Ryan’s ranks all 75 movies he saw in 2012!!!

| January 8, 2013

What an amazing year for The Reel Nerds. We really hit our stride as a podcast and we were given amazing opportunities, from Denver Comic-Con, to Telluride Horror Show, we met some really amazing people and saw some really amazing movies. I saw 75 new movies this year! Plus 2 re-releases, I have always loved movies and doing this podcast lets me talk about the stuff I love (and sometimes do not like). 

The Reel Nerds have made it our goal this year to not judge a movie without seeing it and expect every movie to be good. That will not always be the case but it has helped me enjoy movies that I may have judged in the past unfairly (here’s looking at you Battleship). So without further ado, here is my complete list of movies ranked from 75-1. Thanks to all that make this happen, Brad, editor, designer supreme. James, the wookie, and wisdom beyond mine. To all the fans, thanks for listening and all your feedback. Denver Comic-Con, thanks for the booth and the coolest Con ever. Tsunami Publicity(Ami) for all of your help and the chance to go to Telluride to watch Horror movies and the chance to interview some incredibly talented people. And of course my beautiful wife Laura, you put up with so much and I love you more everyday! 

75. Wrong Turn 5: I saw the trailer for this at Telluride Horror Show and thought it looked like fun, it was not. Cheaply made, poorly scripted, and acted worse then a 2nd grade Easter play, this is the worst movie of the year.

74. Sand Sharks: James and I laughed when we saw the cover art for this movie. I watched it on Netflix streaming for free and I still want my money back. Bad acting, sloppy editing, and Brooke Hogan as a scientist make this almost as bad as Wrong Turn 5, almost.

73. Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II: Not the worse movie of the year but still not that good. Billy Burke is again great and the look on his face when Jacob starts undressing in front of him is priceless almost saying, “this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever done.” And the movie is the most ridiculous movie of the year. I will never get these movies, but at least there is no more…for now.

72. Piranha 3DD: Huge let down after the first one. The first Piranha was fun and goofy, this is none of those. It all takes place at a  lame water park and what could have been a fun franchise instead is now floating in a toilet bowl. 

71. Dark Shadows: Tim Burton and Johnny Depp love the TV show Dark Shadows. You can’t tell by this abomination. Boring and convoluted is the least of this movies problem. Uninspired directing and some weird choices( our daughter is all of a sudden a werewolf at the most convenient time!) this movie is so bad it pains me to see Johnny Depp in this. I have been disappointed with Mr. Depp the last couple years, hopefully he can return to form in The Lone Ranger. 

70. What to Expect, When You’re Expecting: My wife really wanted to see this, and after we saw it she wanted to un-see it. Maybe one laugh in the whole movie but I can’t remember what it is.

69. Les Miserables: Great performances cannot elevate this ho-hum musical. Tom Hopper decided to use extreme close ups and 45 degree angles to tell this story and it is really distracting. Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway are very good however.

68. Intruders: This horror movie out thinks itself and what starts as promising soon spirals into a convoluted mess. Great atmosphere though.

67. Take This Waltz: Seth Rogan stars as a loving husband who is in the process of writing a cooking book. Michelle Williams is his wife who cheats on him because the artist across the street is exciting. What a bogus reason to cheat on someone. Hard to like a movie when the lead is not likable. 

66. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter: I liked the book until the last 60 pages, it did not take me as long to not care for this movie. It never fully embraces the goofiness of the movie, nor does it embrace the seriousness it tries to convey. What you get is a muddled mess of a movie. Some cool scenes of killing vampires help it from being completely dull.

65. Seeking a Friend For the End of The World: Steve Carrell and Keira Knightley are good in this doom and gloom movie, but the movie doesn’t know if it wants to be a comedy or a drama. There are some touching scenes though, Martin Sheen as Carrells father is great.

64. Father’s Day: This is infamous amongst the Nerds. Brad liked it. James and I did not. There is some fun to be had watching this movie, but you have to get past the dick eating and bad acting to get there. I will admit I laughed at some parts, but watching it once is enough for me.

63. Men In Black 3: When I saw the trailer, I was not impressed. I went into the movie however hoping that this movie could recapture the greatness of the first MIB, it did not. It really seems like a bunch of skits built around Agent J and K. Some cool effects, the travel through time is awesome.

62. Cloud Atlas: Half of this movie is good, the other half is boring and distracting. The idea of people being connected over the course of many years is cool, but it just doesn’t work. And the goofy future talk is dumb. But I do want to see this again, maybe in my next life.

