Review

Ryan’s 150 Favorite Films: Number 138, The Maltese Falcon (1941)

One of the most frequent questions I am always asked being the host of the greatest movie podcast ever (opinions may vary) is “What’s your favorite movie?” That answer has been the same since I was 11 years old. But it also isn’t as easy to explain why I love some movies more than others.

As an art form, movies are by their nature interpretative. Some people will point to a film’s box office total as a barometer for a film’s quality, this might not be true again because although it might be popular to the masses it might not appeal to you. I am looking at you Avatar, which is not one of my favorite films, not by a longshot.

Also, if the film wins an Academy Award for Best Picture, that hardly means it’s one of my favorite films, looking at you The English Patient, in fact I hardly agree with the Academy. Having said that, I am sure that some people love Avatar and The English Patient. And that’s what makes movies so great.

I, also am not a professional critic. I love film. I try and find merit in all film. As a host of a podcast that attempts to give every movie a chance, I believe that is the best way to approach movies, let the lights go out and try and enjoy yourself. You might find a “diamond in the rough.”

When thinking of my favorite movies to share with you, my loyal listeners, I thought 100 wasn’t going to be enough. So, I am proud to present my 150 Favorite Films, right now. These will change, I know they will.

See you at the movies!

***Spoilers Ahead!***

138. The Maltese Falcon (1941) (Directed by John Huston)

The Movie: Two private eyes in San Francisco, Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart) and Miles Archer (Jerome Cowan) are visited by Ruth Wonderly (Mary Astor), who tell the men that her sister is missing. Ruth tells them that she ran away with a man named Floyd Thursby. Archer agrees to help Ruth find her sister and get her back home.

Later the same night, the police inform Spade that Archer has been killed. Further adding to the mystery is when Spade attempts to contact Ruth, she has checked out of her hotel and can’t be found.

Detective Polhaus (Walter Bond) and Lieutenant Dundy (Barton MacLane) believe Spade killed Thursby, who was also found dead, because he most likely killed Archer, giving Spade the motive to kill him.

The next morning, Spade is confronted by Ruth Wonderly, who confesses to Spade that her real name is Brigid O’Shaughnessy, and she made up the story to get help. Brigid tells Spade that Archer was her partner and most likely killed Archer, but she does not know who killed Thursby. Spade reluctantly agrees to help Brigid.

Later, Spade meets Joel Cairo (Peter Lorre) at his office, who believes Spade has a black figure bird and offers Spade $5,000 for it. Spade has no idea what Cairo is talking about and knocks him out after he pulls on gun on him. Cairo impressed hires Spade to help him as well.

Spade goes and visits Brigid and tells her about Cairo. She seems to know him and Spade arranges a meeting between Cairo and Brigid. At Spade’s apartment, Spade learns of the “Fat Man” who is now in San Francisco, which doesn’t sit well with Cairo.

The next morning Spade observes the man who was following him the night before. The man reveals his name to Spade, Wilmer Cook (Elisha Cook Jr.) and that he can take Spade to “Fat Man”. Spade meets the “Fat Man”, Kasper Gutman (Sydney Greenstreet). Kasper explains to Spade the story of The Maltese Falcon, and gives Spade a choice. He will give Spade $25,000 for the bird and another $25,000 after it’s sold, or he can take a quarter of whatever it sells for. Spade can’t answer as his drink was poisoned and he passes out, not before he sees Gutman, Cairo and Wilmer all leave together.

Spade awakens from his sleep and searches the office. He finds a newspaper and the ship La Paloma is circled on it with its arrival time. Spade arrives at the dock too late as the ship is engulfed in flames. The ships Captain Jacoby stumbles into Spade’s office, shot and mortally wounded. In his arms is The Maltese Falcon. Brigid calls Spade and gives him an address, when she does she screams and the phone goes dead. Spade stashes the Falcon at a bus terminal and finds the address given to him is an empty lot.

Back at Spade’s home, Brigid is waiting for him. Inside Spade’s home he finds Wilmer, Gutman, and Cairo waiting, with pistol pointed at him. Gutman offers Spade $10,000 for the Falcon, Spade however is more interested in turning someone over to the police for the murders of Archer and Captain Jacoby, suggesting Wilmer. Cairo and Gutman agree, and disarm and knock Wilmer out.

As the morning breaks, Spade instructs his secretary to bring the package that contains the statue. Gutman inspects the Falcon and discovers it’s fake and Wilmer escapes. Cairo and Gutman decide to continue their quest for the real Maltese Falcon. After they have left, Spade calls the police and tells them where the men are.

Spade then turns his attention to Brigid. Spade tells her that he knows she killed Archer to frame Thursby. Brigid confesses and begs Spade to not give her up to the police, Spade is unmoved and turns her over to the cops.

Why I Love The Maltese Falcon (1941): One of the coolest film noirs around, The Maltese Falcon has everything fans of detective stories, femme fatales could want. Sweet trench coats and fedora hats, check. Beautiful and deceiving women, check. Lots of smoking and drinking, check and check.

The film is shot with the shadows being characters by themselves. Every scene has a darkness to it and gives the film a sinister vibe.

Humphrey Bogart would perfect his on screen persona in 1941. He starred not only in this picture but became a big star earlier in the year with another noir classic, High Sierra. When you think of private eyes in the 1940’s your mind subconsciously is picturing Humphrey Bogart.

Mary Astor plays the femme fatale to perfection. Her sultry line readings with a hint of innocence and deceit would lay the ground work for other noirs and female characters like Barbra Stanwyk’s Phyllis Dietrichson.

John Huston made his directorial debut with The Maltese Falcon but his attention to detail made him one of the best directors in the 40’s and 50’s with expert blocking and pacing, The Maltese Falcon is a masterclass in suspense.

The Maltese Falcon soars on the wings of stellar casting, impeccable direction and a murder mystery that keeps you guessing until the end.

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 5 1975-1978

Part 5: In Which Our Hero Polishes HIs Sound, Falls in Love with a Bond Girl and Other Musings of a Rock ‘n’ Roll Superstar

It wasn’t official, but The Faces were for the most part broken up. With Ron Wood being on “loan” to The Rolling Stones the writing was on the wall. Rod Stewart also was looking to change. It started with Britain’s crippling taxes, 83%. Rod decided to pack up and leave for Los Angeles, with his new girlfriend in tow.

Britt Ekland was a beautiful Swedish model/actress who had appeared in lots of films, including The Wicker Man and perhaps most famously as Goodnight in The Man with the Golden Gun. Rod had met Britt through Joan Collins backstage at a Faces gig in 1975. Rod and Britt became tabloid fodder and they ate up the celebrity life style of Los Angeles.

Stewart had grown tired of the sound of his earlier albums. Although Smiler wasn’t a total failure, it did seem like his creative juices were stuck. Stewart had essentially in five years made nine albums with the same musicians and while they were all brilliant he felt that he needed to change his sound.

In comes producer Tom Dowd. Dowd felt The Faces could not be flexible enough to play the sound that Rod was looking for. In fact, The Faces would go on record on not liking Rod’s new approach to music and when they played their final gigs, the only song from Atlantic Crossing they would play live was Three Time Loser.

So Tom Dowd enlisted help from musicians that he had worked with and they were doozy’s. The MG’s, Al Jackson, “Duck” Dunn and Steve Cropper. Dowd also got the Memphis Horns, giving Rod a much more layered and rich sound to his first album released on Warner Bros. Before Stewart hunkered down to really make his sixth studio album, he and his new studio band, headed into the studio and produced three songs.

The MG’s Sessions April, 1975

158. To Love Somebody (Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb)

A hit song for The Bee Gees would seem like an odd choice for the newly formed frontman and studio band but it was right up their alley. From Booker T and the MG’s playing on Stax records and Rod’s soulful voice, it seemed like a perfect get to know each other.

In fact, this song seemed lost until 1990s Storyteller, where Rod says he discovered it in an old jacket pocket. Two other mixes of this song have been found since, each is pretty close to one another, with some added strings to the 2009 extended Atlantic Crossing and it also appears on The Rod Stewart Sessions. Rod losses the backing vocals on the chorus and just sings with his heart on his sleeve. I prefer the Rod Stewart Sessions version as it brings Stewart’s vocals out more and he owns the song.

Grade: B+

159. Holy Cow (Allen Toussaint)

First released by Lee Dorsey in 1966 in a much more big band style, which you should seek out. Rod funks it up and speeds it up. And in doing so freaking crushes it. I am not sure if this was ever intended for Atlantic Crossing or more of just a jam and putting something on record to see how it sounds, but it doesn’t matter, I love it. The fun bass line, and Stewart’s fun reading and phrasing make this song an absolute winner.

Plus, bonus points for Stewart yelling, “Shit!” At the end.

Grade: A

160. Return to Sender (Otis Blackwell, Scott Winfield)

When you think of Return to Sender your mind goes to to Elvis and his movie Girls! Girls! Girls! And you would be right. An early rock ‘n’ roll classic from the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll.

Stewart had covered Presley before and here the bass line carries it again. Stewart decides to have a more laid back reading of this song. It is lazy and fun. Rod has grown musically since his Jailhouse Rock days of The Jeff Beck Group, but it totally works here.

Grade: B+

The early returns on our Hero’s new sound were extremely positive. Rod, Tom Dowd would spend the three months putting together a new sound for Stewart and bringing him closer to the sound he had always craved.

Atlantic Crossing August 15, 1975

161. Three Time Loser (Rod Stewart)

“How dare you have a party, In a Chelsea basement, when an poor excited Jezebel said come outside. She felt me up and kissed my face, put her dirty hands down in my pants…” so goes the story of a man three times stricken by venereal disease. Yes, a song about an STD.

Any concern that Rod might lose his wild ways without his Boys from previous records is immediately dismissed on his first song on Atlantic Crossing.

Not only is the music catchy, but so too are the lyrics. They are funny and clever and I am also not 100% certain our Hero is singing the lyrics that are printed in the official music sheet book my dad gave me.

It doesn’t matter, Three Time Loser rocks.

A slightly different mix appears on disc 2 on the deluxe version released in 2009, which Stewart’s vocals are a little more out front.

Grade: A+

162. Alright for an Hour (Rod Stewart, Jesse Ed Davis)

Guitarist Jesse Ed Davis lends Rod a hand in writing Alright for an Hour. An infectious song about not caring if you have a woman when you have “my dog and my car, the best friends I’ve found so far.”

Too many times on Rod Stewart albums his clever writing is over shadowed by the man himself. A lot of his reviews, the “reviewer” is reviewing Rod Stewart the jet setting, blonde chasing superstar, not his incredible catchy and often times heart wearing on your sleeve song writing. On this track he is at his witty best. I am not sure if Britt Ekland approved of this song, but you can’t change the man.

Grade: B+

A different version of Alright for an Hour appears on disc 2 of the 2009 deluxe version. Slightly different lyrics, which aren’t quite as good as the finished product, the meat and potatoes are there however.

163. All in the Name of Rock ‘N’ Roll (Rod Stewart)

Drums and guitars open a song about what it’s like in the day of a rock ‘n’ roll band. From getting high, looking good and causing trouble, Rod touches pretty much all that there is.

Not quite as good as the opening two tracks, All in the Name of Rock ‘N’ Roll, is nevertheless another catchy song that keeps Atlantic Crossing going.

Grade: B

A less polished version with appears on disc 2 of the 2009 deluxe version of Atlantic Crossing

164. Drift Away (Mentor Williams)

A pretty straight forward cover of a song made popular by Dobie Gray in 1973. The best part of Rod’s version is the sudden stop of the chorus after the third verse, where our Hero sings his heart out.

Rod doesn’t bring anything new to the recording, but he does bring his A-game in the voice department which makes it fine cover.

Grade: B

On the 2009 deluxe version disc 2, the mix is slightly different but sounds really close to what is on the original album.

165. Stone Cold Sober (Rod Stewart, Steve Cropper)

Rod teams up with Steve Cropper for a rollicking good time. Rod again flexes his incredible song writing ability to make a song catchy, funny and straight up rock ‘n’ roll. Atlantic Crossing was recorded in part in a “dry county”, meaning no booze. Which I am sure is the inspiration for the song.

Rod has fun with the second verse, which is my favorite on the album;

“Never found a dime in the gutter, always get my best friends drunk, if the president tries to calls me, say “Rodney come on over for lunch, I’d say “Gentlemen excuse me please, but I am busy with my buddies up on cloud thirty-three.”

Grade: A+

166. I Don’t Want to Talk About It (Danny Whitten)

Rod divided Atlantic Crossing into a “fast half” that opened the album and a “slow half”. The second half of the album opens with a stunning reading of the late Danny Whitten’s I Don’t Want to Talk About It. Although Rod ditched the drums for this song, letting the guitars and strings fill the listeners ears with powerful music.

Rod breaks your heart with a haunting reading, phrasing the words in a way that I am sure Danny Whitten would’ve been proud. Rod himself said “this is one of the most poignant songs written in the rock & roll genre.”

Still played at his concerts to this day, it doesn’t leave a dry eye.

Grade: A+

The alternate mix that appears on DIsc 2 of the deluxe version adds more guitar flourishes which take away from the impact of the song, I am glad that Rod and company decided to strip it down.

167. It’s Not the Spotlight (Barry Goldberg, Gerry Goffin)

Longing for a return to the spotlight, Rod sings of wishing for it to shine again him, and how the fame has slipped away.

A mellow guitar and a nice beat of the drums pepper It’s Not the Spotlight which make it catchy but it doesn’t quite deliver the punch of the other songs on the album. Rod is however in top vocal form which makes it an essential listen.

Grade: B

A slightly different mix appears on disc 2 of the 2009 deluxe version, it really just strips the album version of the over produced moments, allowing the guitars to heard more, I prefer this version.

168. This Old Heart of Mine (Lamont Dozier, Brian Holland, Eddie Holland, Sylvia May)

A song that Stewart obviously adores as he loves the line, “this old heart of mine” as he would use it as a place holder for lyrics when he was trying to work through new songs.

On Atlantic Crossing, our Hero slows it down from the Isley Brothers hit, drops a verse and makes it much more romantic and almost as if he wrote a letter and is trying to when his girl back.

Grade: A

In 2009, two more versions of “This Old Heart of Mine” appear on both the deluxe version of Atlantic Crossing and the compilation, The Rod Stewart Sessions. The deluxe version is a more stripped down version, and not quite finished. On The Rod Stewart Sessions, we hear a little background studio chatter and the song then picks up. I actually prefer The Rod Stewart Sessions version as it is stripped down and beautifully sung.

