Year: 2022

Articles

Ryan’s 150 Favorite Movies: Number 149, Design for Living (1933)

One of the most frequent questions I am always asked being the host of the greatest movie podcast ever (opinions may vary) is “What’s your favorite movie?” That answer has been the same since I was 11 years old. But it also isn’t as easy to explain why I love some movies more than others.

As an art form, movies are by their nature interpretative. Some people will point to a film’s box office total as a barometer for a film’s quality, this might not be true again because although it might be popular to the masses it might not appeal to you. I am looking at you Avatar, which is not one of my favorite films, not by a longshot.  

Also, if the film wins an Academy Award for Best Picture, that hardly means it’s one of my favorite films, looking at you The English Patient, in fact I hardly agree with the Academy. Having said that, I am sure that some people love Avatar and The English Patient. And that’s what makes movies so great.

I, also am not a professional critic. I love film. I try and find merit in all film. As a host of a podcast that attempts to give every movie a chance, I believe that is the best way to approach movies, let the lights go out and try and enjoy yourself. You might find a “diamond in the rough.”

When thinking of my favorite movies to share with you, my loyal listeners, I thought 100 wasn’t going to be enough. So, I am proud to present my 150 Favorite Films, right now. These will change, I know they will.

See you at the movies!

***Spoilers Ahead!***

149. Design for Living (1933) (Directed by Ernst Lubitsch)

The Movie: On her way to Paris, commercial artist Gilda (Miriam Hopkins) takes a seat across from tow sleeping men. The men wake up, artist Thomas Chambers (Fredric March) and playwright George Curtis (Gary Cooper) and they soon find they both are smitten with Gilda. Gilda also is ignoring the advances of Max Plunkett (Edward Everett Horton) who is also in love with her.

When Gilda visits Thomas and George at their apartment, both men realize that they can’t live without her and Gilda cannot choose between the two men. She agrees to live with them, help them in their careers and not have sex with either of them.

Gilda has Tom’s play read by a producer, who wants to put it on. Tom goes to London to help in the production of his play. While he is gone, George and Gilda began a romantic affair and soon move into a luxurious apartment after George becomes extremely successful.

Tom learns of this and heads back to Paris and to talk to Gilda. When he arrives, he learns that George is away in Nice painting, Gilda and Tom start having an affair.

When George returns, he throws both Gilda and Tom out. Gilda decides she cannot see the two former friends fighting and leaves to marry their rival, Max.

Gilda realizes that she cannot marry Max as she does not love him. Tom and George crash a party that Max is throwing, sneak upstairs and hide in Gilda’s bedroom.

The three “share” the bed, realize they love each other and leave to live together in Paris at their old apartment.

Why I Love Design for Living: A screwball comedy by one the genres best directors, Design for Living is a pre-code racy, funny and quick-witted comedy.

All the actors are icons in their own right. Miriam Hopkins is beautiful, funny and is the perfect foil to Fredric March and Gary Cooper. It is also great seeing March loosen up and be funny as well. Most of the films I had seen March in he was serious, dark and brooding. Here, he smiles and charms the audience along with Hopkins.

Cooper, is at ease, commanding the camera whenever he is on screen. His smile and his devilishly good looks serve him well with snappy dialogue.

The film has some wonderful camera movements that are so fluid and not common in films in the early 30’s. The crane shot going up the stairs in the apartment complex is awesome. Lubitsch moves the camera quite a bit and doesn’t leave it stationary for too long.

What I love too about early Hollywood is it wouldn’t shy away from racy topics. Before the Hays’ Code really went into effect, Design for Living has Hopkins sleeping with two men, and not choosing either. Making it really refreshing not to have an ending with a bow on it where she chooses one man and marries them. Not Gilda, she decides to live with both, and threesomes is strongly hinted it.

Hopkins has become a favorite of mine and she crushed it in 1933. Not only Design for Living came out but so too did The Story of Temple Drake where she goes for a darker and more controversial (at the time) role.

Articles

Ryan’s 150 Favorite Movies: Number 150, Terrifier (2016)

One of the most frequent questions I am always asked being the host of the greatest movie podcast ever (opinions may vary) is “What’s your favorite movie?” That answer has been the same since I was 11 years old. But it also isn’t as easy to explain why I love some movies more than others.

As an art form, movies are by their nature interpretative. Some people will point to a film’s box office total as a barometer for a film’s quality, this might not be true again because although it might be popular to the masses it might not appeal to you. I am looking at you Avatar, which is not one of my favorite films, not by a longshot.  

Also, if the film wins an Academy Award for Best Picture, that hardly means it’s one of my favorite films, looking at you The English Patient, in fact I hardly agree with the Academy. Having said that, I am sure that some people love Avatar and The English Patient. And that’s what makes movies so great.

I, also am not a professional critic. I love film. I try and find merit in all film. As a host of a podcast that attempts to give every movie a chance, I believe that is the best way to approach movies, let the lights go out and try and enjoy yourself. You might find a “diamond in the rough.”

When thinking of my favorite movies to share with you, my loyal listeners, I thought 100 wasn’t going to be enough. So, I am proud to present my 150 Favorite Films, right now. These will change, I know they will.

See you at the movies!

150. Terrifier (Directed by Damien Leone)

The Movie: It’s Halloween night. Two friends Tara (Jenna Kanell) and Dawn (Catherine Corcoran) leave a party and stop by a pizza shop.  Sitting in the shop is Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton). He sits and stares at the women, and they even take their picture with him. The owner of the restaurant soon appears, kicking Art out the pizzeria for smearing poop all over the bathroom.

Art leaves. The women find that their car’s tires have been slashed and are now stuck. They take refuge in a near by apartment complex, and soon are victims of Art’s reign of terror.

Why I Love Terrifier: It is no secret that I love horror films. My favorite series is Friday the 13th. So anytime a new slasher movie comes out and is the talk of the horror world I must watch it.

I actually saw Art the Clown for the first time at Telluride Horror Show in the anthology All Hallows’ Eve, that film is fun and I could see the potential of Art the Clown as a villain, Terrifier turns everything up to 11.

The idea of a killer clown that doesn’t speak, kills (brutally) without remorse is the stuff of nightmares. Credit must be given to David Howard Thornton’s performance. He is terrifying. And sometimes funny. And sometimes disgusting. Art’s design too is spot on. The pointed nose, black and white costume and make-up make the red blood stand out all that more.

Writer/Director Damien Leone gets a lot of mileage out of his shoestring budget. Pouring energy and gore into every frame of the film.

Terrifier is not for everyone. And I think that’s another reason why I love it. The highlight is the sawing in half of Dawn. It’s gruesome and unsettling and a triumph of practical effects.

If you do watch Terrifier, I whole heartedly recommend the blu-ray. It is packed with cool behind the scenes footage, audio commentary and more.

Art the Clown’s murder spree doesn’t end here, it goes even further with this years, Terrifier 2, which is more insane and brutal.

Articles

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 3 1970-1972

Part 3: In Which Our Hero Wakes Up, Kicks a Woman Out of Bed and Becomes a Superstar

From 1968-1970, Rod Stewart released 5 albums as a solo artist or a part of a band. Stewart was gaining traction as a lead vocalist. With his folky/rock infused solo recordings to his and The Faces legendary live gigs, he was on the cusp of superstardom. The critics loved him, the women really loved him and us boys related to him.

Before Rod became a household name though, he had a couple of stops along the way, the first is around Christmas, 1970.

74. Away in a Manger (traditional?)

I have no idea exactly where this is from, I know it’s a TV special and I also have no idea how I stumbled across it, but wow.

I am not the biggest fan of religious music, but I do love Christmas and Rod is in top vocal form on this short song. Stewart could sing the phone book and it probably would be great. You can find this on YouTube, which you most definitely should.

Grade: A

Long Player, February, 1971

75. Bad ‘n’ Ruin (Ian McLagan, Rod Stewart)

“Mother don’t you recognize your son?” A song about leaving home and returning in rough shape. The singer pleading with his mom to let him back into her home.

I always thought of this song as autobiographical as well, Stewart commented several times that when he left his home to busk in France and around Europe he returned home a mess. Giving the song a jaunty tune makes this a wink and a nod feel, captured in lively music and Rod’s unmistakable charm.

Grade: A+

76. Tell Everyone (Ronnie Lane)

This song is so great. A Ronnie Lane song through and through. With understated music peppering beautiful lyrics that are longing and poignant, this song is a winner. I love when Rod sings lead and backing vocals. Here it is lightly use to emphasize several keys moments of the song.

No matter how many times I listen to songs like this, I can’t help think how great and under appreciated The Faces were at ballads. With lyrics that ache and have a sense of longing, “May the smile on your face, come straight from your heart.”

Grade: A+

77. Sweet Lady Mary (Ronnie Lane, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A beautiful song about a woman and the man who tried to love her. The lyrics by Rod are haunting, stunning and full of pain. Stewart’s phrasing is on full display, so too is the bands restrained playing. It gives the song a dream-like quality.

Grade: A

78. Maybe I’m Amazed (Paul McCartney) Recorded Live at the Fillmore East 11/10/1970

The Faces were always a great live band. They felt that they never reached their potential in the studio, thus on Long Player they have two live recordings.

Released on Paul McCartney’s first solo album, The Faces rock it up a bit. They also have Rod and Ronnie Lane take turns singing the song. It’s a rip roaring cover one that succeeds on Stewart and Lane’s chemistry.

Grade: A

79. Had Me a Real Good Time (Ronnie Lane, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

If I had to pick a song that most exemplifies The Faces, it’s Had Me a Real Good Time. The lyrics are awesome about a drunk Rod Stewart searching the neighborhood for a “skinny girl to invite him into her high class world”.

