Producers of the next Ninja Turtles film are looking to re-energize the franchise by swapping the Turtles’ mask colors.
For me, 2016 will be remembered for specialty film events and controversy. I attended a lot of special events, specialty programming at the Alamo, and limited engagements elsewhere. And in a year marred by overwhelming cultural divisiveness, we got 3 major releases that amplified how much people forget that their opinions of art are not facts. There are genocides happening in the world yet some people are ready to go to war over their disappointment over a Ghostbusters movie. The irrational fervor over Ghostbusters, Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad, and to some extent, Star Trek Beyond really turned me off to film culture. Can’t we just appreciate that we get to enjoy movies at all? But I digress… overall, I found that making my Filmsplosion list was more difficult this year with plenty of worthy entertainment to go around.
Vital Statistics
Total ticket sales: $1,007.48
Total films attended: 90
Repeat Viewings: 25
New Release: 69
Re-Release: 21
Alamo Drafthouse Denver: 44
Alamo Drafthouse Yonkers: 1
88 Drive-In: 11
Landmark Esquire: 7
AMC Highlands Ranch 24: 6
Colorado Center 9: 4
Landmark Mayan: 3
Sie Filmcenter: 3
Red Rocks: 2
Colorado Mills: 2
Denver West: 1
Denver Pavilions: 1
Regal Southglenn: 1
Paramount Theater: 1
AMC Cherry Creek: 1
AMC Bowles: 1
Greenwood Plaza: 1
Westminster Promenade: 1
Regal Riverpoint: 1
Landmark Olde Towne Arvada: 1
Landmark Sunshine: 1
Landmark Greenwood Village: 1
Landmark Chez Artiste: 1
Century Aurora 16: 1
Aurora Movie Tavern: 0
Regal Continental: 0
Harkins Northfield: 0
Midnights & Specialty Programming
True Romance
I don’t get it. I was rather bored… and cold. The Esquire was freezing that night.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Already great, even better under the stars at Red Rocks with a crowd of thousands cheering all the best moments.
The Hunger
Bowie and Sarandon… in vampire movie? I think? Again, I was mostly bored and found it hard to follow.
Black Caesar
I guess I was expecting Black Dynamite without the satire, and got a forgettable crime drama.
Galaxy Quest
Still fun after all these years. Glad I got to see it in a theater again.
Bloodsport
Kumite! Kumite! Kumite! Kumite!
Blade Runner: The Final Cut
Aside from the missing narration, I can’t tell what’s different. Doesn’t matter because it’s still great.
Hard Target
A delicious cajun craft dinner came with this one.
Dr. Strangelove
My first time watching this one, and I didn’t get what’s so special about it. To be fair, I was really tired for this show.
Hook
While the effects are dated, a lot of it feels like it exists on a soundstage, it’s still fun and two of the lost buys were on hand for a Q&A.
Street Fighter
Glad to cross this off my bucket list, despite the comedy commentary that came with the show.
The Room
Still a good crowd movie, but the screening had Greg Sestero doing a live-read of the original script.
Space Jam
The first throwback screening at the drive-in and I guess you had to have grown up with it to enjoy it.
Batman
Classic. And I got a free ticket for wearing my cowl!
Star Wars Trilogy
Initially, I thought they were presenting the un-special editions, but the week before, they clarified it was in fact the Special Editions. While it was cool to watch in the Paramount Theater, the sound wasn’t the best and it didn’t feel like the event it was envisioned to be.
Scott Pilgrim
Awesome seeing this again but with a live bass battle included!
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
After a long time hoping someone would show this in theaters again, the Alamo answered my prayers with a craft dinner tailored to the classic banquet between the Federation and the Klingons.
Drive
Saw this in a double feature with The Neon Demon, which makes for a stylish double feature.
Star Trek: First Contact
Two of my favorite Star Trek movies re-released in the same year? Must be the 50th anniversary or something. Still an amazing film.
Air Force One
I used this to ignore the awful election night results. I wish James Marshall could be our new President.
New Releases
Anomalisa
While the animation is incredible, I just didn’t enjoy this character and his selfish story.
Scrapped
An amazing local documentary where the director actually forced himself into homelessness for 30 days to prove how easily a little initiative and hard work could bring him out of it. But instead, he discovered just how hopeless and difficult the problem actually is.
Nina Forever
Has a cool premise where the main character’s ex-girlfriend comes back from the dead through his bed to haunt his new relationship, but I didn’t find the execution all that interesting.
The Witch
While the trailer seemed promising as a haunting and terrifying experience, I wasn’t scared at all and mostly bored.
Hail, Caesar!
Is well made and clever, but I just didn’t connect with this story.
10 Cloverfield Lane
Tense, compelling, and John Goodman’s performance terrifying.
Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday
It’s not the Big Adventure, which is what we wanted. But it was still fun to see Pee-Wee’s world again 30 years later.
Hardcore Henry
I didn’t expect it to be great, but I wasn’t prepared for just how exhausting that camera perspective would get after 10 minutes. The seamless edits are impressive but the story is weak.
Green Room
Another high-tension, trapped in a bottle story, but a film loses me when our heroes have no sense of strategy.
Belladonna of Sadness
Technically, this is a re-release of a 70’s film but I think this is the American release. Has beautiful animation and visuals, but the story is so mean to women I couldn’t enjoy it.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
I only saw the second half of this because it was playing before Keanu at the drive-in.
Keanu
Needed more cat.
Men & Chicken
Enjoyed the quirky humor, but the mystery behind the story seemed rather obvious.
X:Men Apocalypse
I did enjoy this extension of the Days of Future Past story but that detour to show Weapon X, while fun, was unnecessary.
The Lobster
I was into the first half, but the second half lost me.
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising
A fun sequel, more of the same.
TMNT: Out of the Shadows
I did enjoy this more than 2014’s reboot because they focused on the turtles this time and embraced the cartoon mythology. But until they embrace the original comics, I just won’t be satisfied I guess.
The Angry Birds
My friend Jason and I just made fun of this the whole time at the drive-in.
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping
Actually a brilliant satire of the modern music industry. Will probably find cult success like Macgruber.
Finding Dory
Beautiful animation, but the story is as meandering as Dory, which may be brilliant on another level, but left me not caring as much about this tale.
Independence Day: Resurgence
So much of this movie feels like actors just standing in a green screen room. This sequel ups the visual effects and disaster porn without adding much to the mythology and mostly repeating the original… until the very end which sets up what this movie should have been.
Central Intelligence
Standard buddy comedy. Wasn’t into it.
Raiders! The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made
A cool look into the lives of these fans and their passion for Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it feels like there’s some over-dramatization of their rather average lives.