169. Still Love You (Rod Stewart)

A sweet song about losing your love and reminiscing about the good times you had. Rod’s tender reading, and infectious chorus makes this mellow song a winner.

Rod again uses his boyish charm to sell the song,

“Oh darlin, didn’t I promise, I’d never go so far away again, but here I am writing this letter, goodbye to you my love, see you again…”

Grade: B+

A different mix appears on disc 2 of the deluxe version. Again we hear a much stripped down version, some different lyrics and phrasing, with Rod’s voice being front and center. It makes a mellow song mellower, it’s a winner.

170. Sailing (Gavin Sutherland)

If you wanted to have a song to close your night as a performer, it would be Sailing. Longing for someone that is separated by an ocean, Stewart gives an impassioned reading with his heart on his sleeve.

A massive hit in England, it never fully gained traction in the United States. Rod owns this song and it feels like he is singing it to you, or singing it to your love, in words you could never express.

Grade: A+

Two other versions of Sailing appear on both The Rod Stewart Sessions and Atlantic Crossings deluxe version. On the deluxe version, we get basically the same song, but it loses some of the embellishments. But for my money, the version on The Rod Stewart Sessions will give you goose bumps. Almost all the instruments are gone except a few, with Rod pleading his heart out, it is an absolute barn burner.

A couple of songs where lost to us fans, but dug up for the 2009 deluxe release of Atlantic Crossing.

171. Skye Boat Song (The Atlantic Crossing Drum & Pipe Band) (Harold Boulton, Annie MacLeod)

There are many versions of this song, most in a traditional Celtic style. Rod delivers a a hymn style with lots of back up singers and bagpipes and drums.

The song tells the story of Prince Charles Edward Stuart, his journey and how he escaped capture after his defeat at the Battle of Culloden.

I don’t think Rod’s version was released until 2009, but I could be wrong, as I can’t find any other mentions of the song before then. I had heard of it from a totally legitimate website that listed songs that Rod had recorded but were not released, I can’t remember the actual website and I am sure it doesn’t exist anymore.

Anyways, there are two versions of the song on the deluxe version of Atlantic Crossing. I prefer the version on disc 2 as it is just Stewart, no back up singers.

Grade: B

172. Too Much Noise (Early Version of Stone Cold Sober) (Rod Stewart, Steve Cropper)

Rod was working through the lyrics of “Stone Cold Sober” and landed on the chorus, “Too Much Noise”. The music is the same, but the lyrics are totally different. With the first two verses lifted from Stewart’s “True Blue” which both songs open with “Never been a millionaire”. I am sure Rod was trying to get the feel of the song and used lyrics he knew.

“Too Much Noise” is not quite done, in fact it probably was abandoned when Stewart thought of the title “Stone Cold Sober” and what the finished song was about. “Too Much Noise” is a blast however, and it would’ve been fun to hear a finished version, but I wouldn’t replace “Stone Cold Sober” in a million years.

Grade: B

Rod Stewart released Atlantic Crossing in the summer of 1975. The album shot to the top of the UK Albums chart and reached number 9 on the Billboard charts, vindicating Stewart’s desire for a new sound and a new direction.

The Faces were not quite done yet however and embarked on a tour. The last Faces show took place in Minneapolis on November 1, 1975. The other Faces members were not a fan of Stewart’s new sound and Rod was getting tired of making the same sounding album. Their split was inevitable.

Rod wasted no time getting back into the studio. In December 1975, Stewart started work on A Night on the Town. Rod also recorded some of the album in Colorado, my home state at the Caribou Ranch in Nederland.

A Night on the Town June 18, 1976

173. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna Be Alright) (Rod Stewart)

Stewart changed things up for A Night on the Town and opened the album with the “slow half”. The first song on the album is also the first single. The story in which our Hero tries to seduce a virgin and get her “upstairs before the night’s too old”.

Lyrically Rod sings lines that would make you blush and get it banned from the radio, especially “spread your wings and let me come inside.” It did not stop the public form adoring the song as it reached number 1 on the Billboard Charts.

The music is exquisite with a complicated opening which Stewart stated in Storyteller “We spent more time working on the somewhat complicated intro than the song itself.”

Grade: A+

Two different versions of “Tonight’s the Night” appear in 2009, one on the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town” and the other on “The Rod Stewart Sessions”. The opening on the deluxe version we learn that it was originally called “Golden Times” which Rod corrects the engineer by saying “It’s called “Tonight’s the Night”. It must have been a long time because he snaps back,”Well, make up your mind!”

Both versions have a slightly different intro, which Rod was eluding to in “Storyteller”. The opening two verses are nearly identical, with some slight variations on the lyrics, the last verse is completely different as Stewart sings; “Oo, baby when the daylight breaks, I walk you home and ease all your aches, but the sun should turn into rain, we will stay home and do it all again.”

Also these two version omit Britt Ekland’s French cooing for an extended play out by the band.

174. The First Cut is the Deepest (Cat Stevens)

To cover a song and make your own is something Rod Stewart is really great at. The First Cut is the Deepest is such a song. Rod’s version is so well known that when people cover it now they use the Rod Stewart version. On Cat Stevens’ version the chorus goes like this “when it comes to being lucky she is cursed, when it comes to loving me she’s worst, but when it comes to being loved she’s first.”

Rod drops the last part making the song much more heartbreaking. So so everybody else who has recorded it since. Sheryl Crow’s version completely apes Rod’s from the intro to the whole song’s arena ready sing along. But I can see why maybe people do not know Stevens’ version, Rod stated in Storyteller, “As I recall, nobody knew how the song went, apart from myself, so a phone call was made to L.A. and some madman had to go out and buy it, rush back, and play it on the phone with seven guys crowded ‘round the receiver on the other end.”

Stewart sings his heart out and gives yet another world class performance on how to be a rock star.

Grade: A+

Two different versions of “The First Cut is the Deepest” appear on the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town” and another on “The Rod Stewart Sessions”. On the deluxe version the lyrics are slightly different, the opening is more haunting, skewing he guitar for an organ. On “The Rod Stewart Sessions” the production is scaled way back, just Rod and a guitar, it is stunningly beautiful and I implore you to listen to this version.

175. Fool for You (Rod Stewart)

A mid-tempo song in which our Hero leaves his lover behind. Rod excels at these songs. His voice is in top form. I love the guitar work on this track. Rod yet again wears his heart on his sleeve with lyrics like “You’re my everything, but now you’re my end, it may be over, but just before I go, I can make a new start, But I can’t mend a broken heart.”

Grade: A-

176. Fool for You (Alternate Version) (Rod Stewart)

On the deluxe release of “A Night on the Town” a completely different version of “Fool for You” appears. Musically it is similar but the lyrics are not. Rod opens with “Ain’t love a bitch…” which us fans know Stewart will return to in two years on the album, “Blondes Have More Fun”. This version is not quite finished but it is so good lyrically. I love how he ends each verse with more of his under appreciated song writing, “Over and over again, you say that you won’t get hurt again, but here it comes, round and round on a carousel, you wanna get off but you know damn well that you like it.”

Grade: A-

177. The Killing of Georgie (Part I and II) (Rod Stewart)

Stewart’s telling of the murder of a gay friend is one of his most beautiful songs ever. The upbeat style to the song paints a vivid picture of a life gone too soon. The wistful and hopeful nature of the song is replaced with a senseless murder and the song never loses it’s upbeat tempo, which stylistically is a bold choice which makes the song more impactful.

Rod reached a crescendo and a sense of urgency and driving force behind the lyrics. It propels the song to its finish line, breaking your heart, while also making it race with the hope that his friend might survive, the nonchalant way Stewart sings “Georgie’s life ended there, but I ask who really cares?” Gives the listener i peek into the treatment of the LGBTQ community in the late 1970’s.

Part 2 pleads with Georgie to not leave, giving the song one last bittersweet moment.

Grade: A+

The deluxe version of “A Night on the Town” contains a stripped down version of Part 1 of “The Killing of Georgie” and with just a a guitar accompanying Stewart, this song would fit on to any of his early 1970’s album. Listening to the outtakes from Stewart’s career you soon realize he truly had never left his roots behind, he just added flourishes to the songs. In any event, seek this version out it makes a classic song that much better.

178. The Balltrap (Rod Stewart)

If Stewart was reflective on the “slow side” he wastes no time on the “fast side” telling us listeners that he hasn’t left The Faces completely behind. “The Balltrap” refers to a man’s manhood, lusting after a woman who doesn’t reciprocate the lust.

If “Tonight’s the Night” made you blush, then “The Balltrap” will have you in church asking for forgiveness, with deliciously inappropriate lyrics like “the first time I had you up on old Park Lane, you didn’t know my name, even when I came, as I recall, you let me walk home in the rain. You say I’m cute, but tell the truth, it’s my body you want with the red hot juice…” some one get the fire extinguisher!

Grade: A-

179. The Balltrap (Alternate Version) (Rod Stewart)

The deluxe version of “A Night on the Town” contains an unfinished version of “The Balltrap” with different lyrics, instead of being overtly sexual, this version is more about our Hero being tricked by a “big old girl who said do you wanna dance?”

It’s not quite finished, but it’s really funny.

Grade: B

180. Pretty Flamingo (Mark Barkan)

Manfred Mann scored a hit with “Pretty Flamingo” in 1966, Rod decides to lose some of the poppy-ness of the original, changing into more of a boogie.

It is fun, light song that I will never listen to without my mom saying this to me one day when she was riding with me in my car and “Pretty Flamingo” came on, and my mother said “I saw a male stripper perform to this song.” Um barf mom.

Grade: B

The deluxe version of “A Night on the Town” contains an alternate mix to “Pretty Flamingo” which is nearly identical.

181. Big Bayou (Gib Guilbeau)

Horns and violins pepper Stewart’s cover of a Cajun favorite, in fact Rod’s mate Ronnie Wood cut it the year before on his solo album, “Now Look”.

Rod’s version is more driving and goes without saying sung better as well. Wood has fun with it, but I think Rod’s band is tighter and sounds better.

Grade: B

A nearly identical version of “Big Bayou” that isn’t finished also appears on the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town”

182. The Wild Side of Life (Arlie Carter, William Warren)

Hank Thompson released “The Wild Side of Life” in 1952, as a country song. Stewart dirties it up nicely and adds a nice southern boogie to the song with fighting guitars.

And who can’t love the chorus “I didn’t know God made Honky Tonk Angels, I might have known you’d never make a wife, you gave up the only one that ever loved you, and went on back to the wild side of life.”

Rod transforms the song from heartbreaking to a fun bar sing along. You should listen to Thompson’s original to hear the contrast. It is quite eye opening.

Grade: A+

“Wild Side of Life” has a nearly identical alternate mix version that appears on the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town”.

183. Trade Winds (Ralph MacDonald, William Salter)

There are very few Rod Stewart songs I dislike, even fewer that I would skip. “Trade Winds” is my least favorite Rod Stewart song. He sings well, but the lyrics are dorky, the song is overproduced, and the wailing of the back up singers drive me crazy…some people like it, I am not one of them.

Grade: F

The alternate version of “Trade Winds” is not as intrusive as the finished product on the plus side it ditches the obnoxious back up singers, but I still am not a fan. If you want to compare the two, you can find it on disc 2 of the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town”.

Stewart had a few songs trickle out of his A Night on the Town sessions, some from 1976, and one that was lost until it was unearthed, and it is a doozy.

184. Rosie (Rod Stewart)

Of all the songs regulated to the b-side of a single and a missed opportunity for it to be on an album, “Rosie” to me is the biggest miss. How a song about our Hero running away with a woman named Rosie with a lively band, funny lyrics with my favorite being “but no more head behind the bicycle shed, I’m getting married on a state welfare!”

Every time, I hear “Rosie” I rack my brain with the question “how in the world was this left off the album and the dredge that is “Trade Winds” make the cut. Oh, well with modern technology I can add it to the proper album and leave “Trade Winds” off.

Grade: A+

Two more versions of “Rosie” pop up on the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town” and “The Rod Stewart Sessions”. On the deluxe version, the lyrics are still being worked on, with it almost resembling the finished product.

My favorite version is the acoustic version on “The Rod Stewart Sessions” where the song loses the big band feel, leaving behind just Stewart singing his heart out with a guitar. Chills!

185. Get Back (John Lennon, Paul McCartney)

Rod contributed to the soundtrack of an odd film where stitched together footage from World War II is shown with covers of Beatles songs. The critics hated the film, the soundtrack did not fair much better. Rod was singled out however as delivering a winning version of “Get Back”.

Rod wasn’t a fan though, when it appeared for the first time on a Rod Stewart collection all he had to say was “What’s this doin’ ere?”

Grade: B+

An alternate take of “Get Back” appears on the deluxe version of “A Night on the Town”.

186. Share (Rod Stewart)

Wow. Another song written by Stewart that was strangely left of the album and I had to endure over 20 years of “Trade Winds”. You see I started really getting into Rod Stewart around 1988 when I was seven and I only had what he had released to that point, it would not be until 2009 “Share” was released to the delight of this Rod Stewart fan.

I keep harping on Stewart’s writing because he doesn’t get enough credit, take this nugget from our Hero “Someone else, there may well be, who could steal your heart away but in your heart she was the only one”

Just like the producer at the end of this song, “ya, lovely!”

Grade: A+

A Night on the Town was another Rod Stewart hit. Reaching number 1 in the UK and number 2 here in the States. Selling over 3 million copies in those two countries alone. Stewart was riding high. I am sure in his eyes he made the right decision to leave The Faces and his old way of making records behind. I agree with Stewart as well. His sound is more polished and his albums were starting to have much more depth. His Mercury days are fondly remembered for a reason, but Rod would continue to evolve and continue to make hit records.

Rod jumped right back into writing songs and recoding in the studio, in between world tours. Rod would record his next album, Footloose and Fancy Free from late 1976 to early 1977.

Footloose and Fancy Free November 4, 1977

187. Hot Legs (Rod Stewart, Gary Grainger)

Rod had ditched (that’s a little harsh) Britt Ekland and the format of his last two albums for a more straight rock ‘n’ roll album. No longer divided into two halves, Stewart dives into funk and hard rock.

Hot Legs was my favorite Rod Stewart song for a long time. It’s funny, pure rock ‘n’ roll of fighting guitars and with new drummer Carmine Appice a really driving beat.

Rod’s sense of humor is on full display. With the opening of the song gets you in the right mood, “Who’s that knockin’ on my door, it’s gotta be a quarter to four, is it you again coming ‘round for more?”

Grade: A+

An early take of “Hot Legs” appears on “The Rod Stewart Sessions”. It’s nearly identical with a slightly different mix and ends more abruptly.