The other party goers are not impressed with a young Rod Stewart, as after he fell on he floor, “was escorted by a friendly slag, ‘round the bedroom out back.” Why this song is so brilliant, funny and incredible is that it paints a vivid picture of Rod Stewart being too drink to make it in high society. Oh, how I wish I could hear this song live. It is brilliant. My favorite song on this album.

Grade: A+

80. I Feel So Good (Big Bill Broozny) Recorded Live at the Fillmore East 11/10/1970

Another rollicking song that perfectly captures The Faces live. Stewart is in top vocal form. The band is loose and killing it. The one downside, is that it goes on a little too long as it clocks in at nearly 9 minutes. But it is a fun 9 minutes.

Grade: B

The following songs appear on the 2015 rerelease of Long Player

81. Whole Lotta Woman (Marvin Rainwater)

The best opening ever, as The Faces are all drunk, yelling at each other, making jokes, and then launching into song.

It is fun, it is loose and awesome. A cheeky song about how much lovin’ you need to do to keep your woman happy is not very PC now, but in the hands of The Faces it becomes more fun and like they are in on the joke, the only bummer, it ends too soon.

Grade: A-

82. Too Much Woman (For A Henpecked Man) (Ike Turner) Recorded Live at Fillmore East 11/10/1970

I have a couple versions of this song, this is the most clean and best sounding one, my other versions are on totally legal and legit releases…

This song has a nice groove, with the band all slowly building up as the song continues. The original is a funky version, sung with gusto by Tina Turner.

Grade: B

83. Love in Vain (Robert Johnson) *Five Guys Walk Into a Bar Version

I chose the Five Guys Walk Into a Bar, due to Rod dedicating it to Mick Jagger as he is no longer single. The song itself is a slow burn with Rod really showcasing his incredible vocal powers. A restrained Faces backing band is each given a chance to flex their muscles.

After The Faces and Rod Stewart were flirting with being superstars, Rod would break through in the biggest possible way, on his third album, Every Picture Tells a Story, Rod would do something that does not happen very often. Rod’s single “Maggie May” and album reached number one at the same time, only 11 other artists accomplished this feat.

Every Picture Tells a Story, May 28, 1971

84. Every Picture Tells a Story (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

One day, I am sure Rod Stewart will be recognized as a great songwriter. I know he has won awards but it seems that he doesn’t get the credit he deserves. In this rambling, brilliant rock ‘n’ roll masterpiece, Stewart takes us on a journey through his early days of performing across Europe. HIs lyrics are insanely clever, “Combed my hair in a thousand ways, but I came out looking just the same.”

Shout out to Ronnie Wood for co-writing a fun, great song, that builds and builds until Rod and Maggie Bell end the song with the phrase, “Every Picture Tells a Story, don’t it?”

Grade: A+

85. Seems Like a Long Time (Theodore Anderson)

Rod gets serious on “Seems Like a Long Time” as he asks many rhetorical questions. The song has a gospel feel to it, with Rod crushing it with his phrasing of the lyrics. The song continues to build, and then ends with just Stewart and a piano, slowly adding guitars and drums as the song fades out.

Grade: A

86. That’s All Right (Arthur Crudup)

A song made popular by Elvis Presley, Rod adds more instruments and dirties it up nicely. Elvis’ version is the most well known and is well done. I prefer Rod’s more rocking version. Rod also adds some runtime to the song letting the band loose and a chance to shine.

Grade: A

87. Amazing Grace (traditional; Arranged by Rod Stewart)

You know “Amazing Grace”. One of the most recognizable songs ever, however you might not know the Rod Stewart version. Which is one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs you will ever hear.

To find this song, keep listening to “That’s All Right”, when it ends a stunning guitar comes through the speakers. Just Rod and a guitar. It is a crowning achievement. One of my most favorite songs by Rod that is forgotten.

Hats off to Todd Phillips, who used it brilliantly in his road trip comedy, “Due Date”.

Grade: A+

88. Tomorrow Is a Long Time (Bob Dylan)

Rod covers Dylan again with a stunning folky song peppered with wonderful guitar work and a violin to die for. I mentioned earlier how I love when Stewart also sings the background vocals, here it is on full display. Much like a lot of early Dylan covers, Rod tightens it up, sings it better and makes the song that much better, Dylan’s version is great, just not as great as Rod’s.

Grade: A+

89. Maggie May (Rod Stewart, Martin Quittenton)

Making a somewhat loose retelling of how he lost his virginity, Rod Stewart’s unequaled rock/folk masterpiece is a biting, cynical, funny trip down memory lane. Stewart has said many times that “Maggie May” almost didn’t make the cut. That sounds incomprehensible now, but Rod’s argument at the time is there is no real chorus, the song just rambles on.

Although he is right, it also is brilliantly structured, insanely catchy and tells a great story. Add in a lively mandolin and you have one of the greatest, most unique songs ever.

According to Stewart, a DJ in Cleveland flipped the original A-Side, “(Find a) Reason to Believe” and changed his life forever.

Rod was also making himself relatable, which is one of the most important parts of his charm. His charm and witty lyrics are sprinkled throughout, “The morning sun when

it’s in your face, really shows your age” but he recants that bitterness immediately as the next line is, “but that don’t worry me none, in my eyes you’re everything” His struggle to reconcile with an older woman who used him for sex and his love for her for the same reason is another reason why “Maggie May” resonates. He ends the song with “Maggie! I wished I’d never seen your face!”

*Fun note, if you can track it down, in his live performance of “Maggie May” at Budokan, which again I have in a totally legit and legal way he adds a another verse, full of bitterness and anger. “You’re the ugliest woman that I’ve ever seen, the ugliest woman that I’ve ever seen you’re just so damn ugly, you’re so damn ugly woman, I wanna kick your face in, kick your face in, yeah”*

90. Mandolin Wind (Rod Stewart)

This is Rod Stewart’s best written song. Maybe. Possibly. A beautiful story of surviving the harsh winter of the American west. A winning folk song that builds to an epic ending, it also has some truly wonderful lyrics. From the opening, “When the rain came, I thought you’d leave. ‘Cuz I knew how much you loved the sun.”

My favorite part however is the hauntingly aching last verse, “I recall the night we knelt and prayed. Noticing your face was thin and pale. I found it hard to hide my tears. Felt ashamed. I felt I let you down.” We do not know if the wife of the narrator dies, but the melancholy in Rod’s stunning reading leads me to believe that she did. One of his greatest songs and one I hope he will sing live again, soon, like maybe in Denver on August 1, 2023.

Grade: A+

91. (I Know) I’m Losing You (Norman Whitfield, Eddie Holland, Cornelius Grant)

A Temptations song that is given a mean rock ‘n’ roll vibe. The Temptations give the song a nice R&B funk sound, The Faces help Stewart make it more aggressive. Rod is on point with a rough and ready reading. The breakdown is awesome, with the boys humming the tune.

Grade: A

92. Reason to Believe (Tim Hardin)

The original A-Side single to “Maggie May” is a heartbreaking song about trying to forgive someone who’s done you wrong by having “A Reason to Believe.”

Lost in “Maggie May”’s incredible run to the top of the charts is that “Reason to Believe” actually made it to number 62, without the help of “Maggie May”.

*This song proved to be incredibly popular with Rod Stewart’s fans for decades. He notes in Storyteller, that “Amazing reaction to this one live, considering how long ago it was recorded.” He would use this instinct to release this song, 22 years later as the second single from his album Unplugged…and Seated. It would soar to number 19 and in a cool bit of trivia the combined 41 weeks of “Reason to Believe” on the Hot 100 is the most by a Rod Stewart song.

Grade: A+

In 2009, a 4-disc box set was released called The Rod Stewart Sessions which contained previously unreleased material from Rod’s career from 1971-1998. The set is remarkable because it really lets the fans in on how Rod creates his songs. Some songs are not that much different, others are incredibly different. In those instances I will include them in this series.

93. Maggie May (Early Version)

The early version of “Maggie May” starts almost the same, except where you expect “Wake up Maggie”, the song keeps going. It doesn’t stop there. As the first words out of Rod’s mouth are “Just because of you, all of my nights are blue.” The lyrics are completely different.

Rod stated in his autobiography and other places that “Maggie May” only took two takes. So, he must have heard this version of the song he decided it did not work and he went back to the drawing board. The music is there, the timing is there. The clever lyrics still carry the song. The song is not finished as Rod mumbles words and hums as he tries to fit lyrics to the music. The early take is still a treat and fun, with a possible title of “Since You’ve Been Gone” as it’s the phrase that keeps peppering the chorus, just a guess though.

Grade: B+

Stewart had hit it big with Every Picture Tells a Story, and he wasn’t done releasing music in 1971. The Faces first two albums were great, but a common complaint is that they were not tight enough. Some songs seemed to just keep going. The Faces brought in Glyn Johns the producer of The Beatles’ Get Back sessions. It did wonders as The Faces released their best album, with the greatest album title ever.

A Nod is as Good as a Wink…To a Blind Horse November 17, 1971

94. Miss Judy’s Farm (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

From the groovy guitar work to Stewart’s barking, the album gets off to a dirty, rocking start. The song about young men who work on a farm, and also work on Miss Judy. Miss Judy had a mean dog, treated the boys horribly and they attempted to burn down her barn for “whipped in the barn until dawn”.

I am pretty sure only The Faces could produce a song like this, having said that it is awesome. I love this song, in all its non-p.c.glory.

Grade: A+

95. Love Lives Here (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Lane, Ronnie Wood)

I mentioned earlier that The Faces did not get enough credit for their ballads. This is hands down not only their best ballad but one of their best songs.