The BFG
I’ve already forgotten why I didn’t enjoy this.
The Legend of Tarzan
Sam Jackson’s dialog was anachronistic, and the rest just felt like a standard CGI heavy, dynamic camerawork update of a classic property.
Swiss Army Man
Appreciated the weirdness, but the middle drags hard for me.
Ghostbusters
I had fun with this. I would have liked to see the sequel that isn’t beholden to pleasing the original fans but looks like that probably won’t happen.
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates
Like Neighbors 2, a fun comedy to pass the time.
The Shallows
Sounds like it’s just me that found this to be a dull, Blake Lively’s body worship movie.
Batman: The Killing Joke
I haven’t read the graphic novel, so I went in cold and left wondering what’s so special about this book. I know the Batgirl prologue isn’t in the novel, and it’s definitely here to fill out time.
Suicide Squad
As one of the few who did enjoy this enough, I recognize it’s not as awesome as the trailers made it seem it would be. A lot of dialog seems unnatural or corny, there aretoo many pop songs across scenes that shouldn’t even have music, character motivations change as needed, the scenes are edited as though they’re covering mistakes… and while I accept Leto’s interpretation of a Joker, his involvement in the plot just feels like a studio note: needs more famous villains. It’s sloppy, but I liked the world and vibe it built.
The Secret Life of Pets
Admittedly, the animation in this is spectacular in places. But animated films targeted at family demographics that get a pass on their subtle subversiveness and do huge business while others that are overtly subversive get protested or calls to be boycotted frustrates the hell out of me. “Let’s think up grotesque ways to murder humans. It’s okay because a cute bunny voiced by Kevin Hart will say it.”
Sausage Party
Really funny, but while the message of the movie probably seems revolutionary to the writers, people in my circle have been acknowledging those ideas for years so it didn’t feel as insightful.
Yoga Hosers
Wasn’t made for me. The Bratzi animation was embarrassingly cheap. I will wait Clerks 3.
Kickboxer: Vengeance
I really want to see JCVD in better movies. A lot of this felt like a compromise just to get it done and released on time.
Blair Witch
Like a more professionally made, bigger budget version of the original. The polish doesn’t change the weak, found footage premise.
The Magnificent Seven
A serviceable update of an often remade movie. I don’t think it brought enough new to the table to justify it’s existence.
Masterminds
I fell asleep toward the end, just after Jason Sudekis’ character enters the picture. I felt like I woke up in a different movie.
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Shows off some interesting weirdness, but it seems like it’s all born out of a writer trying to force arbitrary oddities into the young adult literature market hoping one of them would stick. The world and its rules just never make sense to me. And the tone is all over the place, especially when Sam Jackson becomes a bond villain.
The Girl on the Train
It’s lazy to say, but it’s so much Gone Girl lite.
The Accountant
I dug this angle on your standard assassin becomes the hunted story but maybe one less storyline to focus on would have made it a tighter story.
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Has some good character moments but the plot just wasn’t compelling.
Storks
I missed some of the beginning of this so it’s not fair to give it a definitive review, but what I did see didn’t make me interested to see what I missed.
Pride & Prejudice & Zombies
Well, the title’s everything it claims to be. Might have the cheesiest ending of the year.
Ouija 2: Origin of Evil
Liked this more than I expected because of the throwback title treatments and 60’s production design.
Goosebumps
Just felt like more goofy, CGI-heavy, kid-fare. I didn’t really grow up with the books so maybe I’m missing something.
Lights Out
Felt like they could have explored this premise more than the memes that spawned it. I like when they added that blacklights affect the rules.
Doctor Strange
Obviously Cumberbatch makes Strange a compelling character, but I was surprised how much I bought into his world. I’m still on board with these movies.
Arrival
A beautiful film but it didn’t affect me like it did for the other nerds.
The Love Witch
A spot on recreation of the movies it’s giving homage to, great effort, but it feels long and the story in play isn’t interesting.
Smurfs 2
I thought this was from a few years ago, but it was at the drive-in playing ahead of Inferno. I just don’t get this style of comedy and why it appeals to kids or rather why adults think it appeals to kids. Not for me.
Inferno
I wasn’t invested in this mystery. Just seems like a lot of globetrotting tourism while Tom Hanks acts infected with a virus. Then there’s some mistaken allegiances and ends in a cool underground lair-tomb-sewer where they perform symphonies.
Moana
Absolutely beautiful animation and music disguises what for me was a standard “believe in yourself” plot.
Manchester by the Sea
The tone threw me off. I was expecting a serious drama but there are darkly comedic parts, and it left me feeling I had peeked in on the lives of some New Englanders for two hours and then it was over.
Office Christmas Party
See Neighbors 2 and Mike & Dave reviews…
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Epic and wonderous in scope, appreciated the boldness of the ending, but I was pretty cool to most of the characters except K2SO.
Assassins’ Creed
I felt like the movie spent most of it’s time trying to make me accept the Animus was plausible instead of just telling a compelling story.
Why Him?
See Neighbors 2, Mike & Dave, and Office Christmas Party.
Passengers
I was all into the first and second acts, but the third seems like a race to the finish, sidelines its moral discussion for a ticking bomb, and ends by rewarding some not so admirable choices.
The Top Ten of 2016
10. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
I can feel your hate radiating in my keyboard as I type this and it’s only making me stronger. I felt I had to put one of the big controversy movies in my top ten to appropriately honor 2016 and the Ultimate Cut beats Suicide Squad and Ghostbusters.
9. Don’t Think Twice
Feels like an honest, real peek into the lives of these characters and their world while being awkward and funny.
8. Don’t Breathe
Suspenseful and goes to places that make it stand out from other horror thrillers.
7. La La Land
Just radiates with optimism and happiness even though much of the story is melancholy. Such a delight that, it pains me I don’t have more room at the top for it. I’m even listening to the soundtrack as I write this.
6. Captain America: Civil War
That airport fight. Iconic. Really feels like the best Avengers movie.
5. Star Trek Beyond
The first Trek reboot to capture the spirit and vision of the original show and movies.
4. The Neon Demon
The cinematography is exquisite and the music is wonderfully haunting and the movie has done the same to me all year.
3. Deadpool
Another superhero origin-story, but with a fresh, funny, subversive personality.
2. The Nice Guys
Smart, funny, witty, immensely clever. This has run in my blu-ray player more than anything all year.
1. Thunderbolt 2 & Battlerap Galactica
Because of course. Nothing beats making your own work come to life on screen.
3 years ago, I wrote a post featuring all of the catalog movies I wanted to watch at the Littleton Alamo Drafthouse in the hopes that the suggestions would eventually get programmed. Amazingly, in three years, half of my list has come true! Let’s go through the list and see what screened and what I still need screened to complete my life.