61. Ghost Rider-Spirit of Vengeance: The first Ghost Rider was dumb. This one is dumber. Nic Cage is so over the top it’s annoying. The new design of Ghost Rider is cool and there is some sweet car chases throughout the movie.

60. Bourne Legacy: Jeremy Renner steps into the Bourne universe and he is pretty good. The biggest flaw in this movie is it takes so long to get going that when it finally does, it abruptly ends. When we saw it and it just ended everyone in the theater looked around and said really? 

59. Killing Them Softly: Brad Pitt is great in this movie. The rest of the movie is pretty boring. The actors really elevate the material. 

58. The Watch: Another movie that suffers from identity crisis. Is it screwball, is it sci-fi? There is some great moments, and some funny parts but not enough with the talent that is in this picture.

57. American Reunion: This movie reminds me of high school. Yes it’s fun to see the Pie Gang again but it feels a little tired. Eugene Levy steals the movie as Jim’s dad.

56. Underworld-Awakening: Kate Beckinsale returns as the vampire Selene and she still kicks ass. Too bad the rest of the movie is not up to her level. Cool fights with a giant werewolf keeps the blood flowing.

55. The Lorax: Danny Devito as the Lorax is great casting. Ed Helms is great as well. The rest of the movie is a candy coated meh.

54. Wrath of the Titans: Sequel to an ok movie makes this an ok sequel. It is better but the Kraken is cooler then the Lava monster in this one. 

53. Frankenweenie: This movie is very cute at parts. But the mess that makes up the third act can not save the film from being average. At times the animation is great, but there are points that you become distracted by the herky jerkyness of it.

52. Flight: James will tell you this movie is great, I will tell you that it is average. Denzel Washington is superb as a damaged pilot. But he is so horrible that you do not care what happens to him and you just wish the movie would end so you don’t have to endure Whip anymore.

51. Life of Pi: a critical darling but I was unimpressed. There is some cool moments at the beginning but when Pi  becomes shipwrecked is where I lost interest. 

50. Jeff, who Lives At Home: Jason Segel is great in this movie about a 30 something who lives at home. So too is Susan Surandon but I never got into this movie. 

49. Total Recall: This is one of the movie that I thought was better then I was expecting. Len Wisemen makes a great visual world and some cool action set pieces, unfortunately that’s all it is. But I am curious to see the directors cut.

48. Snow White and The Huntsman: Cool concept and Charlize Theron is terrifying as the evil step mom. Cool visuals but again really shallow in the story department. Kristin Stewart smiles in this movie so that’s a plus.

47. Wanderlust: Love Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston, but this movie about a yuppie New York couple that roughs it after losing their apartment is kinda forgettable. Some really great scenes turned in though by Justin Theroux.

46. John Carter: Taylor Kitsch had a tough year but his movies are better then everyone thinks. This sci-fi epic has some really cool action scenes and the trailers do not give the movie justice, rent this one for sure.

45. Casa De Mi Padre: Will Farrell makes a Spanish speaking movie that plays homage to the soap operas on daytime Univision. It is really goofy and it is funny but it takes a little patience to watch.

44. Dredd: Much better then I thought it would be. Super violent and doesn’t try to be anything that it isn’t. Really cool action drives this picture.

43. Taken 2: Liam Neeson kicking some more ass, nuff said.

42. Rock of Ages: I enjoyed most of this musical. Tom Cruise can sing and is great as rock God Stacee Jaxx.

41. Resident Evil-Retribution: Mila Janovich kills zombies, and Paul W.S. Anderson tries to tell a coherent story, only one succeeds. 

40. Premium Rush: Joesph Gordon-Levitt had a great year. This movie starts JGL as a bike messenger who has a dangerous package. The movie has some really cool stunts but it is also kinda silly.

39. This is 40: Judd Apatow returns with a follow up to Knocked Up. The movie has some great moments and is funny. But, the movie doesn’t really have a plot it just follows a family and all the baggage that comes with it. 

38. Battleship: The movie that could have been horrible is actually a lot of fun. Taylor Kitsch is very good as a brash Naval Officer who must stop an alien invasion. The special effects are great and the use of a Battleship to stop the aliens is awesome.

37. Jiro Dreams of Sushi: A good documentary about the greatest Sushi Chef in the world. Jiro’s drive to be the best is inspiring but also crazy that he is in his 80’s and has never had a vacation. Must watch.

36. Silent House: Elizabeth Olsen stars in this “single shot” horror movie that is pretty well done. The mystery that slowly gets solved isn’t that great but it still hinges on an outstanding performance by Olsen. She is the only one on camera for much of the movie and if you don’t believe her the movie is a failure. She knocks it out of the park.