Rod is in top form. The longing and missing of where you used to live, physically and metaphorically is painted with vivid lyrics and wonderful music. The opening sets the mood immediately, “It’s hard to believe that this is the place, where we were so happy all our lives.”

Grade: A+

96. Stay with Me (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

The Faces only hit, but what a hit it is. The awesome guitar that starts the song, followed by the drums and bass. The song, is about hooking up with a someone and only wanting them there for the night. With an opening shot of “In the morning, don’t say that you love me, cuz I only kick you out of the door.”

This is rock ‘n’ roll at its absolute best. Guitars, top notch vocals and above all else catchy lyrics and fun. The breakdown at the end is a fast, piano key burning crescendo of musicians in peak performance.

Grade: A+

97. Debris (Ronnie Lane)

Ronnie Lane takes over lead vocals on a mellow song with Stewart popping up to help a couple of times. Lane sings three songs on A Nod is as Good as a Wink… to a Blind Horse. Lane was great at at painting pictures through lyrics, and while not as talented as Stewart as a singer, he more than could hold his own on his wistful compositions.

Grade: B+

98. Memphis (Chuck Berry)

Released by Chuck Berry in 1959, “Memphis” is a song about trying to reach your 6 year old daughter. The Faces drop a verse and make the music brighter. The song is also about 2 minutes longer with lots of music breaks.

Rod again flexes his vocal prowess as he conveys warmth and heartache in a brilliant reading. The best part is “The last time I saw Marie, she’s waving me goodbye, with hurry home drops on her cheeks that trickled from her eyes, Marie is only six years old, information please, try to put me through to her in Memphis, Tennessee.”

Grade: A

99. Too Bad (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

I love the opening of this song. With the producer saying “Rod? Ron I mean…” before the piano and the music launching into a bang up of a rock song.

The song, in which our hero is thrown out of a party, yet again. And “all we wanted to do was to socialize” Another highlight, when Rod sings “What an insult” Ronnie’s guitar does a cool twinge. Songs like “Too Bad” and “Had Me a Real Good Time” let us all in on the party that The Faces were having, and we wanted to be a part of it.

Grade:A

100. That’s All You Need (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A heavy guitar opens the song with Rod launching right into the story by telling you “Sit right down if you can spare me a minute”. He weaves a tell about how he is a disappointment to his family and how he gets advice from them all, but maybe a “quick listen is all you need”. The breakdown of the song is classic and a trademark of Stewart and Wood’s writing.

Grade:A

Rod Stewart was on a roll. Every Picture Tells a Story rocketed to number 1 on the Billboard Charts, followed six months later by The Faces’ A Nod is as Good as a Wink…To a Blind Horse peaking at number 6.

Of course the pressure was on for a follow up, Stewart delivered and than some. I believe that Never a Dull Moment to be the best Rod Stewart album as it combines the best of him and the best of The Faces.

Never a Dull Moment July 21, 1972

101. True Blue (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

In a tongue and cheek opening, Stewart laments about never being a millionaire, or owning a “fast, back mid-engine Porsche.” But the song soon breaks down on wanting to just be home, missing your family even if his dad “as a lot more money than sense.” The song ends with a car racing off and getting home, which according to Rod took longer than the song to record.

Grade: A

102. Los Paraguayos (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

Getting away from everyone and escaping to Central America, with a woman who might be a little young. A song that most definitely wouldn’t fly today, but sometimes all we need is some South American sun. Where “True Blue” was a Faces song, “Lost Paraguayos” is a Rod Stewart song through and through. Folky and rock sprinkled with a dash of wit and regret.

Grade: A

103. Mama, You’ve Been on My Mind (Bob Dylan)

Hands down one of my absolute favorite Rod covers of Bob Dylan. Dylan wrote it in 1964, but would not release it until 1991 on a series of “bootleg” albums. I am not sure where Rod heard it first as it was recorded a handful of times by other artists. There is a George Harrison version that is pretty great too, but Rod outclasses them all.

Stewart sounds more confident and sure in his reading of the song. Dylan sounds more heartbroken. I always wonder if Rod would ever just do an album of Dylan covers? If he did it would be amazing.

Grade: A+

104. Italian Girls (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

“She was tall, thin and tarty, and she drove a Maserati.” A high class Italian woman hooking up with a “creep in an army surplus Jeep” is the story of this brilliant Stewart and Wood collaboration.

What makes this song such a gem is the opening 3/4 of the song our hero sings about not caring about his Italian Girl because he “will be gone with the morning sun on my back”, slowly breaks down to a song of longing for the aforementioned woman. I will continue to say this until someone, somewhere listens and recognizes the brilliance of Rod Stewart’s song writing.

Grade: A+

105. Angel (Jimi Hendrix)

Although this appears on Rod’s album, The Faces are the musicians and this could have easily been on their album as well. Anyways, Rod covers Jimi Hendrix and I think Jimi would approve. Jimi died in 1970 and “Angel” wasn’t released until 1971. Hendrix’s version is a little more subdued but equally as brilliant.

Rod Stewart embraces the challenge of covering Hendrix and makes the song much more arena ready, meaning he emphasizes the chorus to make it much more sing-along.

Rod’s version appears in the movie “Charlie’s Angel” and for a little bit was part of his set list.

Grade: A

106. You Wear It Well (Rod Stewart, Martin Quittenton)

The formula for “Maggie May” is given another go with my favorite Rod Stewart song. I love everything about this song. The longing for love, the witty lyrics and lazy-driving music make this a winner.

“You Wear It Well” separates itself from “Maggie May” by featuring a violin instead of a mandolin. This gives the song a more jaunty feel, while not straying far from the winning Rod Stewart formula.

Grade: A+

107. I’d Rather Go Blind (Billy Foster, Ellington Jordan)

Etta James absolutely owns “I’d Rather Go Blind”. Rod Stewart makes it his own as well. My favorite cover Stewart has ever done. HIs reading, his heartache, his emotion and the stirring guitar work by Ronnie Wood makes this a showstopper.

Rod started putting this back into his live performances when he was touring with Carols Santana. If you want to watch and see two masters at work and send chills up your spine, seek out the YouTube video of their performance in Vegas.

Grade: A+

108. Twistin’ the Night Away (Sam Cooke)

I could explain why I love this song by Rod, but I think he does it much better. Rod explains in Storyteller, “A Sam Cooke song. I could never sing it better, so we just took it in a different direction. The last track recorded for Never a Dull Moment, it speeds up and down, but the feel is right and that’s what counts.”

Stewart’s version is great, but this isn’t the last time he would record it, he would update the song, which I will tackle when we get to 1987.

Grade: A

Hidden on the 8-track and cassette tape of Never a Dull Moment is a classic, country song.

109. What’s Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)

This song is so wonderful. It is straight country, with steel guitars and a rambling guitar. Rod does not remember where he recorded this or when. It does appear as the B-side to “Angel” and another song I wish he would sing live.

Grade: A

The Rod Stewart Sessions from 2009 gave us some early versions of songs appearing on Never a Dull Moment.

110. Italian Girls (Early Version)

Completely different lyrics. We hear Rod trying to find lyrics that work for this song. It sounds like he landed on the theme of “Italian Girls” and he is working throw his process. Some of the lyrics survive into the final product, but overall it’s a work in progress, the coolest part is hearing Rod the musician/producer call out chord changes, a couple of times he shouts, “Into the A!”.

Grade: B

111. You Wear It Well (Early Version)

Much like “Maggie May” Stewart is trying out lyrics that fit with the music. In this early version he lands on “You Wear It Well” as the end of the chorus quickly, he also stumbles through some of the lyrics as he just doo-wops and adds nonsense words to fill in the timing.

But I do love the line, that I wish made it into another song, “And I fell on the hardwood floor, just because I adore, your underwear”.

Grade: A-

Stay tuned for Part 4: In Which Our Hero Loses a Band, but Gains a New Home

Articles, Review

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 2 1968-1970

Part 2: In Which our Hero Joins a Band or Two and Makes His Mark as a Solo Artist

UNITED KINGDOM – APRIL 01: BBC TV CENTRE Photo of Jeff BECK and Ron WOOD and Rod STEWART and Mickey WALLER and Ronnie WOOD and Jeff BECK GROUP, The Jeff Beck Group – Ron Wood (Ronnie Wood), Jeff Beck, Mickey Waller, Rod Stewart – posed, group shot (Photo by Ivan Keeman/Redferns)

In 1967, Rod Stewart was struggling to get recognition as a vocalist. He had been in several bands that failed to gain any traction. That all changed when he met Jeff Beck, guitarist extraordinaire according to Rod, sometime in 1967. They soon would form a band with Rod’s soon to be best mate Ronnie Wood and drummer Mickey Waller, dubbing themselves, The Jeff Beck Group.

Their first gig was March 3, 1967 to which Rod called a “24-carat disaster”. Stewart opined that they were not ready and it showed in their performance. Legend has it that it was so bad that Ian MacLagan pulled the plug on The Jeff Beck Group.

They would soon get their act together and release one of the most influential albums of all time, Truth.

Released in July of 1968, Truth caught lightning in a bottle with the members of the band at peak form. Since this a Rod Stewart series I will only review the tracks he appears on, even if it is just backgrounds or in the rare instance he plays an instrument other then his throat.

Truth, July 1968

29. Shapes of Things (Jim McCarty, Keith Reif, Paul Samwell-Smith)

How do you open an album? With a kick ass blues/heavy metal cover. Rod sounds so confident as soon as he steps up to the microphone, which is a huge step up from his singles in the early part of the decade. It’s as if he needed the backing of a great band to realize his potential. Waller’s drums are a driving force throughout its three short minutes. And the solo by Beck is masterful.