188. You’re Insane (Rod Stewart, Phil Chen)

The funk and rock are on full display on “You’re Insane”. I don’t want to make any assumptions, but this song seems to be calling out Britt Ekland. She and Rod had a very public and nasty split. She sued him saying she is responsible for his new wealth…

Rod is nasty to the woman on question on the track, but the catchy music and chorus make this track a winner.

Grade: A-

189. You’re in My Heart (The Final Acclaim) (Rod Stewart)

The sing along to end all sing alongs. Rod sings sweetly and gently to the love of his life. It is up to the listener if that love is a woman, or football (soccer). I think it’s both.

Stewart name checks his favorite clubs in the song, but my favorite bit is “the big-bosomed lady, with the Dutch accent who tried to change my point of view.”

I adore this song and is always a highlight live.

Grade: A+

An acoustic version of “You’re in My Heart” appears on “The Rod Stewart Sessions”

190. Born Loose (Rod Stewart, Gary Grainger, Jim Cregan)

The wistful “You’re in My Heart” gives way to Stewart declaring he is not going to be faithful because he was “Born Loose”. This song feels like another response to Britt Ekland, who wanted to marry Stewart. Stewart had other ideas, in fact he told reporters in 1976, “Britt and I will never marry. I value my freedom. Britt is closer than any woman has ever been to me, but there is no question of marriage.” (I don’t know which newspaper this came from. It was in a poster book my dad gave me of Rod Stewart. When I asked my dad where he got the newspaper clipping from, he couldn’t remember.) Britt was not amused and told Midnight “It was very hurtful to hear Rod talk about not marrying me.”

Yikes.

Grade: B+

191. You Keep Me Hangin’ On (Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier, Eddie Holland)

Rod took The Supremes monster hit and adds some sinister music to it. By doing this he strips it down to its emotional core.

Stewart also slows it way down, giving the song an organ intro that seems at home with the Phantom of the Opera. When the song kicks into gear it is a heavy rock song sung with gusto by Stewart. It might not be for everyone, especially with The Supremes version so etched into our minds.

Stewart delivers a hell of a performance, give the song a chance, it’s a brilliant cover.

Grade: A

192. (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don’t Want to Be Right (Homer Banks, Carl Hampton, Raymond Jackson)

Stewart revisits a song that he first tried with The Faces that was to appear on “Ooh La La”. It didn’t make the cut.

A piano tinkle opens the song and it serves as a nice one-two punch with “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”.

Rod again is in top vocal form and you can tell by his singing that he adores this song. I don’t think it is quite as good as “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” but it is powerful. You should seek out the live version of this song that appears on “Absolutely Live: Deluxe Edition” it is awesome.

Grade: B

193. You Got a Nerve (Rod Stewart, Gary Grainger)

Another haunting break up song, sung with emotion and hurt by Stewart. If “Born Loose” and “You’re Insane” are hateful responses to his break up with Ekland, “You Got a Nerve” looks back more remorsefully at a crumbling relationship.

You can hear the hurt in Rod’s voice when he pleads, “Go away, go away, please please go away, I loved you once I don’t love you now, please please go away…”

Grade: A-

194. I Was Only Joking (Rod Stewart, Gary Grainger)

Two of Rod Stewart’s best written songs are on Footloose and Fancy Free. The previously mentioned “You’re in My Heart” and the absolute show stopper that is “I Was Only Joking”.

Conjuring up images of growing up, falling in love and just hanging with your friends is something we all relate to. Our Hero puts it into a wonderful song that has him”pouring his heart out in a song”.

This song touches me in my heart in a way I could never fully explain. A lot of my past loves and and I am sure my wife heard from me many times, “I was only joking”. When I think about my early life and where I am now, this song is always playing in the background of my slide show. I relate to it so much, with lyrics like, “now you ask me if I’m sincere, that’s the question that I always fear…”

Grade: A+

An acoustic version of “I Was Only Joking” appears on “The Rod Stewart Sessions”.

If A Night on the Town signaled the “new” Rod Stewart, Footloose and Fancy Free fully embraced it. The United Stated fully embraced this album as well as it sold over 3 million copies here alone. It soared to number 3 in the UK and number 2 on the Billboard Charts.

On The Rod Stewart Sessions us fans were promised a deluxe version of Footloose and Fancy Free. So on that compilation only one unheard song from those sessions was put on the album. We never got it due to supposedly weak sales of the deluxe versions of Atlantic Crossing and A Night on the Town. And while the song that was found is brilliant it wouldn’t be until 2021 that we would hear some of the promised songs.

195. Innocent (The Killing of Georgie Part III) (Rod Stewart)

Rod continues the journey of his friends death, this time detailing the other side, the murderer Billy’s trial. Rod details Billy’s plead of innocent with a driving rock beat, forgoing the acoustic feeling of the original “The Killing of Georgie”.

Another song I would love to have heard in its finished version, as the song as it appears on “The Rod Stewart Sessions” is somewhat drowned out by Appice’s drums, which Andy Zax explains they couldn’t bring Rod’s vocals up anymore.

It doesn’t matter though as the song is still brilliant.

Grade: A

196. You’ve Really Got a Hold on Me (Smokey Robinson)

A winning cover of Smokey Robinson’s 1962 hit. Here Rod Stewart’s band is playing restrained and in control with Rod’s vocals matching the performance of his band.

Rod would cover this song again over 30 years later, on his album Soulbook.

Grade: A

197. Honey, Let Me Be Your Man (Rod Stewart)

A super cool funky rock track that is so close to being finished. “Honey, Let Me Be Your Man” has a catchy chorus with some clever lyrics.

I feel like dancing every time the chorus starts, “Honey, let me be your man, do the best that I can.” It just has such a fun vibe to it. Oh, what might have been…

Grade: B+

198. Lost Love (Rod Stewart)

Rod returns to a bitter, jilted lover in “Lost Love”. Rod explains that he doesn’t need the love of a woman because “she’s gone and I am not too pleased, it doesn’t matter, I’ll move in with someone else by tomorrow.”

“Lost Love” is almost finished, more so than “Honey, Let Me Be Your Man”.

I do love the end verse where after the song and singer become longing and Rod snaps out of it telling us “Fuck her, I can do without her tomorrow”.

Grade: B+

Rod Stewart was riding a wave of highly successful albums, little did he and the public know that he was about to unleash his biggest, most divisive song ever.

Stay tuned for Part 6: In Which Our Hero Sells His Rock ‘N’ Roll Soul to the Disco Devil and Laughs All the Way to Hell and a Number One Smash Hit

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 4 1972-1975

Part 4: In Which Our Hero Loses a Band, but Gains a New Home

Rod Stewart was a superstar. He was making hit record after hit record, not only as a solo artist but also as a member of The Faces. According to several members of The Faces, Rod seemed less interested in the band and more interested in growing his sound.

Stewart was about to embark on a change of country and breaking out as a solo artist exclusively. But before he did that, we have a couple more songs from 1972.

112. Pinball Wizard (Pete Townshend)

Rod was approached by his old producing partner Lou Reizner to appear with the London Symphony Orchestra to take the role of Robert Daltrey in a new production of Tommy. Soon, however Daltrey and Townshend wanted to be more involved, reducing Rod to only his version of “Pinball Wizard”.

It must have left a bad taste in Rod’s mouth as when he was asked about it for his Storyteller album he simply said, “I have no opinion of this rendition of the song made popular by The Who”. Yikes.

Rod is in good vocal form and the music by the Symphony is good, but slightly overbearing.

The song appears on Rod’s first greatest hits album, Sing It Again, Rod.

Grade: B

113. Mother Ain’t Dead (Traditional)

In a really unique album, Rod Stewart and Elton John both help their friend, Long John Baldry on his 1972 album, Everything Stops for Tea. Elton produced the first half and Rod produced the second half.

Rod appears as a guest vocalist on a haunting traditional song that pleads with the listener that, although Mother isn’t dead, she’s just “patiently waiting, for Jesus to come.” Rod helps on the chorus, but his biggest contribution is the amazing banjo that is the focal instrument on the track.

Stewart and John helping Baldry is a sweet gesture, and both men owe Baldry a debt for their careers, in fact John also owes Baldry his life after a suicide attempt.

Grade: B

Whatever reservations Rod had about working as a member of The Faces or a solo artist, he nevertheless did say that he was going to focus on only being a member of The Faces. But the cracks were starting to show. On their 1973 album, Ooh La La, Stewart is not featured as much. In fact, I would go on record saying this is more of a Ronnie Lane album with help from Rod Stewart. It is a short, fun and well made record. And while it doesn’t reach the heights of A Nod is as Good as a Wink… To a Blind Horse it still is a classic Faces album.

Ooh La La, March 1973

114. Silicone Grown (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

As the piano tinkles and the guitar opens Silicone Grown, the song is a down and dirty song about boobs. Yes, a song about a woman lying about breast augmentation opens The Faces’ fourth studio album.

The song is funny and totally tongue in cheek as our hero sings, “Don’t try and tell me it’s what you’ve been eating.” The band is essentially playing a boogie and having a laugh.

*there is an early take of Silicone Grown on the 2015 box set “You Can Make Me Dance…”

Grade: B

115. Cindy Incidentally (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, Ian McLagan)

A wonderful song that also opens with the piano, giving way to the full band. Rod and his lady friend decide that now it’s time to move on. But before they leave, they have one more party.

Rod states in the liner notes of Lead Vocalist that the word Incidentally was a game that The Faces would play. They would try to work the word into all of their conversations. Here he worked it into the lyrics with a wonderful result.

Grade: A+

116. Flags and Banners (Ronnie Lane and Rod Stewart)

The only song that Stewart co-wrote and doesn’t sing on. Stewart does play guitar however and possibly banjo.

A wistful song about longing, a Ronnie Lane trademark, is short and sweet. As soon as you get into the song it ends, leaving you wanting more…just like the lyrics.

Grade: B

117. My Fault (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, Ian McLagan)

Rod and Ronnie team up on this song that would be a precursor to Ronnie’s own solo album in a couple of years. A rocking song about taking the blame for “being born this way.” And with the singers pleading with the listener that he isn’t going to apologize for being themselves, and don’t try to change him, it ain’t going to happen.

Grade: A-

118. Borstal Boys (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, Ian McLagan)

A horn blares, and a hard rock song soon commences as Rod sings about life in prison. The monotony of prison life is highlighted and the stories of the men that are in there. The chorus is a winner;

“See the years roll on by, Such a senseless waste of time, What a way to reform, Call out your number, Who’s the nonconformer? Not me baby”

*There is a early take of Borstal Boys on the 2015 box set, “You Can Make Me Dance…”

Grade: A

119. If I’m on the Late Side (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Lane)

Ronnie Wood’s guitar gets things going on this beautiful song that pleads with his lover that even if he’s late he will be there, “come what may”.

I adore this song. Stewart and Lane are in perfect harmony on this track. The wistful music is trademark Lane. The fun, and self-deprecating lyrics are hallmark Stewart. Making this song a perfect blend of the two.

Grade: A+

120. Just Another Honky (Ronnie Lane)

Although “Ooh La La” gets all the headlines, I think this is Ronnie Lane’s best Faces song. It is so beautifully written and sung brilliantly by Rod.

The song title is a little silly and might have actually hurt it. The song deals with a man who in breaking up with his girl.

The beautiful opening is a verse I can easily relate to, as too I am guessing anyone who has stayed with the wrong person long enough;

“I close my eyes and ignore all the signs, I’m walking ‘round in circles, I’ve closed my ears and believed my own lies, And break the silence always.”

Grade: A+

A couple of Faces songs came out in 1973 that were not included on “Ooh La La” The first was a song that The Faces had no interest in doing as it was a promotional flexi-disc.

121. Dishevelment Blues (Kenney Jones, Ronnie Lane, Ian McLagan, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

This song is an absolute mess. The blues, I guess but it’s more of a drunken “fuck you” to the folks that made The Faces record and release a song for free, in that regards it is brilliant and hilarious.

Grade: D- but a total A+ For the joke they played on everyone who actually listened to it.

122. Jealous Guy (John Lennon)

An awesome cover of a beautiful John Lennon song. This song would not make the cut on Ooh La La, which is shocking. It is a stunner. Rod is a master in conveying pain in a song. His phrasing is second to none and brings a little more heartbreak to the song than Lennon.

Lennon’s version is brilliant, The Faces replace the piano with more of a rock band line up, both versions are brilliant and must be heard.

Jealous Guy first appears on The Faces live album, “Coast to Coast” and it’s great, however to really appreciate how great Rod’s vocals are, seek out the studio version on “Five Guys Walk Into a Bar…”

Grade: A+

123. Pool Hall Richard (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

Released as the A-side single only, Pool Hall Richard is a great rock song in which our hero tries to take down the local pool shark.

The chorus is a stomping sing along, “Pool Hall Richard, kid you’re wicked, we know” that is a catchy little ear worm.

The band is in top form. A driving, fun song is highlighted by Wood’s impeccable guitar work and Rod’s impassioned singing.

Grade: A

124. I Wish it Would Rain (With a Trumpet) (Barrett Strong, Norman Whitfield, Roger Penzabene)

The B-side to Pool Hall Richard is the live recording of The Temptations classic. Another song where Stewart excels at phrasing and making a song his own.

His heartbreak is palpable and in this recording you can hear why Rod is still a hit live, he absolutely crushes this song.

Grade: A

The next single Rod released is a unique one, as he tackles Carole King and the B-side is a Faces song. Maybe both were supposed to be on Ooh La La, I am not sure.

125. Oh! No Not My Baby (Gerry Goffin and Carole King)

The Faces lend a capable hand in Rod’s cover of Maxine Brown’s hit with Rod in top vocal form.

I can’t help to think songs like this were also leading to the downfall of The Faces. Rod was going for a different sound and trying different types of songs. In any event, the song is solid.

Grade: B+

126. Jodie (Rod Stewart, Ron Wood, Ian McLagan)

I love this song. Rod is pleading with his lover that he hasn’t stopped loving her. The drum that opens the song is brilliant and so too is the guitar work by Wood.

I am thinking that this was cut for Ooh La La, but maybe sounded too much like Cindy Incidentally, the chorus once again is incredibly catchy, “‘Cause Jodie I still love ya, Always thinkin’ of ya, Jodie I still love ya, all the while”.

Grade: A-

127. Wyndlesham Bay (Jodie) (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, Ian McLagan)

A different take on the single that was released it follows the same basic structure of Rod trying to reach his girlfriend. And while this version isn’t quite finished and fleshed out, I think I might actually like the chorus slightly more, “Go start over, go take a lover, I’m not for you, I’m gone!”