Super Mario Bros. (SCREENED)
Not long after watching this at the Esquire, it DID get programmed at the Alamo so I leveled up!
Last Action Hero (SCREENED)
Again, not long after this list was published, Last Action Hero screened and we attended!
Batteries Not Included
Sadly, still has not screened. Will probably never screen. But I still hold out hope. This movie is absolutely delightful. But I know this is a long shot.
Back to the Future Marathon (SCREENED)
Back to the Future day came in 2015 and the Alamo screened the trilogy… but I couldn’t make it. I celebrated the trilogy somewhere else that day but that doesn’t mean I accomplished my goal. I still want to watch II & III at the Alamo. Sadly, I also missed a craft dinner for BTTF II.
Baseketball
Still waiting to be screened. A favorite to quote among my friends. Not essential, but I’d like to have the ticket for it.
Hamlet (1996)
I think they did screen this but I missed it. This would be tough to program given the almost 4 hour runtime, but I want it.
Hook (SCREENED)
The Esquire got this finally but I couldn’t get there to see it that weekend. Here’s hoping Alamo will give me that second chance. Well I did that chance, and Rufio and Don’t Ask were there for a Q&A!
Howard the Duck (SCREENED)
There has to be some Alamo cult programming this is perfect for right? Well turns out they programmed it for the Mile High Sci-Fi show, so I had to endure so-so comedic commentary laid over it.
First Blood
I think I have a good chance of this getting programmed someday. But people will be surprised it’s not balls to the wall action like it’s sequels… which is why it’s my favorite. They programmed Part II as a craft dinner, so First Blood is possible.
Robocop 2
I always enjoyed this one. Want a ticket. They do the original often. Change it up and give me 2!
Star Trek VI (SCREENED)
My personal favorite of the original series. We get Wrath of Khan all the time, let’s change it up. They did it as a great craft dinner just a few weeks ago.
Suburban Commando
I got this picture off the Austin Alamo page. This could happen!!! Still waiting.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II & III (HALF – SCREENED)
No secret. Huge TMNT fan. But they never show the other two. I lost my mind when the Esquire showed TMNT: The Movie. But they’ve shown it three times since and ever time I went, some jerkoff made a joke about Ninja Rap. So there’s an audience for the second one, I know it! And I never saw the third one in the theater when it came out, so unfinished business. Well turns out, the first sequel doesn’t draw a crowd like the original because attendance was so low at TMNT 2 they’ll most likely never do it again, which ruins TMNT 3’s prospects.
UHF (SCREENED)
Another fav that is perfect for cult programming. They did it and it was fun!
Predator
I’m surprised that with as many times as I’ve heard people yell “Get to da choppah!” this doesn’t roll through Esquire Midnights more, not even around Halloween. Alamo, “Get it to da projectah!” Are you kidding me? Still not this? I swear they even showed Predator 2 at one point.
Heat
Let’s add some new ones to the list! They just did Heat in Austin with Christopher Nolan as host. All I demand is the film (but if Nolan wants to attend we won’t stop him)
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
I think I might have actually accomplished this at an Esquire Midnight… but who cares. Let’s see it at the Alamo just to be sure.
If you listened to this week’s podcast, Ep. 270: Podcasterminds, we discussed the news that Paramount would once again be spreading the Star Trek Beyond home video release’s bonus content across different retailers. They did this before with Star Trek Into Darkness, and studios do it often with other films. But like most things today, we don’t get outraged until it directly affects us. James clearly expressed his frustrations with that model while Ryan shrugged it off as business as usual for the studios. But, I fall into James’ camp. I can’t shrug it off. I’m a Star Trek fan and “that’s just business” isn’t an acceptable excuse for me.
It’s so easy these days to get your entertainment fix online. You can order a blu-ray from Amazon and it’ll show up at your door, sometimes even before the release date. Or, you can avoid cluttering your shelf with plastic and just watch it online via digital download. In fact, the studios prefer that be your only option but that’s a discussion for a different article. So then, what’s the incentive to stand up, get in your car, battle road morons to get to the store, battle shopping morons to get to your movie, then possibly discover they’ve sold out of that movie? But wait! There’s one last copy buried under a different tag! Congratulations! You’re either old and afraid of change or you’re a collector! (Or both)
I’m not a fan of streaming. It’s convenient for trying out, exploring options for entertainment. But the selection isn’t permanent, the picture quality is always fluctuating, you usually don’t get bonus features, and there’s often a service outage when I want to watch something the most. If I LOVE a movie, I want to own it. What’s more convenient for me is to walk over to my shelf, grab the disc and put it in a blu-ray player that’ll unlock all those bonus features and play the video stream at a consistent rate as the artists intended, and do all that on a whim. Also, I’m a graphic design nerd, so creative package design and box art has an all access pass to my wallet.
So, needless to say, I’m buying Star Trek Beyond on blu-ray in November. And, I’ll walk into ANY store that sells it and come home with a couple of discs that compact the entire experience of Star Trek Beyond because it’s the 50th anniversary of Star Trek this year and Paramount is going all out on making that experience magical and memorable for fans.
Wrong!
Paramount, taking a page out of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, is about to exploit your fandom. How big of a fan of Star Trek are you REALLY? Are you fan enough to go to all the outlets selling Star Trek Beyond and complete the experience? C’mon pussy! There’s only one 50th Anniversary ever! You bought every series on DVD and then re-bought TOS and TNG on blu-ray, and also TOS one more time because we remastered the effects for re-broadcast and put that on a newer release! You probably even have a bunch of dusty old VHS’s with only two TOS episodes on each tape in a box somewhere. Are you really gonna argue buying 4 or 5 copies of the same movie is too expensive for you? You baby. A Klingon would kill you where you stand!
Fortunately, America is still free enough that you’re not required to buy everything Paramount produces. (But someday, mark my words, it’s coming. When companies finally rule the nation with impunity and it’s the law to buy 4 or 5 copies of a single movie because Paramount is too big to fail and such a failure would destroy the economy, you’ll buy that fucking Star Trek XXVIII brain implant!) Thus, you have a choice of which copy of Star Trek Beyond is right for you. Here’s what they’re offering format wise: http://www.startrek.com/article/beyond-blu-ray-combo-packs-available-nov-1, which is fine EXCEPT it doesn’t specify a couple things. It reads like DVD owners and 4K Ultra HD adopters don’t get bonus features and 4K doesn’t get 3D.