I adore this song.

Grade: A

30. Let Me Love You (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

A song written by Stewart and Beck shows off both men’s talent, but not to be overlooked is Ronnie Wood’s driving bass that gives depth throughout the song. The song is a blast, one misstep is having Beck sing some of it. This seems to be Mickie Most’s idea, the producer on the album. And while Beck isn’t horrible, he is no Rod Stewart and it takes some of the greatness of the song away.

Grade: B+

31. Morning Dew (Bonnie Dobson)

The opening of “Morning Dew” slows things down. The guitar work on this song is brilliant, Stewart sings with gusto and emotion.

It cranks up and morphs into a nice groove. Although not the strongest song on the album, it still packs a wallop.

Grade: B

32. You Shook Me (Willie Dixon, J.B. Lenoir)

Early in his recording career, Rod tried his hands at blues many times. He finally got it right with “You Shook Me”. When I think of blues, I think of songs like this. The breakdown at the end is a master class in playing guitar.

Incredible band, incredible vocals lend to one gobsmack of a song.

Grade: A

33. Ol’ Man River (Jerome Kern, Oscar Hammerstein II)

Remember when in 2002 the critics and some fans were shocked when Stewart tackled The Great American Songbook? Well he was tackling these songs since he was recording music. Now a big difference, obviously is this is geared more to hard rock and less of a show tune.

But Rod’s reading is stunning and beautiful in a “let’s dirty this song up” kinda way. Trust me, when you hear this it will leave you breathless.

Grade: A-

34. Rock My Plimsoul (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

A theme on this album is Beck and Stewart reworking several blues standards into a version of their own. The most successful of these is a reworking of B.B. King’s “Rock Me Baby”. In a clever wink, these songs were originally credited to “Jeffrey Rod” a pseudonym for Stewart and Beck.

Another song were by sprinkling rock and roll with blues overtones fits The Jeff Beck Group’s style so well. Everyone on this track is tight and brings it.

Grade: A

35. Blues Deluxe (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

Another reworked blues standard by Beck and Stewart, this is full blown blues. Rod sings his heart out in this song. He even adds laughs and some overdubbed applause.

Nicky Hopkins makes an appearance here with some wicked piano playing, giving the song even more layers.

Grade: B

36. I Ain’t Superstitious (Willie Dixon)

Awesome. A perfect blend of blues, hard rock and stunning guitar work. It’s clear that WIllie Dixon is a favorite of Rod Stewart. Early in his career Stewart covered him four times, with each one getting better.

This song also has resonated with Stewart as he every once in awhile will play this in concert. It hasn’t lost its bite.

Grade: A+

The next few songs are not on the original release of Truth. They would appear nearly 40 years later on a deluxe version of the album. “I’ve Been Drinking” did make an appearance on Rod’s career spanning box set “Storyteller”.

37. I’ve Been Drinking (Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

Another song I freaking adore. It’s bluesy, driving with some awesome drums, and rock and roll all in one stunning 3-minute song, that I can’t believe wasn’t a hit. I do know that this was released as a B-side single. I implore you to find this song and listen to its greatness.

Grade: A+

38. Tallyman (Graham Goldman)

For some reason Mickie Most did not like Rod Stewart. He had Jeff Beck sing a couple of songs that I am not sure he should be singing. Beck is just not that impressive of a singer. He is just there, which makes no sense when you have Rod Stewart.

Anyways, here we get a really poppy song by a band that isn’t a pop band. According to Rod he sings backing vocals on this track, I really can’t hear them, but he says he does in his autobiography, so I will take him at his word.

Grade: C-

39. Hi Ho Silver Lining (Scott English, Laurence Weiss)

Another pop song that Most did not want Rod to sing, he is regulated to the admittedly catchy chorus. But by doing that, it makes the song not as good as it could be.

Beck cannot phrase as well as Stewart and sings the song with no real passion, he just sings it.

Grade: C+

After the success of Truth, which peaked at number 15 on the Billboard Charts, a follow up was quickly ordered.

Born out of that was the 1969 album, Beck-Ola.

Beck-Ola, June 1969

40. All Shook Up (Otis Blackwell)

Taking one of Elvis Presley’s well known songs and dirtying it up nicely, Beck-Ola is off to a fun start. While, it is impossible to top Presley’s version, Beck, Stewart and company make it their own.

They are successful in making it different and relevant.

Grade: B+

41. Spanish Boots (Ronnie Wood, Jeff Beck, Rod Stewart)

This song is silly. I listened to a podcast Ronnie Wood did that Stewart was a guest on. Wood played this song and both men were not impressed. In his autobiography Rod states “…I wrote the lyrics—a load of old nonsense about about monasteries and tapestries and putting your boots on. I cringe to think of it now.”

Rod is right, the song is not great.

Grade: C-

42. Jailhouse Rock (Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller)

Another Elvis hit that The Jeff Beck Group makes “harder” Beck really shreds his guitar in this song and gives it a lot of personality. Rod sings with conviction and power.

Grade: B+

43. Plynth (Water Down the Drain) (Nicky Hopkins, Ronnie Wood, Rod Stewart)

One of the coolest openings ever, in rock history. A funky, blues number about being alone and fearing death. Easily my favorite song on the album.

A song I think benefits from not having Beck as one of the writers. The rest of the band trying something new with more complicated lyrics make this a show stopper. Rod, of course is crushing it with a powerful reading.

Grade: A+

44. The Hangman’s Knee (Tony Newman, Jeff Beck, Nicky Hopkins, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A song about a man being executed by hanging. Not sure if this really works. There are some redeeming qualities but the song never really gets going or catches on. It tries really hard to invoke images of the gallows but Stewart would soon learn the art of subtle songwriting.

Grade: C-

Beck-Ola was reissued in 2006, containing songs that did not previously appear on the album.

45. Sweet Little Angel (B.B.King)

A heartfelt cover by The Jeff Beck Group, clocking in at nearly 8 minutes, allowing the song to really breathe and get you in a mood of heartache.

Jeff Beck is in his element in this song, shredding guitars so much I picture smoke coming from the strings.

Grade: B-

46. Throw Down a Line (Hank Marvin)

Piano tinkles breakaway for a bluesy/rocky number that invokes bitterness, which can be mishandled if not done by world class musicians, which The Jeff Beck Group are.

Grade: B

Rod Stewart’s time in The Jeff Beck Group had come to a quick end. The group was scheduled to play at Woodstock, but according to Rod, Beck left because he thought his lady was cheating on him, she was not and they never played again, they ended their run with a whimper, instead of a bang.

Not all was lost, as Stewart was starting to find his groove and one fateful meeting with Lou Reizner, head of Mercury Recrods, offered Rod a solo deal. Stewart accepted.

An Old Raincoat Won’t Ever Let You Down or The Rod Stewart Album, November 1969

47. Street Fighting Man (Mick Jagger, Keith RIchards)

Originally planned on being the Little Richard song, “The Girl Can’t Help It” (which I want to hear Rod sing) Rod said he started singing “Street Fighting Man” for some unknown reason. He further elaborates that he loved the lyrics but did not like how they got chewed up in the noise of The Rolling Stones.

I think Stewart is right and his version is much more cohesive and better. I said it, even if Rod won’t he is a superior vocalist to Jagger.

Grade: A

48. Man of Constant Sorrow (traditional, arranged by Rod Stewart)

Stewart changes some of the lyrics here and delivers the goods. Also of note, Rod plays the guitars on this track, which he doesn’t do often but maybe should. They are so good.

A mellow, wonderful song. Stewart is settling into being a folk/rock hero and the first two tracks on his solo album are proof that he had nearly mastered it.

Grade: A

49. Blind Prayer (Rod Stewart)

Rod digs into his experience with The Jeff Beck Group for a heavy blues number written by him. A yells and howls about not wanting to lose his woman and his money.

The breakdown is great as the song bridges to a crescendo. And Rod balls out as the song closes. It’s rough but it works.

Grade: B

50. Handbags and Gladrags (Mike d’Abo)

Beautiful. That’s what I think of when I hear this absolute gem of a track. Stewart is one of the best interpreter of songs ever. He takes a song about longing for love and makes a heartbreaking winner. Stewart allows it to breathe with writer d’Abo on piano and slight drumming by Mickey Waller until it hits the chorus which it explodes with passion.

Rod is in expert vocal form, the band is at top form, an early classic from Stewart.

Grade:A+

51. An Old Raincoat Won’t Ever Let You Down (Rod Stewart)

Looking back at hanging out with your friends is fun. Stewart does this with great affection in his title track of his debut album. I love this song. From the opening strums of the guitar to the bass that follows, everything on this track works.

Stewart paints a picture with his words that transports you to a cold London, drizzling with rain, hanging out with your friends, getting into trobule.

Grade: A+

52. I Wouldn’t Change a Thing (Rod Stewart)

Rod gets help on the vocals here by the previously mentioned Lou Reizner. This song really reminds of Bob Dylan. The way the song plays out as a story with a clear vision. It doesn’t quite stick the landing, but a style was taking shape and it works.

I love Keith Emerson on organ in this song. It brings the song together.

Grade: B

53. Cindy’s Lament (Rod Stewart)

A really bitter song about a woman that ignores Stewart or the subject of this song. Rod doesn’t often let his angry side pop up on records, but when he does he delivers the goods.

The song has a fade out and return that adds to the pulsating drive of its subject.