35. Five Year Engagement: Another comedy buoyed but great performances by the leads Jason Segel and Emily Blunt. Super cute and very funny.

34. That’s My Boy: I like Adam Sandler. I think that he is funny and it’s great to see him in a raunchy comedy again. I laughed and enjoyed this movie.

33. The Campaign: Will Farrell and Zach Galafianakis star as rival politicians who pull out all stops to win an election. It’s stupid but it is also really funny.

32. The Grey: Liam Neeson kicking wolf ass, nuff said.

31. Woman In Black: A very good horror movie that goes back to the old Gothic Horror of the 1970’s. Daniel Radcliffe drops the Potter and starts as a lawyer in charge of an estate. It takes awhile to get going but it is very creepy and the ending is haunting.

30. V/H/S: An anthology of horror from 5 different directors, each one of these stories are very unique. Some are not that good, but others are downright scary. The first and the last one are the standouts.

29. The Battery: What a surprise coming out of the Telluride Horror Show. I love when a horror movie catches me off guard and this was one of them. Shot on a shoestring budget of $6,000 I was very impressed. Keep an eye out for this one and be sure to read James’ full length review of the movie and listen to our interview with the cast and crew.

28. Comic-Con Episode IV-A Fan’s Hope: The movie that started our good fortune this year is also very entertaining. There are a lot of mysteries of what Comic-Con really is and this will shed some light on to the event. Chuck Rozanski of Denver’s own Mile High Comics steals the movie with his wit and his blunt observations of San Diego Comic-Con.

27. Moonrise Kingdom: Wes Anderson knows how to make cute movies and he does it again. The charm of his movies are that they are so unique in their voice and style. One word to describe this movie: Whimsical.

26. Ted: Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane makes his feature film debut with a foul mouthed Teddy Bear that comes to life. Yes it’s a lot like Family Guy, but that’s good thing. Very funny and a great performance by Mark Wahlberg makes this a comedy winner.

25. Lawless: A cool period movie about a legendary family of bootleggers. The legend of the Boundurant brothers is fun and violent and Tom Hardy is great as Forrest. 

24. Brave: So cool to see a Pixar movie that focuses on the relationship of a mother and a daughter. It is the most princess movie that Pixar has done but it is wonderful. Animation that is second to none and voice acting that is top notch, another win for Pixar.

23. Expendables 2: Much better then the first because it fully embraces the 80’s action vibe. Bad ass is how I would describe this movie.

22. Goon: Another surprise, the story of a minor league hockey player who’s specialty is fighting  and causing havoc. Really funny and heartfelt.

21. Celeste and Jesse Forever: A movie that came out of nowhere that I totally adored. C and J forever is fun and heartbreaking. Rashida Jones is amazing as a separated wife who still hangs out with her husband. You hope they get back together but at the sametime you realize that maybe they shouldn’t. Great movie.

20. Beats of the Southern Wild: The little girl in this movie is astounding. How a 6 year old commands the screen like she does is mind blowing. The movie itself is somewhat of a Fable and has a surreal quality to it.

19. The Hobbit-An Unexpected Journey: Yes this movie is good. Was there any doubt? I saw it in 48fps and it looks stunning. I’m not sure if I like the HFR but it is an experience I think movie fans should have. The movie itself takes a little bit to get going but when it does it’s fabulous. Martin Freeman is great and of course Andy Serkis as Gollum is hypnotic. I can’t wait for the next chapter.

18. Jack Reacher: Tom Cruise is a force in this movie. The opening 10 minutes of this movie are very intense and it doesn’t let up. Mr. Cruise knows how to be intense and he sells his toughness very well. The car chase scene is bad ass and I love these types of action movies.

17. 21 Jump Street: Incredibly funny and laugh out loud moments make this one of the best comedies of the years. Channing Tatum is a real find as a comedy actor and Jonah Hill again does great work here. Another cool car chase that you think is going one way and totally surprises you.

16. Prometheus: Hauntingly beautiful and scary, Ridley Scott’s return to sci-fi is very welcomed. As a somewhat prequel to Alien the movie it hits all the right notes. I loved Michael Fassbender as the andriod David and think he should be nominated for an Oscar. Ignore the hate on the internet and watch an amazing picture.

15. Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie: So crazy and so not for everyone. This movie has a weird sense of humor and if you get it like I did you will like this movie, if you don’t this will be the worse movie you have ever seen. 