It is really neat hearing these back to back as you can hear the band finding success and then tweaking it slightly to get a final song.

Grade: A-

Rod’s best friend and band mate Ronnie Wood headed into the studio in 1973, to make his own solo record. Wood got help not only from Rod, but also Mick Jagger who was keen on making Wood a permanent member of some band called The Rolling Stones.

What’s interesting about this album, is that one song on Wood’s album was first given a go during Stewart’s Smiler sessions, but wouldn’t see the light of day until 2009. In any event, Wood’s first album is solid with a helping hand from Stewart on three tracks.

I’ve Got My Own Album to Do, September 13, 1974

128. Mystifies Me (Ronnie Wood)

A slow jam of song that does feel a lot like a Rod Stewart song is by far the best song on a solid album from Wood. The lyrics are heartfelt and wistful, Wood however is not the best singer. But he makes up for it with earnest singing and a catchy chorus.

Of course the chorus is where Stewart shows up, giving it some extra power. I adore it,

“You look so fine and true, no one mystifies me like you do, you look so fine and true, no one mystifies me like you do.”

Grade: B+

130. Take A Look at the Guy (Ronnie Wood)

I believe this song sounds a lot like a Rolling Stones song. It’s easy to see why Jagger wanted Wood. He fit into The Stones’ lineup with ease, even Rod thought that Wood was best fit for the biggest band in the world.

Here, he and Stewart duet for a majority of the song with Wood taking over solo a few times.

I prefer the live version with Rod and Woody that can be found on Five Guys Walk Into a Bar…

Grade: B

131. If You Gotta Make A Fool of Somebody (Rudy Clark)

A slower song that unfortunately Wood kinda stumbles through. Stewart seems to be there to give the song some weight as Wood can’t handle or hit the notes.

The saving grace is of course Stewart and some winning guitar work.

Grade: C

Stewart was on a roll. Most everything he had touched had produced hits. From chart topping hits in four consecutive albums between himself and The Faces, the pressure was on. Rod also said that he was going to focus solely on The Faces after Smiler, so it had to be his best. Stewart’s mindset was correct, however Smiler suffered slightly from being too similar and not quite as sharp as Stewart’s previous albums. I also believe Stewart was tiring of the style of music he had been producing for a number of years and wanted to change. Not many people knew but this was the last of Stewart’s Mercury albums. He was going to be with Warner Bros soon, which led to Smiler being delayed.

Also, with the release of The Rod Stewart Sessions, and Handbags and Gladrags, there were many songs left on the cutting room floor, which I think signals Stewart at a crossroad, maybe trying too hard. But make no mistake, Smiler is still a really good album.

Smiler October 4, 1974

132. Sweet Little Rock ‘n’ Roller (Chuck Berry)

Wow. This song is straight fire. It moves faster then lightning, between Ron Wood’s incredible guitar work and Pete Sears non-stop blistering piano, Rod takes a stone cold rock classic and makes it burn.

Stewart’s vocals never waver. They up front and center with an incredible band playing behind him. A great start to the album.

Grade: A

133. Farewell (Rod Stewart, Martin Quittenton)

The final song that Stewart wrote with Martin Quittenton never reached the heights of Maggie May or You Wear It Well. Which is a crime.

Quittention’s guitar playing is a true highlight as he and Rod really hit their stride as co-writers for Farewell.The song deals with Stewart leaving home and trying to make a name for himself. The beginning of this song really sets the mood, “Fare thee well my brother, Please don’t stand in my way, I’m going down to that dirty town, no matter what you say”

I can’t believe this wasn’t a hit, it did not chart in America, it did rise to number 7 in the U.K., where they proved they had better taste in music.

Grade: A+

134. Sailor (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

The heartfelt plea of trying to make it in show business in Farewell, is replaced with a barn burner from Stewart and Wood.

Sailor seems more like a Faces song from in which our hero is running from his wedding day. A driving song with some awesomely clever lyrics, “Such a deadly silence, due to my defiance, the wedding ground to a halt, said I changed my mind, ain’t no use in your trying, so her brother punched me in the throat.”

Brilliant.

Grade: A-

135. Bring It Home to Me/You Send Me (Sam Cooke)

How do you outdo Sam Cooke? You can’t but Stewart totally owns these two songs that he combined into a winning melody.

The first half, Bring It Home to Me is a classic Rod Stewart interpretation. He sings the hell out of it. Stewart slows things down with the second half, but the song never loses its power.

Grade: A+

136. Let Me Be Your Car (Elton John, Bernie Taupin)

A rave up of a duet featuring Elton John. The song starts at 100MPH and never lets its foot of the gas. Stewart and John are great here, with energy to spare, with Elton supplying the chaotic and fun piano.

I do wish Rod and Elton did more songs together. The few times they did, they had fun and it comes through in the recordings.

Grade: B

137. (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Man (Gerry Goffin, Carole King, Jerry Wexler)

There are two songs of Rod Stewart’s that I have trouble listening to. His cover and gender swap of (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Man, ranks as one of my least favorite Rod Stewart songs.

I am not sure why Rod decided to do this, arrogance? Or why the hell not? It’s not that he doesn’t sing it well. It just doesn’t work. I feels overproduced on the album and takes the fun out of the whole album. Listening to it again for this article reminds me why I just can’t get into it.

Grade: F

138. Dixie Toot (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

Smiler picks right back up with my favorite song on the album. The New Orleans flavor and influence on Dixie Toot, is infectious. The horns, the rev-up by the band, Stewart’s passionate performance all work. My favorite part is the start of the second verse where the song all comes together in a beautiful chaotic way.

“I’m gonna lose control of my powers, I might even lose my trousers, Smash some glass, act like trash if I want”

Grade: A+

139. Hard Road (Harry Vanda, George Young)

Rod sings another song about leaving home and not giving a damn what his family thinks. Hard Road is another song that comes at you hard and non-stop. Again incorporating female back up singers, it can’t quite reach the heights of Dixie Toot, but it is a hell of a good time.

Grade: B

140. Girl From the North Country (Bob Dylan)

Rod covers Dylan again, and sings it better than Dylan again. Dylan shines once again as a lyricist taking you on a wonderful journey about a woman that he left “in the north country fair”.

Vivid pictures are conjured in a beautiful song. Rod sings with heartbreak and conviction.

Grade: A

There is an alternate take of this on The Rod Stewart Sessions that loses the airplane and other embellishments out. I prefer this version, Grade: A+

141. Mine for Me (Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney)

The second single from Smiler was a song written for Rod by Paul McCartney and Linda McCartney. This actually charted in America, at 91.

The song is a sensitive tune with Rod’s vocals hitting the right temperament. He doesn’t over sing the song he just goes with the flow.

Grade: B

As mentioned above, the Smiler sessions produced a lot of songs that did not make the cut. It feels that Rod was worried about how he could possibly follow up his two chart topping albums while growing as an artist. This is my opinion only, but I think Stewart was conflicted in these recordings. Between showing loyalty to his friends and band mates, to changing the sound of his music into something more polished put him at odds with not only himself, but also The Faces.

142. Think I’ll Pack My Bags (early version of Mystifies Me) (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

There are quite a few songs, that we as fans have asked the question out loud, “How in the hell did this not make it on the album?”

Think I’ll Pack My Bags is one of those songs. The music, the lyrics are so good and delivered so well, that I am not sure why Stewart abandoned it with maybe 10% more work needed to make it complete. And I will say it because it is true, Rod had something brilliant here and even with it not quite done easily eclipses Ronnie Wood’s “Mystifies Me”. Wood’s version on his album is solid, but he can’t sing or write lyrics like Rod Stewart.

Of all the songs that did not make the cut on Smiler, this one hurts the most.

Grade: A+

143. So Tired (Rod Stewart)

Rod pleads with the listener, that he is just tired and wants to go home. This might be how Rod felt at this point in 1973-1974. Tired of being a part of a band, tired of trying to make his best album, tired of fighting with his girlfriend.

I can relate, I actual sing this chorus when work drags on, “I am so tired I just want to go home.”

The song is slow, longing and didn’t really fit the vibe of Smiler.

Grade: B

144. You Put Something Better Inside of Me (Gerry Rafferty, Joe Egan)

In the same vein as “So Tired”, it seems that Rod had a different idea of what Smiler, was going to be. As a lot of the songs that were cut had a much more slower, folky vibe to them, at some point he abandoned the original vision of Smiler and went for a more hard rock version.

Here we find our hero praising the woman he loves with some slightly over-indulgent backup singers.

Grade: C+

145. Every Time We Say Goodbye (Cole Porter)

Recorded at some point in 1973 with the idea of it appearing on Smiler, Rod takes an American Standard (well before 2002’s It Had To Be You…) strips the big band with a rock band, changes his voice every so slightly and gives one hell of a performance.

Grade: A+

146. Missed You (Rod Stewart)

If at first you don’t succeed try again with the same music, but change the lyrics. Rod repurposes “So Tired” with a song of focusing solely on how he lets his lady friend down continuously. The narrator is pouring his heart out to a stranger waiting for an airplane.

Our hero pleads with her to return, but she isn’t moved by his heartfelt message.

Stronger lyrically and more focused, it paints a vivid picture of heartbreak. The end is beautiful with Stewart taking the role of the stranger and giving advice.

Grade: A

147. Crying Laughing Loving Lying (Labi Siffre)

A recent hit for Labi Siffre, Rod makes it a little rougher. Siffre’s version is a little more mellow with him singing like fine wine.

The lyrics are simple but wonderful and thoughtful and that’s why the song works.

Grade: B+

With the release of Smiler, Stewart said that he was now going to be just a member of The Faces. And while he did sign a solo contract with Warner Bros. I actually think he gets a bum rap for the collapse of The Faces. Truth be told, they were drifting apart for years. Ronnie Lane perhaps the most sensitive of the group left first in 1973. Lane was against having a “lead singer” and when Rod’s solo career blew up, he had had enough.

Also, music critics and even members of The Faces accused Stewart of saving his best songs for his solo efforts. As more and more songs have been unearthed and found, I believe this to be false. The box set, Five Guys Walk Into a Bar…, released in 2005 proves this. Why some songs did not make onto a Faces album, I do not know. With Lane gone, they did record enough songs for a new album. The Faces replaced Ronnie Lane with Tetsu Yamauchi, who had also replaced bassist Andy Fraser in the band Free.

The Last Faces Sessions 1974-1975

148. You Can Make Me Dance, Sing or Anything (Even Take the Dog for a Walk, Mend a Fuse, Fold Away the Ironing Board, Or Any Other Domestic Shortcomings) (Rod Stewart, Kenney Jones, Ian MacLagan, Ronnie Wood, Tetsu Yamauchi)

The Faces were struggling to stay together but they hadn’t lost their sense of humor. As evidenced by the longest song title to ever chart in the U.K.

The song itself is brilliant. Our hero explains that no matter what happens, the woman he is with makes him happy and is all that he needs. “I can be a millionaire, honey when you’re standing there.” Catchy, lovely and the last official single by The Faces.

Grade: A

149. As Long as You Tell Him (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A lazy, beautifully played song. The lyrics are simple, yet they totally work. Rod repeats, “Be sure that you tell him, that I was never your fool” before he launches into the winning chorus, “ ‘Cuz I’ve overcome worse problems than you”.

That’s the whole song, and it totally works.

Grade: A-

150. Come See Me Baby (The Cheater) (Rod Stewart, Ian McLagan, Ronnie Wood)

If you want evidence that Stewart did not hold back on songs for The Faces, look no further than Come See Me Baby (The Cheater).

After a woman’s man cheats on her, our hero pleads with her to come and see him. “If you’ve lost the man you’ve loved, come and see me baby, ‘cuz I’ve lost the woman I love and I feel lonely.”

The lyrics are so wonderful, accompanied by some restrained playing by The Faces make this one of their best that you might not have heard.

And if you want even more evidence that Rod Stewart is a brilliant lyricist, here’s the proof, “Although love can tear your soul apart, you’ll always get a second chance, so if a cheater breaks your heart, lay it on me baby”

Grade: A+

151. (If Loving You is Wrong) I Don’t Want to Be Right (Homer Banks, Carl Hampton, and Raymond Jackson)

A soul song that was a hit in 1972 by Luther Ingram, Rod and The Faces tackle it by removing some of the funk/soul and replacing it with more of a slow rock jam.

Stewart is in fine vocal form and he must love this song. He tried it again, in 1977 on his solo album, Footloose and Fancy Free, but we will tackle that later.

Grade: B

152. Open to Ideas (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, Ian Maclagan)

Lost to the world until the aptly titled greatest hits package, Good Boys…When They’re Asleep. Recorded in the last Faces session, the song is almost finished, with Rod singing and playing the role of producer as he calls out instructions during the runtime.

Another mellow song that meanders as Stewart pleads with his girl to wait for him to call. The lyrics are not quite finished, the chorus is there and the rest of the song doesn’t seem far behind.

Grade: B

153. Hi-Heel Sneakers/Everybody Needs Somebody to Love (Robert Higginbottom) (Solomon Burke, Bert Burns, Jerry Wexler)

With a reworking of the blues standard, The Faces change the order of the verses, speed it up and have a little more fun with the song, not to be outdone the launch right away into the R&B classic, Everybody Needs Someone to Love. By upping the tempo of Hi-Heel Sneakers, it melds perfectly with Solomon Burke’s version.

The Rolling Stones have a popular version of Everybody Needs Somebody to Love, and it’s just my opinion, but doesn’t reach greatness of Burke’s original, and The Faces version is more fun.

Grade: A-

154. Gettin’ Hungry (Brian Wilson, Mike Love)

A Brian Wilson song that The Faces do so much better. While The Faces follow the basic structure of the song, it has much more energy. It also feels more like a Faces song than a Beach Boy song, on the prowl for a woman, “Gettin’ Hungry, searchin’ for my kind of woman”.

Grade: B

155. Rock Me (Ian MacLagan)

Claps and a rocking guitar open a driving song sung with gusto by Rod Stewart. Of course the song is about sex, “Honey, won’t you rock me all night, on the midnight trampoline, baby rock me all night, all night on my back.” (I think that’s what Rod is singing. The song isn’t quite finished and Rod sometimes will mumble or hum lyrics to see how they fit)

I wish they finished this song. One, I am pretty sure it is the only song Ian MacLagan wrote by himself. Two, Rod and the band are totally into it and it comes through in the recording. Oh, what might have been.