Grade: B

54. Dirty Old Town (Ewan MacColl)

The changing and love for the town of Salford paints a vivid picture in this amazing cover. Rod was slowly becoming a folk icon with songs like this. One of my most favorite concert moments ever was when Rod put a guitar over his shoulder and played this song to a stunned sold-out crowd in Denver. There is a great YouTube video of this song with Stewart playing guitar, and the whole crowd singing along, which you should seek out.

Grade: A+

After Stewart and Wood left the Jeff Beck Group, Rod was busy with his very own solo record. With that finished, Stewart started accompanying Ronnie Wood to his new gig, as a guitar player for The Small Faces. Stewart would stay upstairs and just listen to them play, which he quickly realized is they needed a lead vocalist.

Steve Marriott had left to form (wink) Humble Pie. The Small Faces however were not too keen on being thought of as a backing band. Stewart eventually won them over and the dropped “Small” from their name and became simply The Faces.

They were formed in October of 1969 and in March of 1970, their debut album, First Step was released. Funny side note, the album cover credits First Step to The Small Faces, even the record company did not know who these boys were.

First Step, March 27, 1970

55. Wicked Messenger (Bob Dylan)

Covering Bob Dylan is an early Rod Stewart trademark. Here with his new band The Faces, they drop “The” from the song title and make it much harder rocking. Dylan’s is a folk song, The Faces cover is not. I think it’s better. It gives the song more bite and not so rambling.

Grade: B+

56. Devotion (Ronnie Lane)

Ronnie Lane is an incredible song writer. As he has proved over the years even before The Faces he was responsible for legendary songs like “Itchycoo Park”. Here it’s a tender ballad that he sings with Stewart. Lane fits nicely with Stewart as he is able to convey emotion the way Jeff Beck never could.

The Faces are often thought of (and rightfully so) as a party band but songs like Devotion prove the lads could be sensitive, reflective and great songwriters too.

Grade: B+

57. Shake, Shudder, Shiver (Ronnie Lane, Ronnie Wood)

After slowing down for one song the boys rip it up again with an original Lane and Wood song that allows the whole band to shine with Stewart and Lane sharing singing duties. Highlighted by a jaw dropping guitar solo by Wood this song rocks. It works better live, which you can find on the 2015 reissue.

Grade: B

58. Stone (Ronnie Lane)

Did you know that Rod was discovered not by singing but by playing harmonica? Although he would never would say it but Stewart is pretty good at it. On this Ronnie Lane sung track Stewart plays not only harmonica, but also the banjo. The song is fun too, it is a perfect Ronnie Lane song.

Grade: A-

59. Around the Plynth (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

Straight up rock ‘n’ roll. The incredible force of this song makes it a winner. Stewart is unmatched in his rock voice, Elton John said he has the best voice in all of rock ‘n’ roll. I am sure John is referencing songs like this. The band fills the speakers with crazy guitar work, a bass that pushes the song forward and a drum beat that is loud and non intrusive and Ian McLagan gets his own solo too.

The best part? The band stops playing and Rod just starts singing again and the whole band starts again. Chills.

Grade: A

60. Flying (Ronnie Lane, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

The boys continue to shine with a rock song about longing for home. Returning home and telling everyone that you spent five years in jail for “being hungry tired and poor.”

Another showcase for Stewart as a vocalist, as I continue to listen to these songs in order, I am amazed how fast Rod gained confidence and become one of the greatest singers of all time.

Grade: A

61. Nobody Knows (Ronnie Lane, Ronnie Wood)

A great collaboration between Wood and Lane is easy to pick out their contributions to the song. Lane’s sensitive lyrics, Woods driving mellow guitar work is easy to fall in love with the song.

Stewart and Lane share singing duties again, with Stewart really elevating his moments. I actually think this song is the turning point for the band. Although Lane is a good singer, he is soon overshadowed by Stewart being superior. I am not slighting Lane as I adore him, but The Faces needed a lead vocalist and Stewart was their man. Stewart and Lane would share the mic a few more times, but not nearly as much as they did on this album.

Grade: A

62. Three Button Hand Me Down (Rod Stewart, Ian McLagan)

My favorite song on the album and my favorite song about a piece of clothing. Lane’s bass is incredible to start the song off. As the whole band joins in, the song about having the perfect suit is purely Rod Stewart, and purely The Faces. No other band or singer can sing a song about a suit handed down to a son by his dad. The cheekiness of the song is great, the band, awesome thorough its runtime.

Grade: A+

LONDON – 1st JANUARY: English group Faces posed backstage at BBC TV’s Top Of The Pops show in 1971. Left to right: Ronnie Lane (1946-1997), Ian McLagan, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood and Kenney Jones. (Photo by Ron Howard/Redferns)

On the incredible box set, Five Guys Walk Into A Bar a couple of unheard rehearsals pop up. I will add them to this list if they are different than what appears on the albums.

63. Evil (Willie Dixon)

Yes this is a rehearsal and it shows. It sounds like it was recorded in a hotel room. Credited as being recorded in 1969, it seems like and sounds like a band trying to feel each other out. That being said there is some merit here and with a better recording the song might have fared better.

Grade: B-

In 2015, another reissue of The Faces albums pops up, but with even more unheard songs. You can find these songs on You Can Make Me Dance, Sing or Anything…

64. Behind the Sun (Kenney Jones, Ronnie Lane, Ian McLagan, Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

So how in the hell is this song not on the proper release? Behind the Sun is a rocking song that is incredible. That it took almost 50 years to be released is a shame. It is tighter than most songs on First Step. The only excuse I can think of is maybe totally it doesn’t fit? Or maybe it was recorded and they forgot about it, either way, we have it now and we are better for it.

Grade: A+

If you’re keeping track Rod Stewart has already released four albums in two years. He wasn’t done. A mere three months after The Faces debut album debuted, Gasoline Alley was released. Often regarded as Rod Stewart’s best album, it showcases him as an impeccable songwriter and an ear for songs that he could cover well.

Gasoline Alley, June 6, 1970

65. Gasoline Alley (Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood)

A favorite of Rod Stewart and his fans, Gasoline Alley has all the ingredients of a Stewart classic. Loning for home, and romanticizing about it. I love the story on how the song came about, in his autobiography Rod states, “I got the title, Gasoline Alley from something said to me by a girl backstage at San Fransisco’s Fillmore West after a Jeff Beck Group gig. I had been chatting her up and she suddenly announced, “I’ve got to get home, or else my mother will say, ‘Where have you been—down Gasoline Alley?’”

Grade: A+

66. It’s All Over Now (Bobby Womack, Shirley Jean Womack)

A rip-roaring cover that seems so in-different, yet so driving that it totally works. Rod’s vocals again shine which adds to the proceedings backed by a boisterous band I wish he would perform this live again.

Grade: A

67. Only a Hobo (Bob Dylan)

Rod Stewart easily outdoing Bob Dylan on a Bob Dylan song. I have said this many times, Bob Dylan is one of the greatest song writers ever, but not even close to a good singer, I find his style grating, but his words are magical. Stewart does his songs justice, something he still does to this day.

This song about how we treat homeless people is heartbreaking and eye opening and over 50 years later little has changed.

Grade: A+

68. My Way of Giving (Ronnie Lane, Steve Marriott)

Rod covers The Small Faces. He keeps it pretty close to the original but he changes some lyrics like from “tenderness to happiness”, and forgoes the pop-iness of the original. But the spirit remains and so too does a fine song.

Grade: B+

69. Country Comforts (Elton John, Bernie Taupin)

Ironically released before John’s own version, it sticks pretty close to the original. Both are really good. I obviously prefer Rod’s version as his has more emotion to the proceedings, and strips it of the pop song and makes it more folky. Both versions are great, with Rod having a leg up on John’s own song.

And for some reason adds an “s” to the end of Comforts? Maybe it’s just not credited correctly on the album.

Grade: A

70. Cut Across Shorty (Wayne P. Walker, Marijohn Wilkin)

A bluesy/folksy fairy tale in attempt to win the pretty girl in town hand in marriage. Such a fun song that is another song that tells a complete story, and I smile every time I hear it. I love the chorus of Miss Lucy helping Shorty win the race because even though Dan “has all the money and he also has the looks” Lucy chooses love.

Grade: A

71. Lady Day (Rod Stewart)

A hidden gem on an album full of diamonds, Rod is at his most Bob Dylan. Command of the words and phrasing makes this the most unheralded song on this album. It has a lazy, dream like quality that is different than most of the album.

Grade: A

72. Jo’s Lament (Rod Stewart)

This song breaks my heart, and if Lady Day is a hidden gem, I don’t even have an adequate word or phrase to describe this song. I believe this is autobiographical as Rod and his girlfriend Susannah Boffey had a child that was given up for adoption, and I think this song is an apology to her and his child.

It has one of my most favorite lines, in any song ever, “You bore my child and I left you aside, I don’t expect you to forgive, But now I’m not so young and I’m so afraid, to sleep alone for the rest of my days.”

Grade: A+

73. You’re My Girl (I Don’t Want to Discuss It) (Dick Cooper, Beth Beatty, Ernie Shelby)

After two reflective songs, Rod goes vindictive and makes it less of a pop song that Little Richard did. Stewart makes it meaner and heavier, which I really like. The drums keep the proceedings moving along briskly.

Stewart’s ability to restructure songs is on full display here, he would employ this technique on his next solo album too.

Grade: A

Stay tuned for Part 3: In Which Our Hero Wakes Up, Kicks a Woman Out of Bed and Becomes a Superstar

Articles, Review, Uncategorized

Rod Stewart: Year by Year, Track by Track Part 1: 1964-1969, The Singles

Here we go again. I know that’s what you’re thinking. Another Rod Stewart article by Ryan. And yes, another one. I am making this one the most complete exploration of Rod Stewart’s output. As I scour the internet, I have seen that Stewart is sometimes largely ignored. As a fan I try and explain to everyone that he might posses the biggest, longest must under appreciated career in music.