Now after all that, we also have retailer exclusives (incentives, but for the customer or the retailer? *wink*): http://www.startrek.com/article/star-trek-beyond-blu-ray-details-revealed with some cool things like Amazon and Walmart each have gift sets with model ships in them. But if you look closer, you’ll notice Amazon’s 4K Combo has that aforementioned 3D Blu-ray disc included in their bundle. So that must mean Amazon has the best, most complete purchase of the film? Nope. Target has it’s own second bonus disc with 45 minutes of EXCLUSIVE bonus features. iTunes gets the director’s commentary track. Best Buy has the Steelbook.
Ryan’s correct that retailers have always had product exclusives, but they were often limited to different box art which is a purely cosmetic exclusive and doesn’t limit your experience of the film. Most people don’t do this kind of research before they buy their movie so they don’t even know they’re missing anything. Can you imagine buying Harry Potter and the Cursed Child only to later discover Barnes and Noble’s copies had an extra chapter in them? People would lose their god damn minds! Comics publishers have been selling variant covers for decades but they don’t leave out pages and panels inside some books and not others. I gotta buy the $15 sketchbook variant to get the page that fleshes out the hero’s arc? Fuck yourself.
In the end, we can only vote with our wallets to encourage change. If you don’t like what Paramount is offering you, you can follow James and wait for an acceptable re-release. It’s not ideal but I’m going with the Steelbook. At the end of the day, it’s pretty special that this movie has so many options at all. Meanwhile other great films like The Nice Guys get no special treatment. I’m sure I’ll be disappointed 3 years from now when I’m exploring the special features, wanting to listen to Justin Lin and Simon Pegg’s thoughts about the film, but it’s a small price to pay for shelf image consistency.
Buy Star Trek Beyond November 1st at whichever retailer has the thing you want most. Fuck it.
2015 is behind us and it was another subdued year for me at Reel Nerds Podcast. When the dust settled, my overall feeling was that I’d seen plenty of movies that I liked, very few that I LOVED. This made it hard to fill out the full top ten list. But I also saw far fewer movies this year, lots of old favorites at the art houses, while the mainstream dominated my attention. The most significant development in my movie-going life was the re-discovery of the quiet splendor of the drive-in. Watching 3 movies for $8 in the isolation of my own car was a revelation! Even if the audio wasn’t great, just not having jerks disrupt my attention was worth it. Plus, you’re outside under the stars, I can’t wait to go back for 2016. Oh! And I also screened JCVDDV at the Alamo Drafthouse, so that was pretty cool.
Vital Statistics
Total ticket sales : $604.27 ($400 less than most years)
Total films attended: 56
Alamo Drafthouse: 27
88 Drive-In: 6
Landmark Esquire: 4
Colorado Center 9: 4
Landmark Mayan: 3
Denver West: 3
Denver Pavilions: 3
Harkins Northfield: 3
Colorado Mills: 2
Continental: 2
Highlands Ranch 14: 1
Sie Filmcenter: 1
Greenwood Plaza: 1
Westminster Promenade: 1
Riverpoint: 1
Landmark Greenwood Village: 1
Chez Artiste: 0
Aurora Movie Tavern: 0
Repeat Viewings: 16
New Release: 43
Re-Release: 13
Midnights & Alamo Specialty Programming
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie
The best movie of all time and it was a pizza party!
Drive
I hadn’t watched this since the theater in 2011 and it was even MORE bad-ass with each viewing since!
Back to the Future
The classic. Seems like I catch this every year now. How can anyone go through 2015 without it?
Terminator 2: Shocking Dark
I don’t remember much from this bizarre T2 ripoff other than it was more Aliens than anything Terminator.
The Color Purple
Despite the DVD sitting on my shelf since 2002 and me being a Spielberg fan, James hosting a screening was my first watch of this powerful film.
Atom the Amazing Zombie Killer
Glad to see my friends also getting their film an Alamo screening to celebrate their DVD release. Rock and bowl!
Samurai Cop
Never expected to see this again in a theater. Samurai Cop 2 right after made it look like Citizen Kane.
Rambo: First Blood Part 2
Another bucket list ticket stub scratched off my list. Bring on First Blood & Rambo III guys!
The Dark Knight
Revisiting this modern classic at the Alamo, I appreciated even more of the sound editing, story, and background than I already did
New Releases
Inherent Vice
A well made/acted film that I wasn’t remotely invested in. Not sure what the big deal was.
Mortdecai
One long, forgettable moustache joke. There was a heist somewhere in there.
Hot Tub Time Machine 2
I remember laughing at stuff. That’s about it. Ryan hated it. A perfectly fine comedy diversion that you could probably just enjoy as much on Netflix or something.
Kingsman: The Secret Service
I was surprised at how enjoyable this turned out to be. Pretty clever with good action.
Zombeavers
I toyed with adding this to my top-ten just to be audacious about it. But ultimately, as silly stupid fun as it was, it think they could have done more and better with this concept.
Ex-Machina
If I had watched this again before Filmsplosion, it probably would have remembered why it should have been added to my list. But I didn’t, and all I remember was that it was an excellent, unsettling sci-fi thriller on a small scale. Watch it.
It Follows
Probably the best horror/thriller of the year and it comes with a soundtrack that’s probably better than the movie itself. Glad to see someone pushing inventive ideas in this tired genre.
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Yeah, it’s another, good fun romp in the MCU. But it’s blatantly obvious that it’s just a bridge to the story Marvel really cares about in Civil War. Spader’s Ultron is fun to watch, but alas, his story ends here… unless comic book rules apply…
Spy
Pretty much the typical spy comedy they’ve been recycling for years except, this time, the main character is a woman. Has its moments. Jason Statham steals the screen when he’s pretending to be a great agent when he actually isn’t.
Jurassic World
There has to be some other story in this universe that doesn’t involve the park just breaking down and unleashing dinosaurs? It’s not a bad movie, it’s just disappointing that after three movies and 14 years they couldn’t find any new ground to cover. Spectacular fan service but without characters I cared about, save for Chris Pratt.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
With all the espionage movies this year, this one had the most fun back and forth between it’s leads. You could have taken the nuke plot out and still had a fun spy movie it was that good. Too bad most people skipped it.
Inside Out
Without a doubt one of Pixar’s crown jewels, and just when my heart strings felt safe, Bing Bong sacrifices himself. Lacked the resonance I’ve felt with Wall-E or the Toy Story movies, but still another amazing original film from Pixar.
Ted 2
More good fun in the animated raunchy teddy bear world. Yep.
Terminator Genisys
All the interesting revisions to the Terminator lore are spoiled by the weak fan service it relies on. We’ll never forget T2 was great. Move on. Stop making the Arnold terminator the comic relief. Find someone to save that’s not John or Sarah Connor. Embrace the Future War. Don’t flip school buses without convincing physics. Don’t spoil your amazing twist in the trailer.