Grade: A-

156. I Can Feel the Fire, Live 1975 (Ronnie Wood)

On Ronnie Wood’s solo album, Mick Jagger and other Rolling Stones lent him a hand on several tracks. When Wood played them with The Faces, Rod took the Jagger part.

Released on Five Guys Walk Into a Bar… it also shows up on the concert film, “The Faces: Final Concert”

Electrifying guitar is a highlight, so too is the infectious chemistry.

Grade: B+

With those final trips to the studio and concerts, The Faces slowly, but not surprisingly went their separate ways. The first to leave was Ronnie Wood, who joined The Rolling Stones and became a permanent member, and Rod Stewart’s solo career was too big and successful to ignore. The Faces were no more. Rod also changed the sound of his music and his home. Stewart left England, for the United States. HIs next album would embrace the sound of the soul and folk.

Stay tuned for Part 5: In Which Our Hero Polishes His Sound, Falls in Love with a Bond Girl and Other Musings of a Rock ‘n’ Roll Superstar.

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 2 1968-1970

Part 2: In Which our Hero Joins a Band or Two and Makes His Mark as a Solo Artist

UNITED KINGDOM – APRIL 01: BBC TV CENTRE Photo of Jeff BECK and Ron WOOD and Rod STEWART and Mickey WALLER and Ronnie WOOD and Jeff BECK GROUP, The Jeff Beck Group – Ron Wood (Ronnie Wood), Jeff Beck, Mickey Waller, Rod Stewart – posed, group shot (Photo by Ivan Keeman/Redferns)

In 1967, Rod Stewart was struggling to get recognition as a vocalist. He had been in several bands that failed to gain any traction. That all changed when he met Jeff Beck, guitarist extraordinaire according to Rod, sometime in 1967. They soon would form a band with Rod’s soon to be best mate Ronnie Wood and drummer Mickey Waller, dubbing themselves, The Jeff Beck Group.

Their first gig was March 3, 1967 to which Rod called a “24-carat disaster”. Stewart opined that they were not ready and it showed in their performance. Legend has it that it was so bad that Ian MacLagan pulled the plug on The Jeff Beck Group.

They would soon get their act together and release one of the most influential albums of all time, Truth.

Released in July of 1968, Truth caught lightning in a bottle with the members of the band at peak form. Since this a Rod Stewart series I will only review the tracks he appears on, even if it is just backgrounds or in the rare instance he plays an instrument other then his throat.

Truth, July 1968

29. Shapes of Things (Jim McCarty, Keith Reif, Paul Samwell-Smith)

How do you open an album? With a kick ass blues/heavy metal cover. Rod sounds so confident as soon as he steps up to the microphone, which is a huge step up from his singles in the early part of the decade. It’s as if he needed the backing of a great band to realize his potential. Waller’s drums are a driving force throughout its three short minutes. And the solo by Beck is masterful.

I adore this song.

Grade: A

30. Let Me Love You (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

A song written by Stewart and Beck shows off both men’s talent, but not to be overlooked is Ronnie Wood’s driving bass that gives depth throughout the song. The song is a blast, one misstep is having Beck sing some of it. This seems to be Mickie Most’s idea, the producer on the album. And while Beck isn’t horrible, he is no Rod Stewart and it takes some of the greatness of the song away.

Grade: B+

31. Morning Dew (Bonnie Dobson)

The opening of “Morning Dew” slows things down. The guitar work on this song is brilliant, Stewart sings with gusto and emotion.

It cranks up and morphs into a nice groove. Although not the strongest song on the album, it still packs a wallop.

Grade: B

32. You Shook Me (Willie Dixon, J.B. Lenoir)

Early in his recording career, Rod tried his hands at blues many times. He finally got it right with “You Shook Me”. When I think of blues, I think of songs like this. The breakdown at the end is a master class in playing guitar.

Incredible band, incredible vocals lend to one gobsmack of a song.

Grade: A

33. Ol’ Man River (Jerome Kern, Oscar Hammerstein II)

Remember when in 2002 the critics and some fans were shocked when Stewart tackled The Great American Songbook? Well he was tackling these songs since he was recording music. Now a big difference, obviously is this is geared more to hard rock and less of a show tune.

But Rod’s reading is stunning and beautiful in a “let’s dirty this song up” kinda way. Trust me, when you hear this it will leave you breathless.

Grade: A-

34. Rock My Plimsoul (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

A theme on this album is Beck and Stewart reworking several blues standards into a version of their own. The most successful of these is a reworking of B.B. King’s “Rock Me Baby”. In a clever wink, these songs were originally credited to “Jeffrey Rod” a pseudonym for Stewart and Beck.

Another song were by sprinkling rock and roll with blues overtones fits The Jeff Beck Group’s style so well. Everyone on this track is tight and brings it.

Grade: A

35. Blues Deluxe (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

Another reworked blues standard by Beck and Stewart, this is full blown blues. Rod sings his heart out in this song. He even adds laughs and some overdubbed applause.

Nicky Hopkins makes an appearance here with some wicked piano playing, giving the song even more layers.

Grade: B

36. I Ain’t Superstitious (Willie Dixon)

Awesome. A perfect blend of blues, hard rock and stunning guitar work. It’s clear that WIllie Dixon is a favorite of Rod Stewart. Early in his career Stewart covered him four times, with each one getting better.

This song also has resonated with Stewart as he every once in awhile will play this in concert. It hasn’t lost its bite.

Grade: A+

The next few songs are not on the original release of Truth. They would appear nearly 40 years later on a deluxe version of the album. “I’ve Been Drinking” did make an appearance on Rod’s career spanning box set “Storyteller”.

37. I’ve Been Drinking (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

Another song I freaking adore. It’s bluesy, driving with some awesome drums, and rock and roll all in one stunning 3-minute song, that I can’t believe wasn’t a hit. I do know that this was released as a B-side single. I implore you to find this song and listen to its greatness.

Grade: A+

38. Tallyman (Graham Goldman)

For some reason Mickie Most did not like Rod Stewart. He had Jeff Beck sing a couple of songs that I am not sure he should be singing. Beck is just not that impressive of a singer. He is just there, which makes no sense when you have Rod Stewart.

Anyways, here we get a really poppy song by a band that isn’t a pop band. According to Rod he sings backing vocals on this track, I really can’t hear them, but he says he does in his autobiography, so I will take him at his word.

Grade: C-

39. Hi Ho Silver Lining (Scott English, Laurence Weiss)

Another pop song that Most did not want Rod to sing, he is regulated to the admittedly catchy chorus. But by doing that, it makes the song not as good as it could be.

Beck cannot phrase as well as Stewart and sings the song with no real passion, he just sings it.

Grade: C+

After the success of Truth, which peaked at number 15 on the Billboard Charts, a follow up was quickly ordered.

Born out of that was the 1969 album, Beck-Ola.

Beck-Ola, June 1969

40. All Shook Up (Otis Blackwell)

Taking one of Elvis Presley’s well known songs and dirtying it up nicely, Beck-Ola is off to a fun start. While, it is impossible to top Presley’s version, Beck, Stewart and company make it their own.

They are successful in making it different and relevant.

Grade: B+

41. Spanish Boots (Ronnie Wood, Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

This song is silly. I listened to a podcast Ronnie Wood did that Stewart was a guest on. Wood played this song and both men were not impressed. In his autobiography Rod states “…I wrote the lyrics—a load of old nonsense about about monasteries and tapestries and putting your boots on. I cringe to think of it now.”

Rod is right, the song is not great.

Grade: C-

42. Jailhouse Rock (Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller)

Another Elvis hit that The Jeff Beck Group makes “harder” Beck really shreds his guitar in this song and gives it a lot of personality. Rod sings with conviction and power.

Grade: B+

43. Plynth (Water Down the Drain) (Nicky Hopkins, Ronnie Wood, Rod Stewart)

One of the coolest openings ever, in rock history. A funky, blues number about being alone and fearing death. Easily my favorite song on the album.

A song I think benefits from not having Beck as one of the writers. The rest of the band trying something new with more complicated lyrics make this a show stopper. Rod, of course is crushing it with a powerful reading.

Grade: A+

44. The Hangman’s Knee (Tony Newman, Jeff Beck, Nicky Hopkins, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A song about a man being executed by hanging. Not sure if this really works. There are some redeeming qualities but the song never really gets going or catches on. It tries really hard to invoke images of the gallows but Stewart would soon learn the art of subtle songwriting.

Grade: C-

Beck-Ola was reissued in 2006, containing songs that did not previously appear on the album.

45. Sweet Little Angel (B.B.King)

A heartfelt cover by The Jeff Beck Group, clocking in at nearly 8 minutes, allowing the song to really breathe and get you in a mood of heartache.

Jeff Beck is in his element in this song, shredding guitars so much I picture smoke coming from the strings.

Grade: B-

46. Throw Down a Line (Hank Marvin)

Piano tinkles breakaway for a bluesy/rocky number that invokes bitterness, which can be mishandled if not done by world class musicians, which The Jeff Beck Group are.

Grade: B

Rod Stewart’s time in The Jeff Beck Group had come to a quick end. The group was scheduled to play at Woodstock, but according to Rod, Beck left because he thought his lady was cheating on him, she was not and they never played again, they ended their run with a whimper, instead of a bang.

Not all was lost, as Stewart was starting to find his groove and one fateful meeting with Lou Reizner, head of Mercury Recrods, offered Rod a solo deal. Stewart accepted.

An Old Raincoat Won’t Ever Let You Down or The Rod Stewart Album, November 1969

47. Street Fighting Man (Mick Jagger, Keith RIchards)

Originally planned on being the Little Richard song, “The Girl Can’t Help It” (which I want to hear Rod sing) Rod said he started singing “Street Fighting Man” for some unknown reason. He further elaborates that he loved the lyrics but did not like how they got chewed up in the noise of The Rolling Stones.

I think Stewart is right and his version is much more cohesive and better. I said it, even if Rod won’t he is a superior vocalist to Jagger.

Grade: A

48. Man of Constant Sorrow (traditional, arranged by Rod Stewart)

Stewart changes some of the lyrics here and delivers the goods. Also of note, Rod plays the guitars on this track, which he doesn’t do often but maybe should. They are so good.

A mellow, wonderful song. Stewart is settling into being a folk/rock hero and the first two tracks on his solo album are proof that he had nearly mastered it.

Grade: A

49. Blind Prayer (Rod Stewart)

Rod digs into his experience with The Jeff Beck Group for a heavy blues number written by him. A yells and howls about not wanting to lose his woman and his money.

The breakdown is great as the song bridges to a crescendo. And Rod balls out as the song closes. It’s rough but it works.

Grade: B

50. Handbags and Gladrags (Mike d’Abo)

Beautiful. That’s what I think of when I hear this absolute gem of a track. Stewart is one of the best interpreter of songs ever. He takes a song about longing for love and makes a heartbreaking winner. Stewart allows it to breathe with writer d’Abo on piano and slight drumming by Mickey Waller until it hits the chorus which it explodes with passion.

Rod is in expert vocal form, the band is at top form, an early classic from Stewart.

Grade:A+

51. An Old Raincoat Won’t Ever Let You Down (Rod Stewart)

Looking back at hanging out with your friends is fun. Stewart does this with great affection in his title track of his debut album. I love this song. From the opening strums of the guitar to the bass that follows, everything on this track works.

Stewart paints a picture with his words that transports you to a cold London, drizzling with rain, hanging out with your friends, getting into trobule.

Grade: A+

52. I Wouldn’t Change a Thing (Rod Stewart)

Rod gets help on the vocals here by the previously mentioned Lou Reizner. This song really reminds of Bob Dylan. The way the song plays out as a story with a clear vision. It doesn’t quite stick the landing, but a style was taking shape and it works.

I love Keith Emerson on organ in this song. It brings the song together.

Grade: B

53. Cindy’s Lament (Rod Stewart)

A really bitter song about a woman that ignores Stewart or the subject of this song. Rod doesn’t often let his angry side pop up on records, but when he does he delivers the goods.

The song has a fade out and return that adds to the pulsating drive of its subject.

Grade: B

54. Dirty Old Town (Ewan MacColl)

The changing and love for the town of Salford paints a vivid picture in this amazing cover. Rod was slowly becoming a folk icon with songs like this. One of my most favorite concert moments ever was when Rod put a guitar over his shoulder and played this song to a stunned sold-out crowd in Denver. There is a great YouTube video of this song with Stewart playing guitar, and the whole crowd singing along, which you should seek out.

Grade: A+

After Stewart and Wood left the Jeff Beck Group, Rod was busy with his very own solo record. With that finished, Stewart started accompanying Ronnie Wood to his new gig, as a guitar player for The Small Faces. Stewart would stay upstairs and just listen to them play, which he quickly realized is they needed a lead vocalist.

Steve Marriott had left to form (wink) Humble Pie. The Small Faces however were not too keen on being thought of as a backing band. Stewart eventually won them over and the dropped “Small” from their name and became simply The Faces.

They were formed in October of 1969 and in March of 1970, their debut album, First Step was released. Funny side note, the album cover credits First Step to The Small Faces, even the record company did not know who these boys were.

First Step, March 27, 1970

55. Wicked Messenger (Bob Dylan)

Covering Bob Dylan is an early Rod Stewart trademark. Here with his new band The Faces, they drop “The” from the song title and make it much harder rocking. Dylan’s is a folk song, The Faces cover is not. I think it’s better. It gives the song more bite and not so rambling.

Grade: B+

56. Devotion (Ronnie Lane)

Ronnie Lane is an incredible song writer. As he has proved over the years even before The Faces he was responsible for legendary songs like “Itchycoo Park”. Here it’s a tender ballad that he sings with Stewart. Lane fits nicely with Stewart as he is able to convey emotion the way Jeff Beck never could.

The Faces are often thought of (and rightfully so) as a party band but songs like Devotion prove the lads could be sensitive, reflective and great songwriters too.

Grade: B+

57. Shake, Shudder, Shiver (Ronnie Lane, Ronnie Wood)

After slowing down for one song the boys rip it up again with an original Lane and Wood song that allows the whole band to shine with Stewart and Lane sharing singing duties. Highlighted by a jaw dropping guitar solo by Wood this song rocks. It works better live, which you can find on the 2015 reissue.

Grade: B

58. Stone (Ronnie Lane)

Did you know that Rod was discovered not by singing but by playing harmonica? Although he would never would say it but Stewart is pretty good at it. On this Ronnie Lane sung track Stewart plays not only harmonica, but also the banjo. The song is fun too, it is a perfect Ronnie Lane song.

