After a six year absence I returned to the great Telluride Horror Show. The first two times I went it was with the other Nerds. However, sometimes life gets in the way and since our last visit to the beautiful mountain town, I’ve had a son and James has gotten married and had a daughter.

So, it was with great excitement that my wife, (the most beautiful, most understanding woman ever) said it would be awesome to go back to Telluride for a vacation and horror movie watching.

Since our absence, Telluride Horror Show has grown a lot. There is now a third venue to screen the films. And in previous years I took the warning of movies selling out with a grain of salt. This is no longer the case as I was 17 minutes early to a screening of a film only to be turned away because it was sold out. It was so cool to see how much this film festival has grown in popularity as it is such a unique experience. On the way to our last film on Saturday night, our driver (no we are not rich, it was included with our hotel room) said he too has seen how much The Horror Show has grown and commented how cool it was to see the leaves falling and people in spooky costumes.

Below is a review of all four movies I was able to see this year. If you have the opportunity and you love horror movies Telluride Horror Show is worth the trip.

Wounds (2019) Directed by Babak Anvari

Wounds, making its Colorado debut is an uneven, sometimes meandering horror film. It goes for shock and ambiguity and it doesn’t quite pull off either.

Will (Armie Hammer) is a bartender at a dive bar in New Orleans. His girlfriend Carrie (Dakota Johnson) is a student(?) at Tulane. They seem to be having problems, however this is never truly explored, and it’s just implied as Carrie is distant and withdrawn from Will. Will seems to be coasting in life, as it again is never really explored but he dropped out of college for some reason and is now a bartender.

Will also has a crush on Alicia, (the always great Zazie Beetz). But she has a boyfriend, Jeffery and Will doesn’t see what she sees in him.

One night at the bar a fight breaks out between two men, a group of college kids start filming the fight. After the fight breaks up the college kids run out of the bar when they learn Will has called the police. One leaves behind a cell phone that Will takes home.

At home Will receives an ominous text message, which he ignores. Soon Will and his girlfriend are soon terrorized not only by the college kids but something else as well.

Wounds sets up a lot. It delivers on almost none of its lofty ideas. Themes and storylines are introduced sometimes without any payoff or reason. Why is the dude who fights at the bar refusing medical attention? Why does he ask Will to stay because of “nightmares”? Why does Carrie mistrust Will so much? Why does Will like Alicia so much? Did they date before? Was she only a customer who flirts with Will? What the hell is the Book of Wounds? How do the college kids have this power and why do they murder people? Why is Will such an asshole? Is the whole film exploring the disease of an alcoholic? What do the cockroaches mean?

As you can see the film asks a lot of you, without giving you much in return. I don’t mind horror films that don’t give all the answers, but if you ask your audience to be smart, don’t make a dumb movie with dumb characters. Johnson is given literally nothing to work with. Hammer fares better because he is given the best lines and the most fleshed out character. Beetz is great as always as she is given a sympathetic arc.

I haven’t seen any of Anvari’s other films, but his vision is flat here. Shaky cams to show panic and forced perspective to show Will being followed by a car(!) don’t help. He’s much better at the quiet moments between Will and Alicia.

I didn’t dislike everything. It has some funny moments. As mentioned above, Will and Alicia have some great moments and Anvari seems much more comfortable with those.

A scary movie that isn’t scary and sinks under its lofty ideas derails Wounds from becoming anything more than a ho-hum affair with a lame ending.

Grade: C-

Scare Package 2019, Directed By Multiple

Scare Package is a horror comedy that made is US debut at Telluride Horror Show is a funny, gory anthology that is a treat for horror fans.

Billed as 7 filmmakers. 7 Tales of Terror. 0 Working Cell phones, Scare Package delivers nearly an hour and forty five minutes of horror glee. The first tale we meet Mike, his job is to make sure that the horror movie goes as planned so he is cutting power, pointing signs the wrong way and placing demonic toys in the attic just right, but he wants more. Does Mike dare to become a part of the film itself?