Minions
Just stop.
Vacation
Has some funny bits, but feels like the longest trip you’ve ever endured with a completely unsatisfying conclusion and not in the great way the original accomplished.
Black Mass
To be fair, my watch started in the latter half of this. But what I saw didn’t compel me to go back and see what I missed.
Cooties
Considered putting this on my top-ten for a while. Lots of fun, although the ending is weak, as though the filmmakers didn’t know where else to go with the idea of zombie kids terrorizing their teachers.
The Martian
Like Cast Away on Mars, with science projects! Wish they could have avoided the “we crunched the numbers and…” simplification, but I get it.
Sicario
A tense thriller, worth a watch. I slept in the middle so can’t fairly judge it.
The Gallows
Another entry in the found-footage horror genre, where, I was rooting for the shitty ‘protagonists’ to bite it. Starts out promising with the unsettling school play, but after that, boo.
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
Never though I’d see another one of these after the first and somehow I saw this TWICE! Entirely due to the triple feature nature of the drive-in. Um… yeah, people leave the camera rolling way more than a normal person would in a terrifying situation and more shit slams things around. This time they have proof the house is haunted from the beginning and they still don’t elect to move out.
Fantastic Four
Not the trainwreck people would have you believe. I can appreciate the smaller scale, nuanced superhero movie they were going for but when people are expecting Avengers-level films, these things are gonna happen.
The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
There is now a wasteland of zombie comedies in the world. If you qualify that yours is different because boy scouts stuff, then you’d better make sure the movie is framed with mostly boy scouts stuff. This was mostly Superbad meets Zombieland with some merit badges and few laughs.
Bridge of Spies
Spielberg. Hanks. Cold War. Another solid film from the masters. Spielberg navigates the traditionally boring concept of people sitting/standing and talking in scenes by keeping the camera moving and putting it in interesting places.
Spectre
I knew Blofeld would be revealed as related to Bond, so the whole experience was just a long bombastic wait for the explanation. While not as satisfying as Casino Royale or Skyfall, it’s still a charming and pretty, globe-trotting jaunt. After twice elevating the material, falling back into the old Bond conventions was it’s biggest misstep.
Steve Jobs
A great time watching actors… act. Delivering snapping dialog and convincing characterizations.
Samurai Cop 2
Starts out as a promising continuation of the original but quickly falls apart as it’s fairly evident they blew their Kickstarter budget before they’d planned.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
Finally, it’s over. Katniss Everdeen is proved to be a lame role-model for women as she frequently passes out and wakes up to other people solving her problems for her. And in the end, she doesn’t have to choose between Peeta or Gale because Gale is conveniently revealed to have betrayed her. Decision out of her hands! She ultimately chooses to not be an independently functioning heroine when she shacks up and has babies with the guy programmed to abuse her after he stalks her back to their hometown and grows flowers named after her deceased sister and then acts like he didn’t make the connection until he said the name! Fucking creeper. Remember girls, if he chokes you he likes you.
Creed
A solid entry in the Rocky franchise, but I was only really invested in what old Rocky was up to. Stallone knocks this one out.
Legend
Another glimpse into the perils of running a crime syndicate except now with British gangsters. Watching Tom Hardy play dual roles is the highlight.
The Good Dinosaur
Not the complex story we’re used to from Pixar, but it hits the heart unexpectedly and has some of the most realistic CGI environments you’ve ever seen.
Trumbo
Amazing performances abound in this Dalton Trumbo biopic. Again, another great example of actors giving it all in their craft. Everybody shines.
The Big Short
If it wasn’t for the breaking-the-fourth wall humor, this movie would be a huge bummer. The gags help alleviate the crushing depression you’d be susceptible to upon realizing how incompetent people running the economy are AND keep your brain from shutting down a midst the in-coherent financial babble.
The Top Ten of 2014
10. Back to the Future Day
At long last, I watched all the Back to the Future movies in the theater. I wish I had those elusive separate Part II & Part III ticket stubs for my collection, but a single marathon on the future date from the movie is pretty special.
9. Whiplash
Given my adoration for Amadeus, I was probably predisposed to like this exploration of genius vs. mediocrity. The last scene alone could have made this top ten list. Masterful example of motivated edits.
8. The Hateful Eight
This would make a better stage play. Another fun romp in Tarantino’s twisted, chatty world.
7. Turbo Kid
Doesn’t embrace the genre-mashup as much as I’d hoped, but that android steals the movie with one of the most charming performances of the year.
6. Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
It’s impressive that five movies in, this franchise still delivers. Tackling kind of the same plot as Spectre, MI:5 is more fun with the changing allegiance antics between Ethan and Ilsa.
5. Ant-Man
I never would have thought back in July, Ant-Man would end up in my top-ten, yet here we are, with one of the most fun movies in Marvel’s stable while bucking the bombastic trend and keeping things small scale… see what I did there?
4. What We Do in the Shadows
Smart, clever with the kind of chuckles that play out in my head. A cerebral mockumentary that breathes new life into vampire movies.
3. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Yeah, it’s A New Hope all over again and fan service to the max, but damn! It’s so much fun! And because it raises so many new questions, I can’t wait to see how things play out in Episode VIII! 2015 was the year female leads stole the show and Rey leads the pack along with the furious heroine from…
2. Mad Max: Fury Road
Really, this is my number one film of 2015. If I could have put it in every slot below Star Wars, I would have. I should have. This year belongs to the mad. Fury Road’s practical ambition and punk-rock middle finger to film convention was a wake up call for a guy who’s gotten comfortable watching movies. There’s a dude with no eyes rocking a flame-throwing guitar on a rig made of giant speakers! Just when the plot doesn’t know where to go, they say “fuck it” and go back through the same shit. Max Rockatansky is a sidekick to Imperator Furiosa in his own movie! That soundtrack! Real explosions! Enough said.
1. Catastrophe!
Of course I’m gonna put my own film at the top! It won a bunch of awards and was an absolute pleasure to work on. I only hope we can do it again next year.
So, this morning, Paramount gave us our first taste of the third Star Trek movie in the reboot series and, don’t worry nerds, Brad, your resident Star Trek aficionado, is here to ease you through what is most likely a difficult time (based upon my glimpse into the comments sections of the trailer. Always a mistake.)
Look. I’m, most likely, the biggest fan of Star Trek among the three of us, so when the franchise churns out another installment, I have the biggest investment in it. When they rebooted the franchise, I accepted that the Trek I knew and loved had moved on because Paramount is in the business of making money, not fan service. Classic Star Trek is almost 50 years old. The studio needed to attract a new generation of fans to keep the revenue flowing for the next 50. I get it.