With Stewart approaching nearly 60 years of continuously producing and recording music the only question is what will he do next? He has done everything from R&B, folk, rock, disco, The Great American Songbook and just about everything in between.

So the information found in this series of articles will be a breakdown/review of every, yes every song Rod Stewart recorded, released or was a part of. I think I have them all and I think I have heard them all (a big shoutout to Antonio of Rod Stewart FC Pals for sending me hard to find bonus tracks from The Great American “Snorebook” his words not mine.) If there are missing songs, wrong information, or any other musings that you disagree with, please let me know. I want this to be the most complete review of all of Rod Stewart’s songs.

Part 1: Where Our Hero Tries to Find His Voice: The Singles 1964-1969

If you dig enough you will find some truly funny stories from Rod Stewart about his early days of trying to find his way into the music world. From busking in Paris to performing in bands such as Steampacket and Shotgun Express, Rod covered a lot of blues and R&B songs from his heroes. You can hear in his early recordings a young man desperately trying to sound like Sam Cooke. And while the music during this blossoming period is fun, it doesn’t really catch on.

I struggled to find actual dates for a lot of these songs, I do know that Rod’s first solo single is the blues standard by Sonny Boy Williamson, “Good Morning Little School Girl”. In the liner notes to “Storyteller” Rod states that John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin is on bass, how cool is that?

1. Good Morning Little School Girl (Sonny Boy Williamson)

The opening guitar on this blues standard is instantly catchy. Rod states in “Storyteller” that The Yardbirds recorded this song as well, “mere weeks” before he did making his version “fairly useless”. But ignore that and Rod sounds confident and at home with the blues. For a first effort it is pretty solid. Nothing earth shattering but the song is well done and a nice start for our hero.

Grade: B

2. Up Above My Head (Sister Rosetta Thorpe)

Long John Baldry opens the singing on this uptempo number originally released in 1939. Rod and John do a call and answer and the song is bursting with energy. The sound is right and the band is tight. I imagine this is a fun song to play. The song play out goes on a little too long before it picks up again causing the song to lose some momentum.

Grade: B-

3. I’m Gonna Move to the Outskirts of Town (Casey Bill and Roy Jacobs)

Another blues number that Rod attempts with some success. Originally recorded as “We Gonna Move (To the Outskirts of Town)” in 1936, but often changed to I’m. Although it is missing the rough and tumble grittiness of the original, Rod’s version is commendable.

Grade: B-

4. Bright Lights, Big City (Jimmy Reed)

Recorded in 1961 by Jimmy Reed, Rod would tackle this song just three years later, and it is just ok. This is a song I can hear Rod trying really hard on, and without some discipline he over sings some parts with varying degrees of success. It would be another couple years before Rod Stewart, became Rod Stewart and this is a song where he lacks some identity.

Grade: C

5. Ain’t That Lovin’ You Baby (Jimmy Reed)

Another Jimmy Reed classic that Rod tries his hand at. While Reed’s version is vastly superior, Rod pops it up a little bit causing the song to lose some of it’s bite. Rod also over sings this song as well but it doesn’t come across as trying too hard as on “Bright Lights, Big City”.

Grade: C+

6. Don’t You Tell Nobody (Willie Dixon)

Rod gets down and dirty by barking at his lady friend telling her not to tell anyone what they have been up to. Not too effective and the song just seems to shamble along.

Grade: C-

7. Just Like I Treat You (Willie Dixon)

A meandering dip into blues doesn’t really deliver. Where as Rod tried to overdue “Don’t You Tell Nobody” here he tries to tone it down, which makes it not pop. As I listen to these songs again I can’t help but notice Rod is trying to find his voice, which in turn leads to some varying degrees of success.

Grade: C-

8. Mopper’s Blues (Big Bill Broozny)

Easily the weakest song Rod has recorded to this point. It is way over produced. The backing band is distracting and unnecessary. Rod’s version mirrors Muddy Waters’ version not the superior Big Bill Broozny original. Rod also leaves off a couple verses which makes the song a repetitive bore.

Grade: D

9. Keep Your Hands Off Her (Huddie “Lead Belly” Ledbetter, I actually can’t find out if he is the writer of this song. HIs version and his name are the only mentions of this song I can find, if you know please help,)

A really fun ditty that is almost great. Rod has lots of fun with this song telling another man to keep his hands off his “heavy hipped woman”. Why I enjoy this song is I can hear Rod smiling as he sings it. Part of the appeal of Rod Stewart for me has always been “he’s one of the guys”. “Keep Your Hands Off Her” is a perfect example of a song that Rod sings and enjoys.

Grade: A-

10. The Day Will Come (Barry Mason)

A true pop song in an early recording career of covering blues songs. A warning perhaps of armageddon and how the common man is the one fighting the fight. I read that the writer of the song was not too impressed with Rod’s version stating that Rod really did not want to sing it.

If that is true I disagree with both men. It is not earth shattering but Rod sings the song well and the song is effective. And I think Mason is giving his song too much credit. Yes, it is cool lyrically but it is nowhere a song that if it was sung by someone else would make it anything more than Rod did.

Grade: B

11. Why Does it Go On (Barry Mason)

I’m sensing a theme here with Barry Mason and his song writing, but this song is better than “A Day Will Come”. But trading in the fantastical images of the end of the world to an almost Bob Dylan style of song makes it much more effective.

Rod is in top form as well as I think he is starting to find his voice. And although Rod has such a great voice for blues, as you will find out a little later on, possibly his best genre is folk/rock.

Grade: A

12. Can I Get a Witness (Holland, Holland and Dozier)

A Steampacket song that Rod and Long John Baldry trade roles of “Up Above My Head”, where Rod takes over the lead and John is the callback during the song.

It is fun, light and not quite great, but enjoyable.

Grade: B-

13. Baby Take Me (Jo Armstead, Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson)

A true all in Steampacket song with Rod, Long John Baldry and Julie Driscoll all taking the lead at some point. And while I do adore Long John and Julie, Rod is starting to separate himself from them in terms of becoming a lead vocalist and not just part of a band. His charm and vocal prowess cannot be denied in this song and it sines through the speakers.

Grade: B+

14. Oh, Baby Don’t You Do It (Holland, Holland and Dozier)

Long John Baldry takes the lead on this song with Rod regulated to backing vocals. It is slightly over produced and doesn’t stick the landing. John Baldry has a very distinct voice and it is oozing with personality. This song however did nothing for his career.

Grade: C-

15. Lord Remember Me (unknown, I can’t find this writer, possibly a traditional song, again please reach out to me if you know.)

Long John again steps into the lead vocalist role with Rod providing backing vocals. It is a little strange hearing a gospel song from Steampacket, and although lyrically it’s a little different, I am guessing they heard Sam Cooke sing this song at some point. John Baldry’s powerful voice shines on this track. The message is lost on me because I am not the biggest fan of gospel music, the power of John Baldry’s voice cannot be denied.

Grade: B-

16. Shake (Sam Cooke)

The first Sam Cooke song Stewart recorded is a doozy. So much fun and so much energy. Listening to this song you can hear how much Rod loves Sam Cooke. Stewart has alway said he could never sing a Sam Cooke song better so he just tries to make it his own. And while “Shake” sticks pretty close to Sam’s Rod does Sam proud.

Grade: A

17. I Just Got Some (Willie Mason)

A blues song about, well *ahem* sex. Rod is really getting into a groove. HIs confidence is booming and it is conveyed in his delivery. He tones it down when needed and cranks it up when he needs to. I like this song and it moves well, never really slows down.

Grade: B+

18. I Could Feel the Whole World Turn Around (Ray Smith & Tony Colton)

Rod teams with Beryl Marsden (I think?) on this fun ditty that is slightly over produced but nevertheless breezy fun. Maybe that is he determent to the song. It feels safe, not challenging Rod or the band. But it is snappy and catchy.

Grade: B-

19. Come Home Baby (Barry Mann & Cynthia Well)

Rod teams up with P.P. Arnold on a fun track that gives each artist time to shine. Rod opens the song with, “I know just how bad I hurt you” it gives us a glimpse of what’s to come as Stewart is one of the best at phrasing lyrics. I think this is a hidden gem that begs to be heard.

Grade: A-

20. Stone Crazy (Buddy Guy)

Rod slows it way down to blues standard by the wonderful Buddy Guy. It sticks really close to original, but with not quite the same bite. Buddy and Rod both pour their hearts into the song but Buddy’s band is tighter making the song more cohesive. Not bad, but Rod would have more success soon in the blues department.

Grade: C+

21. Little Miss Understood (Mike D’Abo)

A slightly overindulgent song that is also slightly over produced and over sung but the lyrics about a woman who walks the streets to make money is brilliant. It is one song that I wish Rod would try again with a better understanding of lyric phrasing and a tighter overall production. The song is good though and it well worth a listen or two.

Grade: B

22. So Much to Say (Rod Stewart & Mike D’Abo)

Awesome! Rod’s first song writing credit! But, um yeah this song is just there. Rod tries his hand at blues again and the results are the best. Even Rod states in “Storyteller”, “A lousy wavering vocal here causes me to shudder in embarrassment.” I agree with Rod, back to the drawing board.

Grade: D

23. The Blues (unknown, can’t find a writing credit)

A much better foray into the blues by Stewart. The band sounds so much better and it isn’t just a piano like in “So Much to Say”. It’s a rollicking 4 minute blues song with a killer guitar solo. Also, I love that the band stops and lets Rod sing some lyrics with bass and drums before cranking it back up.