The wraparound tale involves Rad Chad’s Video Store where Rad Chad is training a new employee, Hawn the ins and outs of the video business. They watch videos that introduce us to each segment.

To tell you the ins and outs of every segment would ruin the greatness that lies within the film. There is a surprise cameo, tons of fun gore (especially in One Time In The Woods) and the whole cast and crew are having a blast.

Being an anthology, Scare Package does suffer from the occasional let down. All the segments have their moments but some are such a wild ride that what comes after is bound to suffer when they are not as crazy. But even the stories that don’t live up to the wild, zany ride that most of Scare Package is, they do a great job telling the self-aware horror that encompasses the whole film.

Scare Package is destined to be a favorite among horror movie fans and midnight screenings for years. The audience I saw it with was laughing and cringing, sometimes all at once.

Grade: A-

The Deeper You Dig, 2019 Directed By John Adams, Toby Poser and Zelda Adams

The Deeper You Dig made its Colorado debut at Telluride Horror Show and was the biggest surprise of the show.

Echo (Zelda Adams) is a teenage girl, who goes out sledding on night. Kurt (John Adams) is flipping a house down the road. After a night of drinking, Kurt decides to drive home. When Kurt feels a bump in the road he assumes he killed a deer. To his horror, it’s Echo. He picks up Echo in a panic and takes her to the home he is working on. He places Echo’s body in the tub. Ivy (Toby Poser), is Echo’s mother and also a psychic calls the police after Echo doesn’t come home. Ivy soon learns that her daughter is dead and suspects Kurt might have something to do with it.

The Deeper You Dig, is truly a remarkable film. The Adams Family shot, edited, and composed some of the music for the film. What really stood out to me was how well the film was shot. Almost every frame of the film is carefully thought out, not only for blocking but for lighting and what is in the frame. The level of detail is simply outstanding. In the Q and A that followed the movie, John Adams said that what makes the film look so good is that each member of his family brings their strengths to certain scenes. That too is amazing because the film is cohesive and I could not tell a difference in the film from one scene to the next.

While most of the film is solid, the mythology of the ghost story sometimes collapsed under its own weight. The script lacked some polish and the film succumbed to some cheap jump scares. The jump scares seemed even more unnecessary as the film stands on its own as a quiet character study.

The Deeper You Dig was a pleasant surprise. It was a film I decided to see at the last minute when my wife decided to take a nap. I am glad I saw it. The Deeper You Dig is a beautifully shot, well made ghost story.

Grade: B-

Porno, 2019 Directed By Keola Racela

Porno is a horror comedy that made its Colorado debut at Telluride Horror Show. And buckle up because Porno is one hell of a ride.

Five employees of a small Christian town theatre discover a dark secret below the theatre. An old film that unleashes a sexy and deadly succubus that terrorizes them and gives a new meaning to sex education.

 It’s another night at the movies for Abe and Todd. BFF’s who are tired of watching either Encino Man or A League of Their Own. When a drunk (maybe) homeless guy trashes the theatre and discovers a hidden basement with a deadly secret. What appears to be a movie theatre destroyed by fire, the teenagers soon find a movie reel that appears untouched. They force Heavy Metal Jeff, the projectionist to play the film. The film appears to be a horror film which the teens call a “Porno”. What the film does is unleash a sex demon who preys on the teenagers and their character flaws.

Porno is balls to the walls insane. It starts a little slow, but that’s ok as it allows us to like the main characters and care when something bad happens to them. Porno also has gore and nudity to spare. The performances are all great. With Robbie Tann as Heavy Metal Jeff stealing every scene he is in. Director Keola Racela is also on point throughout the picture. From the pitch perfect replication of a 70’s grindhouse film, to the appropriately awesome soundtrack the aesthetic of the film is top notch.

One gripe I had is the film did not stick the landing. The execution was solid but it was a little overstuffed and was not properly explained.

Porno is going to be a late night favorite in the horror community. It has loads of gore and nudity to help sell the film, but it’s the character moments that will make Porno have a longer shelf life than most other late night popcorn favorites.

Grade B-