And as you’ll see from this handy BoxOfficeMojo.com chart, us classic fans weren’t giving enough money to Paramount to keep classic Trek viable.
| Star Trek Into Darkness | $228,778,661 | ||||||
| Star Trek | $257,730,019 | ||||||
| Star Trek: Nemesis | $43,254,409 | ||||||
| Star Trek: Insurrection | $70,187,658 | ||||||
| Star Trek: First Contact | $92,027,888 | ||||||
| Star Trek: Generations | $75,671,125 | ||||||
| Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country | $74,888,996 | ||||||
| Star Trek V: The Final Frontier | $52,210,049 | ||||||
| Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home | $109,713,132 | ||||||
| Star Trek III: The Search for Spock | $76,471,046 | ||||||
| Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan | $78,912,963 | ||||||
| Star Trek: The Motion Picture | $82,258,456 |
For 20 years, across 7 films, Star Trek attracted about the same domestic box office revenue, the anomalies being ST: IV peaking at almost $110 million in 1986 dollars, and flaming out around $5o million between ST: V & X in 1990’s dollars. Everyone’s favorite Wrath of Khan isn’t even the top earner of the franchise. Remember, Paramount is still in the business of using film to make tons of money and, as we well know, higher box office revenue doesn’t equal higher quality films, just more films. So, to make more Star Trek movies, Paramount needed a blockbuster. They did that by rolling the dice and reaching out to the new audience and wildly succeeded. They filled their coffers, attracted new fans, and did it again four years later (well, maybe not the fans part).
All of this is to say, I’m not that shocked by the Star Trek Beyond trailer. It’s certainly different, and blatantly a strategic marketing effort targeted at the Guardians of the Galaxy/Marvel audience. But that’s where the money is! Young audiences pay for explosions and dark rooms to send texts to their friends! Fuck all us old fans with the tight wallets! Go buy Next Gen on blu-ray and binge watch old Trek if you love it so much! (said some Paramount exec. Probably.)
The reboot movies are still entertaining, the cast has been charming and evocative of the characters, and I want to see more anything written by Simon Pegg, so I’m still in. But for everyone else who is afraid of this Fast & Furious-coated Star Trek Beyond trailer, let me show you how easily music manipulates your perceptions! I layered the Giacchino Star Trek theme over the trailer’s visuals and lowered the Beastie Boys song (as much as I could without the source assets) and it’s back to feeling like a Star Trek movie:
^ Star Trek Beyond re-edited with Reboot Theme
So let’s try not to get so worked up about trailers that we junk up comment threads with our useless opinions from now on, okay?
Brad
(Commence junking up this thread)
Well, another year of the 48 Hour Film Project has passed and I’ve emerged with another new short film. I’m proud to present my horror film “Catastrophe!” this Sunday, August 9th, 8pm, at The Oriental Theater! It involves and world-wide cataclysmic event and the two siblings who have to find a way to safety amidst the chaos.
Tickets can be acquired at the door or online here: https://holdmyticket.com/checkout/event/216329.
My film is in Group D.
Thanks! Hope to see you there!
– Brad
Even though I said on the podcast that Jurassic World was an ‘okay’ movie, Ryan has been lumping me into the ‘it sucked’ camp because, for him, this type of movie doesn’t have to try for anything more than: park breaks, dinos get out, terrorize people, money well spent. And clearly, the rest of the world was fine with it too because, even after one week at the box office, it’s still selling record amounts of tickets. (I’ve seen it twice! In 2D and 3D IMAX)
And good for JP4! A lot of people worked really hard to make another summer blockbuster that does just that! It hits all the summer blockbuster checklist boxes it was designed to do and it worked. Hopefully Universal employees are getting fat bonuses this year after scoring two monster hits (Furious 7).
But, I’m not fine with JP4 just being ‘okay’. And again, I will clarify, Jurassic World IS NOT terrible or unwatchable or the worst movie of 2015. I just don’t think it’s that much more watchable than the other two sequels (which I also think are just okay, not terrible, not the worst movies of those years either) and certainly doesn’t capture the wonder of the first.
I wish it tried harder to be something more. I was never surprised or impressed or challenged with anything going on. I was simply along for the ride and I feel like on your fourth outing (after leaving the public consciousness for 15 years) you have a great chance to try something new. Take a chance!
I’m also a firm believer in that if you criticize something, offer up a better idea in its place and don’t just sit back and claim ‘they did it all wrong’ without providing the solution. So here’s my solution:
My biggest point of boredom with the movie was the story. So I present to you… MY plot synopsis for Jurassic World: The Brad is a Genius Edition:
The park is finally open!
The death of John Hammond and numerous lawsuits have left a void in the vision of his park. Lawyers and billionaires have wrangled the patents and rights solely back to the full ownership of inGEN who build the fully functioning park purely for profit, and in doing so, make it only affordable to the world’s wealthiest vacationers. (ubiquitous social commentary fulfilled)
Meanwhile, a young, female dino-enthusiast (let’s pick a name for her at random… how about… James!) from a lower-middle class family, dreams of one-day seeing a living-breathing dinosaur in-person. James’ classmates insist it’ll never happen unless she wins the lottery but she insists that by chasing a career in archaeology, she may someday get a job at the park.
But she can’t wait. And her best friend, Ryan, says he knows a way to sneak into this exclusive and highly secure park because he’s learned skills “on the streets”. So, they hitch-hike to the island via a series of street-smart scams and ruses and find a flaw in the park security much to the chagrin of park manager, Bryce Dallas Howard.
Knowing her billionaire boss will not stand for this security breach or the loss of revenue for two teenagers, BDH dispatches a team to track and incarcerate the plucky pair. This team is not led by, but includes Chris Pratt, who is reluctant to follow these orders because he doesn’t agree with the exclusiveness of the park and general lack of respect for nature. Team leader Vincent D’onofrio is more than happy to play war games on some freeloading kids, so while trying to trap James and Ryan, the team accidentally breaches the paddock of some carnivorous dinosaur(s) and all Hell breaks loose!
Chris Pratt survives the breach, teams up with the kids, and works to find a way back to central command, knowing there is no way to ever contain or fight the dinosaurs. Back at central command, the building is empty, except in the genetics lab, Chris, James, and Ryan find a distraught BDH raiding the embryos.
“I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!” she yells before injecting herself with Tyrannosaurus DNA! She mutates into a ginger/T-Rex hybrid and Chris Pratt distracts her with a flare while James tries to formulate an antidote using knowledge we foreshadowed to throughout the movie up to this point. Just as Chris Pratt is about to get eaten, Ryan fires the antidote into G-Rex’s mouth and she dissolves into bones and Ryan quips, “You just got… boned! Giggity..”