Grade: B-

24. Cloud Nine (Barrett Strong & Norman Whitfield)

More fighting guitars gives this blues song a heavy rock feel, Rod would really get into this very soon as a member of The Jeff Beck Group. But he is cutting his teeth here with killer results. Stewart is really coming into his own and would be just a couple of years from superstardom, “Cloud Nine” lays the foundation.

Grade: B+

25. Shock Treatment (?)

Yikes. I guess the big draw here is Frank Zappa produced this. I am glad it is only 1:47, it is a tough listen. It just is too much and too lame.

Grade: F

26. Diamond Joe (?)

Not sure who Rod is trying to sound like at the beginning of the song and I am not sure that it isn’t a joke, but about half way through he settles into a pretty fun rock song. With a funky bass and a driving force “Diamond Joe” is a little rough but fun.

Grade: B-

27. Engine 4444 (Art Wood)

Rod is second fiddle on this song featuring Art Wood. Nothing to write home about, but it is fun. And Rod loves trains, a theme he would return to many times in his career.

Grade: C+

28. In A Broken Dream (David Keith Bentley)

A fun story about this song, I will have Rod tell it to you, again this appears in “Storyteller”. “ This was only meant to be a demo, which I did for a friend in exchange for a new set of carpets for my automobile (he was a car salesman trying to enter the field of rock & roll management-a lethal combination). He said “I only want a guide vocal to show my new signing how it should be sung.” I, of course obliged like a friend. Subsequently, three years later, it was released and became a major hit in Europe. I was conned. Never mind, life goes on.” This is a brilliant song. So good and I hope Rod got the carpets he wanted for his car, he deserves them.

Grade: A+

Stay tuned for part two, In Which Our Hero Joins a Band or Two

Articles, blu-buried, Review

Blu-Buried: Design for Living (The Criterion Collection)

Gilda Farrell (Miriam Hopkins) a commercial artist is on a train to Paris. She stumbles upon two sleeping artists, one a painter George (Gary Cooper) and one a playwright Tom (Fredrick March). While they sleep Gilda draws them. This starts a platonic relationship with the men where they agree to live in an apartment together.

Both George and Tom love Gilda, but she refuses to have sex with either of them. When Tom’s play is read and produced in London, Tom leaves. Gilda and George soon can’t resist their budding romance and with one the greatest lines ever, Gilda states, “it was a gentleman’s agreement, but I am no gentleman”.

Tom finds out by telegram that Gilda and George are now together. Tom returns to Paris to find Gilda and George have moved into a penthouse. When Tom finds Gilda alone, they rekindle their romance. George returns and the three must solve their predicament.

Funny, brilliant and a pre-code winner, Design for Living is a must watch. Miriam Hopkins lights up the screen with snappy dialogue and it’s easy to see why she is the object of desire for the two men. The idea of that this film was made in 1933 is mind blowing. With sexual innuendos sprinkled throughout it still packs laughs nearly 90 years after its debut.

Ernst Lubitsch cut his teeth for nearly 20 years before he directed Design for Living and already had a working relationship with Miriam Hopkins a year earlier with the witty Trouble in Paradise. Lubitsch would go on to direct some of the best comedies ever, including a personal favorite To Be or Not to Be. Here he is at comfort moving the film along quite nicely with some great shots, including a crane shot following Gilda and a bunch of school boys up a flight of stairs.

Grade: A+

Design for Living Video Quality

Design for Living boards the Criterion Collection with a pleasing, but not too great transfer. My guess is this film was not well preserved and Criterion did what they could with it.

It does look really great in some moments.The details and the closeups look really sharp. The last third of the film really has blemishes with a scratch present for about 20 minutes and other imperfections that pop up in the frame. It’s a shame that some films were not well preserved by their studios, Design for Living deserved better, the disc is still great but one longs for a flawless transfer that I am sure does not exist.

Grade: B

Design for Living Audio Quality

Design for Living makes it to the back of theater with a robust soundtrack. Although the audio track is only mono, it is crisp. Gone is most of the background hiss that can plague older films. Criterion cleaned the soundtrack up nicely with crystal clear dialogue well heard throughout the runtime.

Grade: A-

Design for Living Bonus Features

Joseph McBride: The Screenplay: A great interview with screenwriter Joseph McBride as he talks about the play and the film including their differences and similarities.

The Clerk: A short, funny segment starring Charles Laughton, directed by Lubitsch from the film, If I Had a Million.

Play of the Week-A Choice of Coward: 1964 British production of Design for Living. It’s introduced by the playwright of Design for Living, Noel Coward.

Selected Scene Commentary: Lubitsch biographer William Paul is on hand to discuss the film, totaling nearly 40 minutes.

Grade: A-

Funny, racy a must watch. Design for Living is a new Golden-Age favorite. I am a fan of Miriam Hopkins. She is funny and charming. Gary Cooper and Fredrick March always bring the goods, put all three together with one of the best directors around and you have a can’t miss blind-buy.

Overall: A-

Articles

The Great Sal Buscema: Spidey Super Stories

Happy Birthday Spidey! You’re 60 years young today! As the unofficial birthday of Spider-Man is celebrated today I thought I would share with you some of my most favorite covers and some pages from my most favorite Spider-Man artist Sal Buscema!

Most everybody (rightfully) will choose Steve Ditko, John Romita Sr and Jr, Gil Kane, Mark Bagley or Todd McFarlane as their favorite Spidey artist. And they would be right as well. For me however there is no better storyteller in comics than Sal. HIs lines are clean, his panels easy to follow and I fell in love with him when I first started collecting comics. In fact, I still own and remember my first comic book. It is The Spectacular Spider-Man #182, the fifth part of one of the greatest (and most underrated) Spider-Man stories ever, “The Child Within”. My dad bought it for me at Mile High Comics after I showed him my comic book card I got, Spider-Man vs. The Green Goblin. I love that comic and my copy is well worn. I’ve read it many times and study the story and the art. Of course my head couldn’t understand the incredibly deep story of abuse and betrayal at a young age, but Sal’s haunting art stayed with me.

So I ask you humble reader of this website or listener to my show, if you have never picked up a comic book illustrated by Sal Buscema, you really should. Not only has he drawn Spider-Man, but also his run on Hulk and The Defenders is legendary. Sal’s ability to tell a story visually is unmatched. It is the single most important aspect of a comic that is sometimes missing. Some artists draw beautifully, but if I can’t easily follow the story, what’s the point? On Sal’s art I cover the word balloons and follow the story visually, and Sal is the best at that. I am not alone in this assessment, J.M Dematteis stated on his website for The Spectacular Spider-Man 200 he had other plans then what ended up in the comic;

“ Then Sal’s pages came in: It was one of his finest hours. The panel flow was cinematic and crystal clear, the characters dramatic and achingly human. And those final two pages? Perfection! At first locked into my original vision I began writing captions and dialogue for the end-sequence, but it quickly became clear that everything I wanted to say had already been said, and better, by Sal” (do yourself a favor and checkout J.M. Dematteis’ website jmdematteis.com he posts some really great stuff there and he is an incredible writer making your journey there a grand one). I couldn’t have said it better.

Here are my favorite Sal Buscema Spider-Man covers and some pages, enjoy!

Captain America #137 (May 1971)

You want dynamic? You got it with Captain America and Falcon chasing after Spidey! One of the most iconic covers ever, the intensity is here and Sal’s ability to convey the story in a single image is ever so present. Falcon is after Spidey in this issue and when Falcon mistakes Harry Osborn as Spider-Man, it sets up an epic fight in the following issue.

The Spectacular Spider-Man 148 (March, 1989)

Spider-Man is always haunted by death. This ghoulish cover exploits that with Peter being haunted by two people that have died under his watch, Ned Leeds and his first love Gwen Stacy. The cover is the right amount of macabre and terror. The idea of two of your biggest mistakes returning from the grave is horrific, which Sal captures perfectly.

The Spectacular Spider-Man 156 (November, 1989)

Spider-Man fighting a monster hillbilly? Sign me up! The power of Banjo is conveyed in this dynamic cover. Also a fun note. I have an original art page from this issue, yes my love of Sal did not go unnoticed by my comic supplier Andrew. He got an original art page from this comic into his store and called me immediately. He only had it in his store for 45 minutes before he sold it to me. But he is such a good dude that he bought just for me and gave me one hell of a deal knowing that it would never leave me, until I am dead.

The Spectacular Spider-Man 179 (August 1991)

A rooftop battle between Spider-Man and Vermin is perfectly captured. The contrast of the two characters is on full display as Sal has Spidey in control of his stance, ready to fight. Vermin does not care and his animal instincts take over when he fights, his hunched posture and foaming at the mouth show an adversary not to take lightly.

Spider-Man vs. The Green Goblin, The Spectacular Spider-Man 189 (June 1992)

The almost climatic battle between former best friends, Harry Osborn and Peter Parker reaches its crescendo when Peter is tired of Harry’s incessant tormenting, of not only him but also his wife Mary Jane and Harry’s own family. Harry believe’s Peter only cares that he knows he’s Spider-Man. Peter doesn’t care. He tells Harry after he knocks him out cold that he’s dealt with worse. Meaning I have been dealing with you and your father issues and drug abuse for years, telling the world Spider-Man is Peter Parker doesn’t matter

The Spectacular Spider-Man 200 (May 1993)

One of the greatest comics ever. One of the greatest covers ever. Celebrating Spidey’s first 30 years, Marvel gave each of his core books cool covers with webbing in the background. Amazing had Spidey and Venom squaring off with gold webbing and Web of Spider-Man debuted a new Spider-Man costume, Spider-Armor with green webs. Spectacular had both beat, with an incredible story and art to match. Harry Osborn is my favorite Green Goblin. He is conflicted and his death is this issue is as heartbreaking as it is inevitable. The story that spanned over nearly two years of the Spectacular comic. Not only is the cover eye catching the art contained inside is just as jaw dropping.