Grade: A-

59. Around the Plynth (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

Straight up rock ‘n’ roll. The incredible force of this song makes it a winner. Stewart is unmatched in his rock voice, Elton John said he has the best voice in all of rock ‘n’ roll. I am sure John is referencing songs like this. The band fills the speakers with crazy guitar work, a bass that pushes the song forward and a drum beat that is loud and non intrusive and Ian McLagan gets his own solo too.

The best part? The band stops playing and Rod just starts singing again and the whole band starts again. Chills.

Grade: A

60. Flying (Ronnie Lane, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

The boys continue to shine with a rock song about longing for home. Returning home and telling everyone that you spent five years in jail for “being hungry tired and poor.”

Another showcase for Stewart as a vocalist, as I continue to listen to these songs in order, I am amazed how fast Rod gained confidence and become one of the greatest singers of all time.

Grade: A

61. Nobody Knows (Ronnie Lane, Ronnie Wood)

A great collaboration between Wood and Lane is easy to pick out their contributions to the song. Lane’s sensitive lyrics, Woods driving mellow guitar work is easy to fall in love with the song.

Stewart and Lane share singing duties again, with Stewart really elevating his moments. I actually think this song is the turning point for the band. Although Lane is a good singer, he is soon overshadowed by Stewart being superior. I am not slighting Lane as I adore him, but The Faces needed a lead vocalist and Stewart was their man. Stewart and Lane would share the mic a few more times, but not nearly as much as they did on this album.

Grade: A

62. Three Button Hand Me Down (Rod Stewart, Ian McLagan)

My favorite song on the album and my favorite song about a piece of clothing. Lane’s bass is incredible to start the song off. As the whole band joins in, the song about having the perfect suit is purely Rod Stewart, and purely The Faces. No other band or singer can sing a song about a suit handed down to a son by his dad. The cheekiness of the song is great, the band, awesome thorough its runtime.

Grade: A+

LONDON – 1st JANUARY: English group Faces posed backstage at BBC TV’s Top Of The Pops show in 1971. Left to right: Ronnie Lane (1946-1997), Ian McLagan, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood and Kenney Jones. (Photo by Ron Howard/Redferns)

On the incredible box set, Five Guys Walk Into A Bar a couple of unheard rehearsals pop up. I will add them to this list if they are different than what appears on the albums.

63. Evil (Willie Dixon)

Yes this is a rehearsal and it shows. It sounds like it was recorded in a hotel room. Credited as being recorded in 1969, it seems like and sounds like a band trying to feel each other out. That being said there is some merit here and with a better recording the song might have fared better.

Grade: B-

In 2015, another reissue of The Faces albums pops up, but with even more unheard songs. You can find these songs on You Can Make Me Dance, Sing or Anything…

64. Behind the Sun (Kenney Jones, Ronnie Lane, Ian McLagan, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

So how in the hell is this song not on the proper release? Behind the Sun is a rocking song that is incredible. That it took almost 50 years to be released is a shame. It is tighter than most songs on First Step. The only excuse I can think of is maybe totally it doesn’t fit? Or maybe it was recorded and they forgot about it, either way, we have it now and we are better for it.

Grade: A+

If you’re keeping track Rod Stewart has already released four albums in two years. He wasn’t done. A mere three months after The Faces debut album debuted, Gasoline Alley was released. Often regarded as Rod Stewart’s best album, it showcases him as an impeccable songwriter and an ear for songs that he could cover well.

Gasoline Alley, June 6, 1970

65. Gasoline Alley (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A favorite of Rod Stewart and his fans, Gasoline Alley has all the ingredients of a Stewart classic. Loning for home, and romanticizing about it. I love the story on how the song came about, in his autobiography Rod states, “I got the title, Gasoline Alley from something said to me by a girl backstage at San Fransisco’s Fillmore West after a Jeff Beck Group gig. I had been chatting her up and she suddenly announced, “I’ve got to get home, or else my mother will say, ‘Where have you been—down Gasoline Alley?’”

Grade: A+

66. It’s All Over Now (Bobby Womack, Shirley Jean Womack)

A rip-roaring cover that seems so in-different, yet so driving that it totally works. Rod’s vocals again shine which adds to the proceedings backed by a boisterous band I wish he would perform this live again.

Grade: A

67. Only a Hobo (Bob Dylan)

Rod Stewart easily outdoing Bob Dylan on a Bob Dylan song. I have said this many times, Bob Dylan is one of the greatest song writers ever, but not even close to a good singer, I find his style grating, but his words are magical. Stewart does his songs justice, something he still does to this day.

This song about how we treat homeless people is heartbreaking and eye opening and over 50 years later little has changed.

Grade: A+

68. My Way of Giving (Ronnie Lane, Steve Marriott)

Rod covers The Small Faces. He keeps it pretty close to the original but he changes some lyrics like from “tenderness to happiness”, and forgoes the pop-iness of the original. But the spirit remains and so too does a fine song.

Grade: B+

69. Country Comforts (Elton John, Bernie Taupin)

Ironically released before John’s own version, it sticks pretty close to the original. Both are really good. I obviously prefer Rod’s version as his has more emotion to the proceedings, and strips it of the pop song and makes it more folky. Both versions are great, with Rod having a leg up on John’s own song.

And for some reason adds an “s” to the end of Comforts? Maybe it’s just not credited correctly on the album.

Grade: A

70. Cut Across Shorty (Wayne P. Walker, Marijohn Wilkin)

A bluesy/folksy fairy tale in attempt to win the pretty girl in town hand in marriage. Such a fun song that is another song that tells a complete story, and I smile every time I hear it. I love the chorus of Miss Lucy helping Shorty win the race because even though Dan “has all the money and he also has the looks” Lucy chooses love.

Grade: A

71. Lady Day (Rod Stewart)

A hidden gem on an album full of diamonds, Rod is at his most Bob Dylan. Command of the words and phrasing makes this the most unheralded song on this album. It has a lazy, dream like quality that is different than most of the album.

Grade: A

72. Jo’s Lament (Rod Stewart)

This song breaks my heart, and if Lady Day is a hidden gem, I don’t even have an adequate word or phrase to describe this song. I believe this is autobiographical as Rod and his girlfriend Susannah Boffey had a child that was given up for adoption, and I think this song is an apology to her and his child.

It has one of my most favorite lines, in any song ever, “You bore my child and I left you aside, I don’t expect you to forgive, But now I’m not so young and I’m so afraid, to sleep alone for the rest of my days.”

Grade: A+

73. You’re My Girl (I Don’t Want to Discuss It) (Dick Cooper, Beth Beatty, Ernie Shelby)

After two reflective songs, Rod goes vindictive and makes it less of a pop song that Little Richard did. Stewart makes it meaner and heavier, which I really like. The drums keep the proceedings moving along briskly.

Stewart’s ability to restructure songs is on full display here, he would employ this technique on his next solo album too.

Grade: A

Stay tuned for Part 3: In Which Our Hero Wakes Up, Kicks a Woman Out of Bed and Becomes a Superstar

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 1: 1964-1969, The Singles

Here we go again. I know that’s what you’re thinking. Another Rod Stewart article by Ryan. And yes, another one. I am making this one the most complete exploration of Rod Stewart’s output. As I scour the internet, I have seen that Stewart is sometimes largely ignored. As a fan I try and explain to everyone that he might posses the biggest, longest must under appreciated career in music.

With Stewart approaching nearly 60 years of continuously producing and recording music the only question is what will he do next? He has done everything from R&B, folk, rock, disco, The Great American Songbook and just about everything in between.

So the information found in this series of articles will be a breakdown/review of every, yes every song Rod Stewart recorded, released or was a part of. I think I have them all and I think I have heard them all (a big shoutout to Antonio of Rod Stewart FC Pals for sending me hard to find bonus tracks from The Great American “Snorebook” his words not mine.) If there are missing songs, wrong information, or any other musings that you disagree with, please let me know. I want this to be the most complete review of all of Rod Stewart’s songs.

Part 1: Where Our Hero Tries to Find His Voice: The Singles 1964-1969

If you dig enough you will find some truly funny stories from Rod Stewart about his early days of trying to find his way into the music world. From busking in Paris to performing in bands such as Steampacket and Shotgun Express, Rod covered a lot of blues and R&B songs from his heroes. You can hear in his early recordings a young man desperately trying to sound like Sam Cooke. And while the music during this blossoming period is fun, it doesn’t really catch on.

I struggled to find actual dates for a lot of these songs, I do know that Rod’s first solo single is the blues standard by Sonny Boy Williamson, “Good Morning Little School Girl”. In the liner notes to “Storyteller” Rod states that John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin is on bass, how cool is that?

1. Good Morning Little School Girl (Sonny Boy Williamson)

The opening guitar on this blues standard is instantly catchy. Rod states in “Storyteller” that The Yardbirds recorded this song as well, “mere weeks” before he did making his version “fairly useless”. But ignore that and Rod sounds confident and at home with the blues. For a first effort it is pretty solid. Nothing earth shattering but the song is well done and a nice start for our hero.

Grade: B

2. Up Above My Head (Sister Rosetta Thorpe)

Long John Baldry opens the singing on this uptempo number originally released in 1939. Rod and John do a call and answer and the song is bursting with energy. The sound is right and the band is tight. I imagine this is a fun song to play. The song play out goes on a little too long before it picks up again causing the song to lose some momentum.

Grade: B-

3. I’m Gonna Move to the Outskirts of Town (Casey Bill and Roy Jacobs)

Another blues number that Rod attempts with some success. Originally recorded as “We Gonna Move (To the Outskirts of Town)” in 1936, but often changed to I’m. Although it is missing the rough and tumble grittiness of the original, Rod’s version is commendable.

Grade: B-

4. Bright Lights, Big City (Jimmy Reed)

Recorded in 1961 by Jimmy Reed, Rod would tackle this song just three years later, and it is just ok. This is a song I can hear Rod trying really hard on, and without some discipline he over sings some parts with varying degrees of success. It would be another couple years before Rod Stewart, became Rod Stewart and this is a song where he lacks some identity.

Grade: C

5. Ain’t That Lovin’ You Baby (Jimmy Reed)

Another Jimmy Reed classic that Rod tries his hand at. While Reed’s version is vastly superior, Rod pops it up a little bit causing the song to lose some of it’s bite. Rod also over sings this song as well but it doesn’t come across as trying too hard as on “Bright Lights, Big City”.

Grade: C+

6. Don’t You Tell Nobody (Willie Dixon)

Rod gets down and dirty by barking at his lady friend telling her not to tell anyone what they have been up to. Not too effective and the song just seems to shamble along.

Grade: C-

7. Just Like I Treat You (Willie Dixon)

A meandering dip into blues doesn’t really deliver. Where as Rod tried to overdue “Don’t You Tell Nobody” here he tries to tone it down, which makes it not pop. As I listen to these songs again I can’t help but notice Rod is trying to find his voice, which in turn leads to some varying degrees of success.

Grade: C-

8. Mopper’s Blues (Big Bill Broozny)

Easily the weakest song Rod has recorded to this point. It is way over produced. The backing band is distracting and unnecessary. Rod’s version mirrors Muddy Waters’ version not the superior Big Bill Broozny original. Rod also leaves off a couple verses which makes the song a repetitive bore.

Grade: D

9. Keep Your Hands Off Her (Huddie “Lead Belly” Ledbetter, I actually can’t find out if he is the writer of this song. HIs version and his name are the only mentions of this song I can find, if you know please help,)

A really fun ditty that is almost great. Rod has lots of fun with this song telling another man to keep his hands off his “heavy hipped woman”. Why I enjoy this song is I can hear Rod smiling as he sings it. Part of the appeal of Rod Stewart for me has always been “he’s one of the guys”. “Keep Your Hands Off Her” is a perfect example of a song that Rod sings and enjoys.

Grade: A-

10. The Day Will Come (Barry Mason)

A true pop song in an early recording career of covering blues songs. A warning perhaps of armageddon and how the common man is the one fighting the fight. I read that the writer of the song was not too impressed with Rod’s version stating that Rod really did not want to sing it.

If that is true I disagree with both men. It is not earth shattering but Rod sings the song well and the song is effective. And I think Mason is giving his song too much credit. Yes, it is cool lyrically but it is nowhere a song that if it was sung by someone else would make it anything more than Rod did.

Grade: B

11. Why Does it Go On (Barry Mason)

I’m sensing a theme here with Barry Mason and his song writing, but this song is better than “A Day Will Come”. But trading in the fantastical images of the end of the world to an almost Bob Dylan style of song makes it much more effective.

Rod is in top form as well as I think he is starting to find his voice. And although Rod has such a great voice for blues, as you will find out a little later on, possibly his best genre is folk/rock.

Grade: A

12. Can I Get a Witness (Holland, Holland and Dozier)

A Steampacket song that Rod and Long John Baldry trade roles of “Up Above My Head”, where Rod takes over the lead and John is the callback during the song.

It is fun, light and not quite great, but enjoyable.

Grade: B-

13. Baby Take Me (Jo Armstead, Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson)

A true all in Steampacket song with Rod, Long John Baldry and Julie Driscoll all taking the lead at some point. And while I do adore Long John and Julie, Rod is starting to separate himself from them in terms of becoming a lead vocalist and not just part of a band. His charm and vocal prowess cannot be denied in this song and it sines through the speakers.

Grade: B+

14. Oh, Baby Don’t You Do It (Holland, Holland and Dozier)

Long John Baldry takes the lead on this song with Rod regulated to backing vocals. It is slightly over produced and doesn’t stick the landing. John Baldry has a very distinct voice and it is oozing with personality. This song however did nothing for his career.

Grade: C-

15. Lord Remember Me (unknown, I can’t find this writer, possibly a traditional song, again please reach out to me if you know.)

Long John again steps into the lead vocalist role with Rod providing backing vocals. It is a little strange hearing a gospel song from Steampacket, and although lyrically it’s a little different, I am guessing they heard Sam Cooke sing this song at some point. John Baldry’s powerful voice shines on this track. The message is lost on me because I am not the biggest fan of gospel music, the power of John Baldry’s voice cannot be denied.

Grade: B-

16. Shake (Sam Cooke)

The first Sam Cooke song Stewart recorded is a doozy. So much fun and so much energy. Listening to this song you can hear how much Rod loves Sam Cooke. Stewart has alway said he could never sing a Sam Cooke song better so he just tries to make it his own. And while “Shake” sticks pretty close to Sam’s Rod does Sam proud.

Grade: A

17. I Just Got Some (Willie Mason)

A blues song about, well *ahem* sex. Rod is really getting into a groove. HIs confidence is booming and it is conveyed in his delivery. He tones it down when needed and cranks it up when he needs to. I like this song and it moves well, never really slows down.