They leave the lab and go back out into the park looking for a boat when suddenly, flying saucers descend from the sky revealing… ARMED HYPER-INTELLIGENT SPACE DINOSAURS (basically Triceratons) who demand the embryos!
CAMERA PUSHES IN ON CHRIS PRATT AND KIDS
CHRIS PRATT
Well this… ex-stinks.
CUT TO TEXT CARD: TO BE CONTINUED IN “JURASSIC SPACE”!
Hey guys. Writing a major Hollywood script is hard.
I think we’re all in agreement that 2014 was a down year for movies. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t looking forward to the next Friday, but rather dreading our motto to give every movie a chance. Maybe I was just burned out from making my own, but overall, few films from 2014 stuck with me. Let’s recap…
Vital Statistics
Total ticket sales (at $10.50): $777.00
Total films attended: 76
Alamo Drafthouse: 34
Landmark Esquire: 17
Highlands Ranch 14: 7
Landmark Mayan: 4
Colorado Mills: 3
Denver West: 3
Denver Pavillions: 2
Chez Artiste: 1
Sie Filmcenter: 1
Colorado Center 9: 1
Landmark Greenwood Village: 1
Aurora Movie Tavern: 1
Harkins Northfield: 1
Repeat Viewings: 3
New Release: 53
Re-Release: 20
Midnights & Alamo Specialty Programming
Predator
Been waiting a while to add this classic to my ticket collection. Such a bad-ass movie.
Last Action Hero
Another classic added to the collection. Such an under-rated parody of action films of the time.
Streets of Fire
A weird, goofy musical/road movie.
Pretty Woman
Saw this as part of a movie interruption with local comedians, which I think might be the only way to watch it. Didn’t see the original appeal.
They Live
Weird movie. There’s that silly extra-long fist fight.
Big Trouble in Little China
Another goofy film and another midnight I fell asleep in.
Batman
Dressed up as the Keaton Knight for back=to-back nights. Much fun.
Groundhog Day
Started out fun enough but it’s pretty long for a comedy and, again, fell asleep toward the end.
Hawk Jones
A cliche adult action film but the characters are played by children. Good fun.
Back to the Future
Always to eager to catch this one.
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm
Never expected to see this in theaters. One of the best Batman movies around.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Whenever this one makes the rounds, I attend. The best adventure.
Sharknado (Rifftrax Version)
Adam took me to see this for my birthday. Ridiculousness made even better with the MST3K guys poking fun at it.
Princess Mononoke
It’s been a while, but watching it again confirmed it’s still my favorite of the Miyazaki films.
The Room
It’s a wonder how I’ve managed to see this once a year. It doesn’t deserve it, but seeing it with friends and a crowd is the only way to do so.
The Land Before Time
Surprised they got this into the midnight series and it wasn’t much like I’d remembered it from all those years ago.
Howard the Duck
Pleased to get this ticket added to my collection. Watched it with commentary by comedians but even they found a hard time making fun of it. Maybe because it’s actually not that bad?
UHF
They’ve got it all on UHF!
Batman Returns
Always a good time when you see both Burton Batmans in the same year.
New Releases
Evangelion 3.0
After the second film got me so excited, this one brought things back to being vague and confusing. I guess Evangelion is just inherently confusing.
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Chris Pine does a good job taking up the role of Jack Ryan but it’s more of the Kenneth Branaugh show with little action and heavy espionage-babble.
Her
An interesting look at relationships. For anyone who’s ever been dumped, it hits pretty close to home.
Robocop
Not bad despite ditching the over-the-top satire of the original in favor of more subtle, currently relevant commentary. The horrific reveal of Alex Murphy’s remaining parts is the only real stand out, shocking moments of the movie.
The Monuments Men
While experiencing a WWII film from a mostly non-combative perspective might seem like an interesting premise, the execution feels flat and derivative.
Non-Stop
Taken on a plane. Really.
Anchorman 2 (R-Rated)
The jokes are so random and disposable that 750 new ones didn’t change the experience. Also, barely R-rated.
300: Rise of an Empire
In the years since the original, the formula has been copied and driven into the ground. Nothing is fresh or surprising except how cartoonish Eva Green’s character appears.
Muppets Most Wanted
The Muppets are still fun but this one is lacking much of the self-referential humor that made the previous so charming.
Bad Words
Funny, raunchy opportunity for Bateman’s character to be an unrelenting asshole but maybe his turn-around wasn’t that satisfying.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
A pretty solid action film with a decent, world-changing story. Much improved from the previous film. Although, the convenient expositional computer sequence was a bit lazy.
Cheap Thrills
Seemed like a promising premise but the challenges weren’t as shocking as advertised. They could have taken this premise further.
The Raid 2
While the story is meh, the action is incredible every time. There’s a car chase sequence that will make you wonder how no one is actually dead from it.
Under the Skin
A haunting film with almost no dialog about an outsiders examination of being human.
Transcendence
With the pedigree behind it, it’s a wonder how it turned out so boring.
Draft Day
Pretty much the NFL version of Moneyball, but still has likeable characters.
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Sorry Ryan, but with the exception of the already established Death of Gwen Stacy storyline, the movie is a mess. Electro might be the most one-dimensional super-villain in a comic book movie. And why would there be lightning bolt decorations on his suit?
Neighbors
A fun comedy of escalating pranks.
Blue Ruin
A detailed look at the pursuit of revenge.
Godzilla
Almost two and a half hours and Godzilla appears in about 8 minutes of it. Maybe I’m crazy to want a Godzilla movie to be about Godzilla and not some dude trying to get home to his wife after you kill Bryan Cranston off early.
A Million Ways to Die in the West
It was funny at the time but once it’s over, you move on.
Edge of Tomorrow
Much better and more clever than the advertising would lead you to believe.
Snowpiercer
I didn’t enjoy this a much as everyone else. Most of the time I was bored or trying to reconcile how the world works in it.
Hercules
Reminiscent of forgettable mythological movies from the 90-00’s.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Obviously, this was the most disappointing movie of the year for me. After being initially sold as an edgier, faithful adaptation of the original comics with Kevin Eastman’s endorsement, the result is the predictably Transformers version of TMNT. Shredder might as well be Megatron and the turtles feel like supporting characters in a movie about April O’ Neil.
The Expendables 3
After embracing the over-the-top fun of 90’s action films in EXP2, this movie goes back to the blandness of the first. I don’t even remember how Mel Gibson was defeated at the end. Punching? Yeah, let’s say punching.