14. The Innkeepers: Great year for character driven horror. I loved this Ti West film about employees of a haunted hotel in search of the ghosts has some scary moments. The movie makes you like the characters so when something bad happens to them you feel it. Not many saw this but you really should.

13. Paranorman: I love this movie. A story about an outcast is the one Tim Burton wishes he could tell, the story is heartbreaking and uplifting. The animation is amazing and you forget that it is stop motion. The ending alone is breathtaking and this is a must watch.

12. Skyfall: This could be the greatest Bond ever. Daniel Craig is the ultimate Bond. Where the previous Bonds were suave and quippy Craig’s is bad ass and tough. This movie is so cool the scenes is Hong Kong are stunning. I can’t wait for the next James Bond adventure.

11. Argo: I have always liked Ben Affleck. To see him make 3 good movies in a row is great and the fact that he has turned into a great director is even cooler. This movie about the Iranian hostage crisis is tense and well made. Top notch acting, top notch directing and one hell of a great ride. Almost in my top 10 but so many good movies this year budge it out.

10. The Hunger Games: I loved this movie. The other Nerds think I am crazy but I thought it was really well done. Jennifer Lawerence is amazing and venerable as Katniss, but as she gains strength you really start to rally behind her. 

9. Sinister: A great horror movie that came from no where. Terrifying take on the found footage genre, it is creative and well acted. I like being surprised by movies and this one surprised me the most this year. Ethan Hawke is great as a writer who needs a new hit book and the length he goes to are understandable and shocking. Watch with the lights off!

8. Wreck-It-Ralph: Funny, heart warming, and beautiful. I love animation and this is my favorite from 2012. Ralph’s video game world had me smiling and the touching story had me rooting for the bad guy. This is the best looking movie of the year and I can’t wait to own it on Blu-Ray.

7. Django Unchained: Another Tarantino movie that I can watch again and again. Jamie Foxx is awesome as a freed slave and so too is Christophe Waltz. It’s a revenge movie that is sometimes hard to watch with it’s blunt take on slavery but it is needed and makes Django’s revenge that much sweeter. Leo Dicaprio is terrifying as Calvin Candie a plantation owner his monologue at the dinner table is an Oscar winner for sure. 

6. Looper: Bad ass time travel movie with a twist so cool I will not spoil it. JGL again shines in the role of Joe a hitman in the near future. I can not wait to see what Rian Johnson does next.

5. The Dark Knight Rises: A fitting ending to Nolan’s Batmam trilogy. What I respect from this series is it’s willingness to take what we think we know about superheroes and smacks us upside the head. Christan Bale gives his best performance as Bruce Wayne and Tom Hardy is imposing as Bane. I wish there would be another Nolan Batman but I am cool if this is how it ends.

4. Lincoln: What a great movie. Daniel Day-Lewis once again shines as Honest Abe. Steven Speilberg direction is of course top notch and Tony Kushner’s script is tight and full of great moments.

3. The Amazing Spider-Man: I was worried about this movie. But as I was watching it I fell in love with Andrew Garfield’s Peter Parker and Emma Stone’s Gwen Stacy. The movie is exciting and funny. It’s well done and I can not wait for the next one. Hopefully The Green Goblin will show up 🙂

2. The Cabin In the Woods: Joss Whedon how I love you. A really cool take on horror movies. It is sorta like Scream where it takes what you know about horror cliches and turns them upside down. The actors are great and the makeup effects are stellar. Also a shout out to Drew Goddard for his tight directing.

1. The Avengers: The coolest movie of the year is also the most fun and the best movie of 2012. After laying the ground work for 4 years Marvel paid it’s loyal fans with the ultimate team up movie. All characters are given their moment and they all shine. Tight script, good directing and actors that are at the top of their game elevate this movie to the top. I love this movie and Phase 2 can’t come fast enough. 

About the Author:

As far as nerds go, there are not many reeler than Ryan. His love for movies is unmatched. He also loves comic books. When you combine comic books and movies Ryan is at his happiest. He enjoys all forms of pop culture and prides himself on knowing more then average nerds. Ryan has a couple of characters he prefers over the rest, first and foremost is Spider-Man. He also loves Ash from the Evil Dead. Ryan also enjoys Finishing people in Mortal Kombat and hopping on Goombas. He has attended Comic-Con and several Starfests with his good buddy Brad. He is amazed on how awesome Brad is at designing Reel Nerds pages. But don’t tell Brad he needs to stay humbled.

Favorite movie: Army Of Darkness

Favorite Genres: Action, Horror, Comic Book, Comedy

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