Grade: B+

18. I Could Feel the Whole World Turn Around (Ray Smith & Tony Colton)

Rod teams with Beryl Marsden (I think?) on this fun ditty that is slightly over produced but nevertheless breezy fun. Maybe that is he determent to the song. It feels safe, not challenging Rod or the band. But it is snappy and catchy.

Grade: B-

19. Come Home Baby (Barry Mann & Cynthia Well)

Rod teams up with P.P. Arnold on a fun track that gives each artist time to shine. Rod opens the song with, “I know just how bad I hurt you” it gives us a glimpse of what’s to come as Stewart is one of the best at phrasing lyrics. I think this is a hidden gem that begs to be heard.

Grade: A-

20. Stone Crazy (Buddy Guy)

Rod slows it way down to blues standard by the wonderful Buddy Guy. It sticks really close to original, but with not quite the same bite. Buddy and Rod both pour their hearts into the song but Buddy’s band is tighter making the song more cohesive. Not bad, but Rod would have more success soon in the blues department.

Grade: C+

21. Little Miss Understood (Mike D’Abo)

A slightly overindulgent song that is also slightly over produced and over sung but the lyrics about a woman who walks the streets to make money is brilliant. It is one song that I wish Rod would try again with a better understanding of lyric phrasing and a tighter overall production. The song is good though and it well worth a listen or two.

Grade: B

22. So Much to Say (Rod Stewart & Mike D’Abo)

Awesome! Rod’s first song writing credit! But, um yeah this song is just there. Rod tries his hand at blues again and the results are the best. Even Rod states in “Storyteller”, “A lousy wavering vocal here causes me to shudder in embarrassment.” I agree with Rod, back to the drawing board.

Grade: D

23. The Blues (unknown, can’t find a writing credit)

A much better foray into the blues by Stewart. The band sounds so much better and it isn’t just a piano like in “So Much to Say”. It’s a rollicking 4 minute blues song with a killer guitar solo. Also, I love that the band stops and lets Rod sing some lyrics with bass and drums before cranking it back up.

Grade: B-

24. Cloud Nine (Barrett Strong & Norman Whitfield)

More fighting guitars gives this blues song a heavy rock feel, Rod would really get into this very soon as a member of The Jeff Beck Group. But he is cutting his teeth here with killer results. Stewart is really coming into his own and would be just a couple of years from superstardom, “Cloud Nine” lays the foundation.

Grade: B+

25. Shock Treatment (?)

Yikes. I guess the big draw here is Frank Zappa produced this. I am glad it is only 1:47, it is a tough listen. It just is too much and too lame.

Grade: F

26. Diamond Joe (?)

Not sure who Rod is trying to sound like at the beginning of the song and I am not sure that it isn’t a joke, but about half way through he settles into a pretty fun rock song. With a funky bass and a driving force “Diamond Joe” is a little rough but fun.

Grade: B-

27. Engine 4444 (Art Wood)

Rod is second fiddle on this song featuring Art Wood. Nothing to write home about, but it is fun. And Rod loves trains, a theme he would return to many times in his career.

Grade: C+

28. In A Broken Dream (David Keith Bentley)

A fun story about this song, I will have Rod tell it to you, again this appears in “Storyteller”. “ This was only meant to be a demo, which I did for a friend in exchange for a new set of carpets for my automobile (he was a car salesman trying to enter the field of rock & roll management-a lethal combination). He said “I only want a guide vocal to show my new signing how it should be sung.” I, of course obliged like a friend. Subsequently, three years later, it was released and became a major hit in Europe. I was conned. Never mind, life goes on.” This is a brilliant song. So good and I hope Rod got the carpets he wanted for his car, he deserves them.

Grade: A+

Stay tuned for part two, In Which Our Hero Joins a Band or Two

Blu-Buried: Design for Living (The Criterion Collection)

Gilda Farrell (Miriam Hopkins) a commercial artist is on a train to Paris. She stumbles upon two sleeping artists, one a painter George (Gary Cooper) and one a playwright Tom (Fredrick March). While they sleep Gilda draws them. This starts a platonic relationship with the men where they agree to live in an apartment together.

Both George and Tom love Gilda, but she refuses to have sex with either of them. When Tom’s play is read and produced in London, Tom leaves. Gilda and George soon can’t resist their budding romance and with one the greatest lines ever, Gilda states, “it was a gentleman’s agreement, but I am no gentleman”.

Tom finds out by telegram that Gilda and George are now together. Tom returns to Paris to find Gilda and George have moved into a penthouse. When Tom finds Gilda alone, they rekindle their romance. George returns and the three must solve their predicament.

Funny, brilliant and a pre-code winner, Design for Living is a must watch. Miriam Hopkins lights up the screen with snappy dialogue and it’s easy to see why she is the object of desire for the two men. The idea of that this film was made in 1933 is mind blowing. With sexual innuendos sprinkled throughout it still packs laughs nearly 90 years after its debut.

Ernst Lubitsch cut his teeth for nearly 20 years before he directed Design for Living and already had a working relationship with Miriam Hopkins a year earlier with the witty Trouble in Paradise. Lubitsch would go on to direct some of the best comedies ever, including a personal favorite To Be or Not to Be. Here he is at comfort moving the film along quite nicely with some great shots, including a crane shot following Gilda and a bunch of school boys up a flight of stairs.

Grade: A+

Design for Living Video Quality

Design for Living boards the Criterion Collection with a pleasing, but not too great transfer. My guess is this film was not well preserved and Criterion did what they could with it.

It does look really great in some moments.The details and the closeups look really sharp. The last third of the film really has blemishes with a scratch present for about 20 minutes and other imperfections that pop up in the frame. It’s a shame that some films were not well preserved by their studios, Design for Living deserved better, the disc is still great but one longs for a flawless transfer that I am sure does not exist.

Grade: B

Design for Living Audio Quality

Design for Living makes it to the back of theater with a robust soundtrack. Although the audio track is only mono, it is crisp. Gone is most of the background hiss that can plague older films. Criterion cleaned the soundtrack up nicely with crystal clear dialogue well heard throughout the runtime.

Grade: A-

Design for Living Bonus Features

Joseph McBride: The Screenplay: A great interview with screenwriter Joseph McBride as he talks about the play and the film including their differences and similarities.

The Clerk: A short, funny segment starring Charles Laughton, directed by Lubitsch from the film, If I Had a Million.

Play of the Week-A Choice of Coward: 1964 British production of Design for Living. It’s introduced by the playwright of Design for Living, Noel Coward.

Selected Scene Commentary: Lubitsch biographer William Paul is on hand to discuss the film, totaling nearly 40 minutes.

Grade: A-

Funny, racy a must watch. Design for Living is a new Golden-Age favorite. I am a fan of Miriam Hopkins. She is funny and charming. Gary Cooper and Fredrick March always bring the goods, put all three together with one of the best directors around and you have a can’t miss blind-buy.

Overall: A-

Blu-Buried: The New Kids

Loren (Shannon Presby) and Abby (Lori Laughlin) are brother and sister. They love their dad, “Mac” MacWilliams (Tom Atkinson) and do a weird obstacle in the morning and punch a bag. He leaves that afternoon to receive an award, but tragically dies on the way home with their mother.

Loren and Abby are adopted by their Uncle Charlie (Eddie Jones) and go to Florida to live with him on his rundown amusement park and gas station.

At school Abby meets Mark (Eric Stoltz) and they start to flirt. Less accommodating to the new kids are a gang of no-good buttheads lead by Dutra (James Spader).

When Abby rejects Dutra he wages war on them and it leads to a showdown at the amusement park.

The New Kids was directed by Sean S. Cunningham (Friday the 13th) and he never fully captures the spirit of that film as The New Kids sorta just drags along. Cunningham also seems bored as he doesn’t push himself at all, where Friday the 13th had edge and a driving force, here he just points his camera at stuff and lets it play out.

The cast is quite good. James Spader delivers a menacing performance that does fill the film with dread. Shannon Presby is fine as the brother and Lori Laughlin is nicely cast as the friendly, pretty girl.

The soundtrack is awful. The opening montage song is a Kenny Loggins wanna be that isn’t catchy or interesting.

The climax is fun but it does take awhile to get there, especially for only a 90 minute film, it feels way longer.

Grade: C

The New Kids Video Quality

The New Kids slug it out on an ok not great transfer from the folks at Mill Creek. I am not sure how much Mill Creek could have done with this film as the colors are not that eye-popping. Most of the film takes place in drab Florida, it does excel in the day time when more light is afforded the film.

Grade: B-

The New Kids Audio Quality

The New Kids bring a 9mm to the gun fight when they needed a shotgun. The film sounds fine with the dialogue coming through clearly but the film again is not that much of a home theater thumper. I don’t blame Mill Creek as the audio mix is just ok for the film anyways.

Grade: C+

The New Kids Extras

No extras to be found on the disc, lame. But the retro packing in the style of a VHS tape from a rental store is dope.

Grade: D

The New Kids Overall

Meh. The New Kids is an ok movie. It struggles with what it wants to be, is it a thriller, a drama or a horror film. Maybe a little of both. The direction by Sean Cunningham is uninspired but the young cast is stellar. Mill Creek’s retro tape release of The New Kids isn’t going to win any awards, but at least it’s on blu-ray. For fans of teen angst drama with some violence.

Overall: C

Show Time: The 5 BIGGEST PLOTHOLES in “The Empire Strikes Back”

“Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back” might be a masterclass in cinema, but even it’s not perfect. After seeing it twice this weekend on the big screen, I can’t help but scratch my head about some of the writing and character decisions in this film.

Now, there are plenty of things I could be pedantic about — like Anthony Daniels’ C-3PO clearly breathing in the background as Han and Leia talk about the “Lando system” — but, for the sake of everyone’s time, I’m going to focus on the five biggest plotholes I noticed this time around.

Are you ready?

To be honest, I made the title click-bait-y on purpose. I wanted to see if this would get any more traction than my previous posts. Really, the title should’ve been “5 Questions I Have About ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ After My 131st Rewatch”.

I am going to be talking about things that I think might be plotholes, but don’t think of it as “the logic in this scene makes no sense, therefore this movie is dumb.” Think of it more as “Hey, George Lucas & Co., I have questions about this.”

So, I’ll pose each possible plothole as a question. Maybe there are explanations out there in the novelization, or other Star Wars media, and I’m just not privy to them. I’ll also try to come up with my own explanations as best as I can.

I also won’t pretend that I’m the first person to think of or share these questions/possible plotholes; there are definitely one or two of these that I know fellow Star Wars fans have questioned before.

Just want to say again that I do love “The Empire Strikes Back.” I’m not trying to hate on it; I’m just trying to pose legitimate questions I have with the universe’s logistics and the character choices, and maybe start some discussions with fellow fans about these questions.

With all that said, let’s dive in:

#1: What exactly was Vader’s plan for attacking Hoth, especially if his main goal was to capture Luke?

This was maybe the biggest question I had coming out of the rewatch this weekend. We see throughout the whole film (and in the Star Wars/Vader comics set before this time period) that Vader is willing to do anything to find his son. So, why would he risk an assault on the Rebel base when he’s “sure Skywalker is with them”?

Luke almost dies not once but three times in the Battle of Hoth sequence. His gunner Dak gets killed; then, his speeder takes a direct hit and crashes; and then he almost gets crushed by one of the AT-ATs. (Granted, that last one was mostly on him, as he was trying to grab something out of the back of the speeder.)

Any one of the speeder pilots/gunners or ground troopers theoretically could’ve been Luke, and we see the AT-ATs just shooting at all of them with abandon. Was Vader so confident that Luke would survive the battle?

Moreover, what was Vader’s original plan? Because he had to change plans after “Ozzell came out of lightspeed too close to the system.” So, he wanted the Empire to start its attack from farther away… Why?

The Rebels were confident that the Empire was on its way so they’d already started the evacuation process, but maybe Vader didn’t know that. Maybe the probe never relayed that it’d encountered hostiles and self-destructed, or maybe it did, but Piett or someone didn’t relay that information to Vader. So, maybe Vader assumed that the Rebels didn’t know the Empire was coming and wanted to do some kind of long-range attack… but wouldn’t that still endanger Luke’s life?

If I was Vader, I would’ve had the fleet come out of lightspeed in a spot where it’d be out-of-range of Rebels’ scans but still close enough to Hoth to launch ships from. Then, I would’ve sent the Imperial equivalent of Seal Team 6 to infiltrate the base and extract Luke alive and bring him back to the Imperial Fleet. Then, I would’ve had the Imperial Forces attack the Rebel base, whether that was a long-range bombardment, ground assault, or whatever. OR I would’ve pulled a Voldemort and demanded Luke surrender himself or the Rebel base would be destroyed.

If I had to make a guess as to why Vader seemed confident Luke wouldn’t get killed in the crossfire, I’d say maybe Vader was using the Force to protect him somehow. Luke’s ship does take a direct hit; but rather than his ship blowing up, it’s only disabled and crashes. Maybe Vader was using the Force to influence the world around him to ensure Luke survived. I don’t know. Or maybe Vader was able to see enough of the future to realize Luke would survive the battle. But, all of these are just guesses.

With the biggest one out of the way, I’m going to tackle the rest of these in chronological order (as seen in the film):

#2: Everything about the Wampa makes no sense.

I know I’m not the first person to ask “Why didn’t Luke just kill the Wampa and stay in the cave?” But, everything else about the Wampa seems illogical.

First of all, how did such a big creature sneak up on Luke when Luke was just scanning for lifeforms AND physically looking around for any movement in a big open area? If the Wampa design had looked more like a snow leopard or a mountain lion, I would’ve understood. Those creatures are designed to sneak up on their prey and then pounce on them quickly and quietly. However, the Wampa is designed like a Yeti, which is a nice send up to the myth, but doesn’t make any sense. If Luke hadn’t been scanning for lifeforms and had been riding through an area where the Wampa could’ve jumped out and struck him, that would’ve been more logical.

Second, how does the Wampa stick Luke to the ceiling of its cave? Luke seems to be sealed in place with ice. How did the Wampa make such a trap considering the freezing conditions on the planet? Everything seems to be frozen already. So Luke being stuck to the ceiling via ice implies that the Wampa somehow melted snow, then somehow got this liquid on the ceiling (presumably, while holding Luke in place) and it froze again in a short amount of time. I don’t get the logistics of that. I could theorize that maybe there’s something about that cave (like a thermal hotspot) that allows snow/water to heat and refreeze quickly, but nothing else in the cave seems to indicate that.