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
Much like 300: Rise of an Empire, this feels like an extension of a style and premise that’s been lampooned into the ground. I didn’t even realize Brolin’s character was Owen’s (Dwight) until the end.
Doctor Who: Season Premiere
My first full exposure to Doctor Who was mostly this new Doctor questioning who he really was and trying to convince his companion he was the same person he always was. I was lost most of the time.
Let’s Be Cops
Had some funny parts but otherwise it didn’t stick with me.
Tusk
While I appreciate Smith’s pursuit of turning a podcast conversionation into a full film, the result isn’t as shocking and perverse as it could have been given the premise of surgically turning a man into a walrus. Parks is great and weird but everyone else is pretty unlikeable and the walrus suit is too well-lit to appear disturbing at all. Parks dawning his own suit was hilarious though.
The Skeleton Twins
Pretty simple “indie” film about a brother and sister who’ve grown apart due to a traumatic event in their past, with great performances from the cast. It’s all about the acting in this one.
Gone Girl
It’s an impressive execution of a faux-murder mystery. Just when I thought I knew how things were going to go, they flip the premise and reeled me in.
The Judge
Reminiscent of simple 90’s dramas, the Judge is another film where the appeal is the strong acting from its great cast.
The ABC’s of Death 2
Like the first, each short is so quick and disposable, only a few stick with you once it’s over.
Nightcrawler
Gyllenhaal’s performance is trancendant which, while it’s so good, his character is so unlikeable it makes you question whether you should be enjoying the movie. It also skewers the state of sensationalist modern journalism.
Dumb & Dumber To
There were lots of disposable comedies this year. Maybe it’s just me. While I liked the original, it’s never been iconic for me. This was a funny continuation of the story for me.
Interstellar
A bit complex to wrap my head around, but a beautiful experience to behold. We need more exporative space movies… Star Trek!
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
While I’ll concede Catching Fire was an improvement over the first movie, Mockingjay crashes right into the ground with 2 hours of Katniss standing in rubble looking concerned and questioning whether or not she can or should make a difference. I’m pretty sure this part of the story is completely useless. I predict you’ll be able to watch the whole series and skip this film everytime and get the same trite experience every time.
Foxcatcher
Carell gets most of the accolades for his amazingly hauting performance, but everyone else does a great job too. It’s a very disturbing look at the isolated world of the elitists.
Laggies
An enjoyable journey of people holding themselves back in life. Rockwell is funny and it’s funny to see Knightley play an aimless slacker.
The Frame
Denver represent! For the first hour or so I was disinterested in the “two TV shows watching each other” plot, and then it became a completely different movie about an outside presence manipulating the characters’ lives. It was cool to see familiar Denver locations and friends in the film.
The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies
This one brought me back to enjoying the middle-earth films, even though it’s structurally odd. It’s the most I’ve enjoyed this series since Fellowship.
Horrible Bosses 2
More of the same, but still funny.
Big Eyes
It’s nice to see Burton back on a movie that doesn’t require tons of CGI work. Also, Adams and Waltz’s performances are terrific especially once the ruse spirals out of control.
The Imitation Game
Already a facinating film, the dilemma that appears once the enigma machine is cracked is devastating.
The Interview
The most-controversial movie of the year… actually isn’t a big deal. It’s pretty funny, but like “This Is The End”, it’s Franco and Rogen just having stupid fun at everyone else’s expense.
The Top Ten of 2014
10. Fateful Findings
In the vein of “The Room”, this is another terrible train wreck you can’t look away from. It’s on the list because it was so much fun to ridicule.
9. Frank
When an aspiring musician falls in with another group musicians, his lack of true artistic inspiration poisons the group and it was infuriating to see him co-op their distinctiveness for his own aspirations. A true cautionary tale of the dangers of making art without a soul.
8. X-Men: Days of Future Past
After the X-Men 3 debacle, bringing Singer back in to right the ship was the best solution. While the story was tried and true in the comics, the execution on screen finally looked mature again.
7. Birdman
As an aspiring filmmaker, watching this made me feel inferior in my efforts as I’m pretty sure I’ll never be able to achieve the complexity of this film. Fires on all cyliders from acting, to cinemaphotography, to storytelling.
6. The Lego Movie
Everything is awesome!
5. Guardians of the Galaxy
Not being much of a Marvel fan, I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this property without any prior knowledge of it. And that opening sequence was actually awesome in 3D.
4. The Grand Budapest Hotel
Well, Anderson never fails to delight me. With each fill he exercises even more exacting control over the world he creates into unique whimsy.
3. 22 Jump Street
Definitely the funniest thing all year. Once it arrived on blu-ray I watched it back-to-back-to-back-to-back.
2. The Diary of Anya Frank
I was almost ready to call this my last 48 Hour Film but we won an award for “Best Use of Line of Dialog” and enjoyed a relaxed weekend of filmmaking. It was re-invigorating.
1. Jean Claude Van Damme’s Damn Van
Of course I’m gonna make the film I spent 8 months making my favorite film of the year. No Hollywood experience can top working with your friends and learning how to make your films better.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 7pm, The Bug Theater
3654 Navajo St, Denver, CO 80211
FREE ADMISSION!
“GET THAT DAMN VAN!!!”
You’ve got nowhere to run when “Jean Claude Van Damme’s Damn Van” finally premieres at The Bug Theater! Enter at your own maximum risk!
FREE ADMISSION!
But be as cool as JCVD and buy some concessions while you’re here to support our gracious hosts at the Bug Theater! There will be power popcorn, JCVD’s Fireball Beer, badass bald-eagle shakes, killer cupcakes, da-bomb brownies, and more!
(6pm-7pm) Pre-show festivities
(7pm-7:30) Introduction & Trailers
(7:30-8:00) JCVDDV
(8:00-close) Afterparty, Poster Signings, possible Q&A
See the most intense, action-packed, hilariously stupid, spine-splitting, face-meltingly awesome movie of the decade!
Nebulus Visions Multimedia presents in association with R. Giddy Productions and Twelve Monkeys Dancing Films:
Mayor Thomas Knob (Ryan Carroll) plans to demolish the Paradise City hockey stadium to build his new mansion in its place. But Col. Luc Sloane (JCVD) and his son Kurt (Adam Smith) stumble onto his scheme which leads them into an action-packed, adrenaline-fueled race against time where Sloane’s TimeCop daughter, Sarah (Risa Scott) tracks them down from the dystopian future Knob has created. It’s up to the Sloane family and their damn van to battle through motorcycle ninjas, gangland assassins, a cyborg, and a serial killer (Cougar) in order to stop Mayor Knob once and for all!
Also starring: Robert Tanaka, Eileen Agosta & Josh Hahn