Third, how did the Wampa recognize that the lightsaber was a weapon and take it off Luke’s person before imprisoning him in his makeshift freezer? Perhaps the Wampa is smarter than we give it credit for. Maybe it’s more akin to Chewbacca — with reason and intellect — than a mere animal. But, considering that human/oids don’t live natively on Hoth and this might be the first time the Wampa has ever encountered a human/oid, how does it understand human weaponry?

And, finally, yes, why doesn’t Luke just kill the Wampa and stay in the cave? I’ll chalk that one up to “adrenaline” and “not making the best decision under pressure” and “wanting to get away from danger ASAP.” But, for the rest… I have no idea.

#3: Why do AT-ATs exist? Or, at least, why does the Empire use them during the Battle of Hoth?

Again, I know I’m not the first person to point this out, but I fail to see the tactical advantage of large, four-legged walking tanks in a society where spacecraft and hovercraft exist. Hell, even in our world, we have tanks.

Hovercraft tanks exist in the prequels, so why didn’t the Empire have something like that? Why didn’t the Empire create something like a giant Snowcat/tank thing that can plow through any terrain and is nigh indestructible?

As we see with both the AT-ATs in this movie and the AT-STs in the sequel, the legs create too many vulnerabilities. If even one leg is compromised, damaged or destroyed, the whole thing collapses. I know tanks have their weaknesses too, but at least the hovering ones we see in the prequels seem to have fewer flaws than the AT-ATs do.

Also, the AT-ATs presumably get down there via ship, meaning the Rebel base’s shield doesn’t stop physical ships from getting through. So, why doesn’t the Empire just send down TIE fighters or other strike ships to do low-elevation bombing runs or something? Or at least do both AT-ATs and TIE fighters?

From an aesthetical sense, the AT-ATs look pretty menacing, and I suppose it’s a send-up of war elephants or something. I mean, I don’t hate them, but it’s definitely something you shouldn’t think about too hard.

#4: Why does Vader only sense some things with the Force?

This is mainly a question as to why Vader doesn’t sense the Falcon after it attaches to the Star Destroyer Avenger. It could also apply to why Vader doesn’t sense Luke when he’s still on Hoth.

So, at the beginning of the movie, Vader sees the image of the Rebel base that the probe droid sends in. He immediately recognizes that it’s the Rebel base the Empire’s been looking for, despite what the Imperial officers believe. Presumably, it’s because he could sense it was the Rebels via the Force.

Then, when he arrives on Hoth, Vader immediately starts going after the Falcon. In the comics set before ESB, it’s established ho w Vader knows Luke often flies aboard the Falcon. So, it’s possible he went after the Falcon believing Luke to be aboard or — at minimum — to capture Luke’s friends and force Luke to come to him. Either way, Vader gets what he wants.

But, then after the Falcon flies away, why doesn’t Vader sense that Luke is still on Hoth? In both ESB and ROTJ, Vader is able to sense Luke if they’re in relatively close proximity to each other (like maybe 10-20 miles). So, why doesn’t that work on Hoth?

Later, as the Falcon is hiding in the asteroid field, Vader just knows that everyone aboard is alive. How? I guess it’s through the Force somehow, but how does he know they’re alive but not know where exactly in the asteroid field they are?

Then, as I said, when the Falcon attaches to the back of the Avenger, why Vader can’t sense that Han, Leia & co. are in close proximity?

My guess — and this is just a guess — is that there are two separate Force abilities at work here. We’ll call it Force-sensing and Force-clairvoyance.

Starting with what I’ll call Force-clairvoyance: this is what Vader’s using when he recognizes the Rebel base and when he states that the Falcon‘s crew is alive. He can’t “sense” it per se, but he just knows it. It’s more akin to a gut feeling.

Now, with what I’m calling Force-sensing, I think this is when Force-sensitives are able to sense each other specifically. Maybe being a Force-sensitive “warps” the Force around you — think like how mass impacts gravity. Maybe each Force-sensitive person is like a planet, and the stronger they are, the more they warp the space/Force/environment around them. Not literally, but only on ‘the plane of the Force’ or something. Thus, one Force-sensitive person can feel another based on the way the Force warps in their general area — a “presence,” if you will.

This happens in “Star Wars: Rebels.” Kanan and Ezra are able to sense Vader’s presence near them, despite having never encountered him before. Vader also has a unique presence based on his emotional state – rage, coldness, anger. So, when they encounter him later in the two-part episode, they recognize he’s the one piloting the TIE fighter based on his presence.

Lots of Force-sensitives do this with each other, and their ability to feel each other’s presence seems to be based on: how powerful each of them is; how physically close they are; and how emotionally close they are. That’s why Kylo Ren is able to sense Rey in TROS, and why Vader can sense Obi-Wan in ANH.

Granted, maybe they can’t give an exact location, but if a new ship arrives in your area and you suddenly sense another Force-sensitive in the general vicinity, there’s a good chance the person you’re sensing is aboard the ship. This is exactly what happens between Vader and Obi-Wan in ANH and Vader and Luke in ROTJ.

So, this explains why Vader can sense Luke at the end of ESB, but why doesn’t it work between them on Hoth?

My guess is that Luke isn’t that strong with the Force yet, and thus doesn’t create as much warp in the Force or have a strong presence yet, as he does after training with Yoda. (Hence why Vader says “The Force is with you, young Skywalker.) Vader and Luke are also a lot closer emotionally — meaning that there’s a lot of strong feelings between them, not necessarily positive ones — after the Cloud City duel. Their fates are more tightly bound together after the duel, allowing them both to sense each other much more easily at the end of ESB and later in ROTJ.

Anyway, that’s a lot of explanation to close a plothole that I pointed out, but that’s the best guess I have.

#5: Why does Luke chase after Vader during the duel?

So, Luke is dueling Vader on the carbon-freezing platform, and Vader falls off. Luke then follows him. Why?

Luke’s main concern in going to Cloud City was to save his friends. He’d just seen how Leia & co. were in custody right before entering the carbon-freezing chamber. However, he was tricked into following them and is essentially trapped by Vader in the chamber. Once Vader falls off the platform, though, the one obstacle keeping Luke in that chamber is gone. Why wouldn’t he get out of there and rescue his friends? (There are other ways in and out of there besides the trap door he came through.) But, no, he decides to follow Vader down into the bowels of Cloud City.

My guess is that Luke felt it was his duty to try to stop Vader. He knows who this guy is and the evil he’s capable of. After pushing him off the platform, maybe Luke felt like he had Vader on the backfoot and wanted to finish the job.

He was also, generally, overconfident and riding high on his Jedi training with Yoda, and clearly didn’t realize just how powerful Vader is. I guess it was just another indication of Luke’s hubris. He should’ve taken a (paraphrased) lesson from “30 Rock”: Never follow Darth Vader to a second location.

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So those are my five “biggest” “plotholes.” Again, this is more to prompt discussion than anything else. Do you have any thoughts? Feel free to comment on the Reel Nerds social media pages or email us: reelnerds@gmail.com. Would love to hear what you think!

Family Guy: Ryan’s Ultimate Freakin’ Sweet Review of Every Episode Part 8

Season 3, Episode 19 “Stuck Together, Torn Apart”

Lois has had it with Peter’s jealousy, that he’s even jealous of her gynecologist. Worried that it will only get worse, Lois forces Peter to go to marriage counselor. He recommends that they see different people. Lois goes out with Quagmire, Peter is set up by Mort with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Elsewhere, Brian and Stewie glue their hands together and are stuck with each other for two weeks while they wait for the solvent to set them free.

A fine episode, and delivering some good laughs. Stewie and Brian being stuck together works great, the A-Story of Peter and Lois is funny and a nice reminder why they love each other. The flashbacks of Peter’s jealousy hits the comedic charm, especially when he yells at Hugh Grant at a movie theater and Chris shouts, “Don’t do it dad! He’s bigger than you!”

Grade: B

Season 3, Episode 20 “Road to Europe”

Obsessed with the British TV show, “Jolly Time Revue” and wishing to leave Quahog, Stewie makes his way to the airport. Brian tries to stop Stewie but they both end up as stowaways on a plane, that lands not in England but the Middle East.

After a musical number to distract while they steal a camel, Stewie and Brian make their way across Europe by hot air balloon and train.

Stewie finally makes it to Jolly Time Farm and is heartbroken that its all fake and the actors on the show are not the characters he loves.

While Stewie and Brian are on their adventure, Peter and Lois attend a KISS concert. Peter is heartbroken when he learns that Lois isn’t a fan and embarrasses him at the concert by singing the wrong lyric to a song. Peter still upset decides to go to Denny’s. When he gets there KISS is also there. Peter is shocked to learn that Lois dated Gene SImmons and earned the nickname “Loose Lois”.

The Road to…, episodes are all winners. Hats off to the writers and Seth MacFarlane for crushing a parody of “You and I Are So Awfully Different”. Any chance the writers of Family Guy try and offend a culture or a person they usually succeed without being overly offensive, and no one is safe in this episode. From the Pope to the English, the writing is sharp in this episode.

Grade: A-

Season 3, Episode 21, “Family Guy Viewer Mail #1”

Introduced by Ron MacFarlane (Seth’s dad) “Family Guy Viewer Mail #1” is three short episodes that play as what if’s. Peter finds a genie and gets three wishes, The Griffins get super powers and a Family Guy version of Little Rascals.

Each short has nothing to do with the last or the show for that matter but they are really funny. One of Peter’s wishes to have his own theme music is great (and catchy). So too is the introduction of the super powers that they all get, except Meg. And it is really cute to see the Griffins with really big heads and cute in The Little Rascals parody.

Grade: B+

Season 3, unaired “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”

After losing their “rainy-day” money to a scam artist for Volcano Insurance, Lois demands Peter get the money back for new glasses for Meg. Peter who is at a loss of what to do turns to his friends. He learns from Quagmire and Cleveland that their finances are handled by men with Jewish-sounding names.

Peter lucks into Max Weinstein after he sings the song, “I Need a Jew” who after Peter chases down in a foot chase agrees to help him get his money back.

“When You Wish Upon a Weinstein” was originally supposed to air in 2000. But fearing that it was too anti-Semitic Fox scrapped it. It made it’s debut on Adult Swim and on the Special Features of Volume 2 of the DVDs.

I am not sure how offensive it is, but the episode isn’t the best Family Guy has to offer. There is fun to be had, but the premise doesn’t sustain itself for the whole episode. Mark Hamill appearing as a laser eye surgeon with his light saber is a highlight.

Grade: C

Season 4, Episode 1 “North by North Quahog”

Family Guy returns after being off the air for over 2 years. Peter runs through all the shows Fox cancelled in the cold opening in the time Family Guy has been gone.

The episode really starts after that with Lois yelling out George Clooney’s name during sex. Lois believes that they need to rekindle the fire in their marriage and she and Peter decide to go on a second honeymoon.

While they are gone, Brian is put in charge of the kids. Brian struggles with it and enlists Stewie for help. They end up chaperoning at the middle school where they bust Jake and his upside down face with alcohol.

Peter wrecks his car on the way to their honeymoon because he is distracted by reading a Jughead comic (it’s a great use of animation) and the Griffins get tangled up with the Catholic Church and Mel Gibson’s sequel to The Passion of the Christ.

Although it was off the air for two years, Family Guy did not miss a beat. In fact, the pressure was all on them to deliver and for the most part they do. I had to look it up, Peter names 29 shows that were cancelled on Fox since Family Guy last aired and watching this episode again recently, I couldn’t even remember 80% of them. It also has clever lines like when the news cuts to Tricia Takanowa who says “I’m standing outside Manhattan’s new Park Barrington Hotel because they don’t allow Asians inside.”

Family Guy did not lose its bite.

Grade: A-

Top Blu-Rays of 2021: Ryan’s 21 Favorite Blu-Rays-Number 1 Last Action Hero UHD Steelbook

Hollywood icon, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the Action Hero, Jack Slater, in Jack Slater IV! This time the kill his favorite second cousin…Big Mistake!

Danny (Austin O’Brien) is the biggest Schwarzenegger fan. More so in his tole as Jack Slater. Danny sneaks away instead of going to school to watch Jack Slater III over and over again. Danny’s best friend is Nick (Robert Prosky), the kind projectionist at a rundown New York Cinema.

Danny is invited to see the latest Jack Slater, early. Before Danny sees the film he is given a golden ticket by Nick. Who was given the ticket by Houdini. By tearing the ticket in half, Nick unknowingly unleashes its magical powers. While watching the movie, Danny is sucked into the film and is now part of Jack Slater’s world!

Last Action Hero in my opinion was way ahead of its time and one of Schwarzenegger’s best films. He is brilliant in it. He’s playing an amped up version of his onscreen persona and nails it. He also plays himself in the film. And he has an emotional arc that you don’t see coming that defines his character throughout the film.

I plead with everyone to watch this film. I still don’t think people get it. It is funny, full of action and heart.

Known more as being a financial disaster for Schwarzenegger and Sony pictures, it has languished on blu-ray with a horrible scan and no bonus features.

During the pandemic, Brad and I started a campaign to get Last Action Hero on 4K and with bonus features. Not only did our idea come true but I read that when Sony put a write-in section on what film would fans like to see on 4K, Last Action Hero was by far the most requested title. And I give Sony a ton of credit. They listened to the fans and delivered a great UHD. I like to say Brad and I are the ones that got the ball rolling, seriously we even interviewed a fellow fan, who is also a stuntman from Canada, about this very subject.

Grade: A+

Last Action Hero 4K Video Quality

Last Action Hero takes no prisoners with a fantastic new 4K scan. Gone is the awful previous blu-ray release of crushed colors, heavy pixelization and washed out colors. In its place is a robust new scan showing of detail and colors previously not seen.

Grade: A+

Last Action Hero 4K Audio Quality

Last Action Hero delivers a full on assault to your eardrums. Heavy metal, guns shooting and explosions. Everything in this film is big and the sound mix is no different. From New York’s rain drenched streets to Los Angeles’ sun bathed avenues the ambient sound is stellar.

Grade: A+

Last Action Hero Bonus Features

While this release isn’t packed it is nice to have some features included after the barebones dvd and blu-ray release of the past.

Commentary by Director John McTiernan: Although McTiernan is somewhat boring to listen to, he does give you a lot of information to digest. And he spends a lot of time apologizing for the film, which he doesn’t need to.

Original Behind the Scenes Featurette

Deleted and Alternate Scenes: Also included is an alternate ending which is not good.

Big Gun by AC/DC

Grade: B

One of the most exciting releases for me personally earns my top blu-ray of the year. I adore Last Action Hero, and hope that with this release it will find the audience it deserves!

Overall: A+

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