The fight between Spider-Man and Green Goblin is brutal. Sal’s art makes you feel each punch, kick that each man delivers.

After leaving Peter to die, Harry doesn’t realize that his son, Normie is still in the house. So too is Mary Jane. Peter pleads with Harry to save them and leave him. Harry does.

When he brings Mary Jane and Normie to safety, Mary Jane screams at Harry, “And my husband is in there? You left Peter in there to die?!”

Harry saves Peter. But he can’t save himself. He dies from the effects of the Goblin Formula.

Sal’s art is so good that the last two pages have no dialogue. It’s not needed. The story is beautifully told through Sal’s art. My favorite panel is Mary Jane’s face when Peter puts his hand on her shoulder. Her pain and his pain is felt, and you can’t even see Peter’s face.

The Spectacular Spider-Man 218 (November, 1994)

The intensity of this cover is eye popping. Sal does so much with only two figures on the page. In this one cover you know Spider-Man is fighting for his life against Puma. His torn costume and his feet pushing the attacking enemy away convey a fight to the death. Man, this is a great cover.

The Spectacular Spider-Man 226 (July, 1995)

The idea of two Spider-Men squaring off is awesome. The execution of this issue however pissed me off. Peter is reveled as a clone and lame Ben Reilly is said to be the one “true” Spider-Man. It doesn’t take away from Sal’s incredible line work on this cover. I love how intense the image is again without seeing the faces of the Spider-Men. I love this cover, it is easily a top 5 for me. It just is so cool with just two figures.

And to show Sal’s incredible versatility, here is an issue of Our Love Story, which I own because I love this cover and the story Sal tells.

Our Love Story 12 (August, 1971)

I hope you enjoyed some of my favorite Sal Buscema art. He’s my favorite Spider-Man artist and I hope that if you are discovering him for the first time he might be yours too.

Articles, blu-buried, Review

Blu-Buried: The New Kids

Loren (Shannon Presby) and Abby (Lori Laughlin) are brother and sister. They love their dad, “Mac” MacWilliams (Tom Atkinson) and do a weird obstacle in the morning and punch a bag. He leaves that afternoon to receive an award, but tragically dies on the way home with their mother.

Loren and Abby are adopted by their Uncle Charlie (Eddie Jones) and go to Florida to live with him on his rundown amusement park and gas station.

At school Abby meets Mark (Eric Stoltz) and they start to flirt. Less accommodating to the new kids are a gang of no-good buttheads lead by Dutra (James Spader).

When Abby rejects Dutra he wages war on them and it leads to a showdown at the amusement park.

The New Kids was directed by Sean S. Cunningham (Friday the 13th) and he never fully captures the spirit of that film as The New Kids sorta just drags along. Cunningham also seems bored as he doesn’t push himself at all, where Friday the 13th had edge and a driving force, here he just points his camera at stuff and lets it play out.

The cast is quite good. James Spader delivers a menacing performance that does fill the film with dread. Shannon Presby is fine as the brother and Lori Laughlin is nicely cast as the friendly, pretty girl.

The soundtrack is awful. The opening montage song is a Kenny Loggins wanna be that isn’t catchy or interesting.

The climax is fun but it does take awhile to get there, especially for only a 90 minute film, it feels way longer.

Grade: C

The New Kids Video Quality

The New Kids slug it out on an ok not great transfer from the folks at Mill Creek. I am not sure how much Mill Creek could have done with this film as the colors are not that eye-popping. Most of the film takes place in drab Florida, it does excel in the day time when more light is afforded the film.

Grade: B-

The New Kids Audio Quality

The New Kids bring a 9mm to the gun fight when they needed a shotgun. The film sounds fine with the dialogue coming through clearly but the film again is not that much of a home theater thumper. I don’t blame Mill Creek as the audio mix is just ok for the film anyways.

Grade: C+

The New Kids Extras

No extras to be found on the disc, lame. But the retro packing in the style of a VHS tape from a rental store is dope.

Grade: D

The New Kids Overall

Meh. The New Kids is an ok movie. It struggles with what it wants to be, is it a thriller, a drama or a horror film. Maybe a little of both. The direction by Sean Cunningham is uninspired but the young cast is stellar. Mill Creek’s retro tape release of The New Kids isn’t going to win any awards, but at least it’s on blu-ray. For fans of teen angst drama with some violence.

Overall: C

Articles, Review, Show Time

Show Time: The 5 BIGGEST PLOTHOLES in “The Empire Strikes Back”

“Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back” might be a masterclass in cinema, but even it’s not perfect. After seeing it twice this weekend on the big screen, I can’t help but scratch my head about some of the writing and character decisions in this film.

Now, there are plenty of things I could be pedantic about — like Anthony Daniels’ C-3PO clearly breathing in the background as Han and Leia talk about the “Lando system” — but, for the sake of everyone’s time, I’m going to focus on the five biggest plotholes I noticed this time around.

Are you ready?

To be honest, I made the title click-bait-y on purpose. I wanted to see if this would get any more traction than my previous posts. Really, the title should’ve been “5 Questions I Have About ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ After My 131st Rewatch”.

I am going to be talking about things that I think might be plotholes, but don’t think of it as “the logic in this scene makes no sense, therefore this movie is dumb.” Think of it more as “Hey, George Lucas & Co., I have questions about this.”

So, I’ll pose each possible plothole as a question. Maybe there are explanations out there in the novelization, or other Star Wars media, and I’m just not privy to them. I’ll also try to come up with my own explanations as best as I can.

I also won’t pretend that I’m the first person to think of or share these questions/possible plotholes; there are definitely one or two of these that I know fellow Star Wars fans have questioned before.

Just want to say again that I do love “The Empire Strikes Back.” I’m not trying to hate on it; I’m just trying to pose legitimate questions I have with the universe’s logistics and the character choices, and maybe start some discussions with fellow fans about these questions.

With all that said, let’s dive in:

#1: What exactly was Vader’s plan for attacking Hoth, especially if his main goal was to capture Luke?

This was maybe the biggest question I had coming out of the rewatch this weekend. We see throughout the whole film (and in the Star Wars/Vader comics set before this time period) that Vader is willing to do anything to find his son. So, why would he risk an assault on the Rebel base when he’s “sure Skywalker is with them”?

Luke almost dies not once but three times in the Battle of Hoth sequence. His gunner Dak gets killed; then, his speeder takes a direct hit and crashes; and then he almost gets crushed by one of the AT-ATs. (Granted, that last one was mostly on him, as he was trying to grab something out of the back of the speeder.)

Any one of the speeder pilots/gunners or ground troopers theoretically could’ve been Luke, and we see the AT-ATs just shooting at all of them with abandon. Was Vader so confident that Luke would survive the battle?

Moreover, what was Vader’s original plan? Because he had to change plans after “Ozzell came out of lightspeed too close to the system.” So, he wanted the Empire to start its attack from farther away… Why?

The Rebels were confident that the Empire was on its way so they’d already started the evacuation process, but maybe Vader didn’t know that. Maybe the probe never relayed that it’d encountered hostiles and self-destructed, or maybe it did, but Piett or someone didn’t relay that information to Vader. So, maybe Vader assumed that the Rebels didn’t know the Empire was coming and wanted to do some kind of long-range attack… but wouldn’t that still endanger Luke’s life?

If I was Vader, I would’ve had the fleet come out of lightspeed in a spot where it’d be out-of-range of Rebels’ scans but still close enough to Hoth to launch ships from. Then, I would’ve sent the Imperial equivalent of Seal Team 6 to infiltrate the base and extract Luke alive and bring him back to the Imperial Fleet. Then, I would’ve had the Imperial Forces attack the Rebel base, whether that was a long-range bombardment, ground assault, or whatever. OR I would’ve pulled a Voldemort and demanded Luke surrender himself or the Rebel base would be destroyed.

If I had to make a guess as to why Vader seemed confident Luke wouldn’t get killed in the crossfire, I’d say maybe Vader was using the Force to protect him somehow. Luke’s ship does take a direct hit; but rather than his ship blowing up, it’s only disabled and crashes. Maybe Vader was using the Force to influence the world around him to ensure Luke survived. I don’t know. Or maybe Vader was able to see enough of the future to realize Luke would survive the battle. But, all of these are just guesses.

With the biggest one out of the way, I’m going to tackle the rest of these in chronological order (as seen in the film):

#2: Everything about the Wampa makes no sense.

I know I’m not the first person to ask “Why didn’t Luke just kill the Wampa and stay in the cave?” But, everything else about the Wampa seems illogical.

First of all, how did such a big creature sneak up on Luke when Luke was just scanning for lifeforms AND physically looking around for any movement in a big open area? If the Wampa design had looked more like a snow leopard or a mountain lion, I would’ve understood. Those creatures are designed to sneak up on their prey and then pounce on them quickly and quietly. However, the Wampa is designed like a Yeti, which is a nice send up to the myth, but doesn’t make any sense. If Luke hadn’t been scanning for lifeforms and had been riding through an area where the Wampa could’ve jumped out and struck him, that would’ve been more logical.

Second, how does the Wampa stick Luke to the ceiling of its cave? Luke seems to be sealed in place with ice. How did the Wampa make such a trap considering the freezing conditions on the planet? Everything seems to be frozen already. So Luke being stuck to the ceiling via ice implies that the Wampa somehow melted snow, then somehow got this liquid on the ceiling (presumably, while holding Luke in place) and it froze again in a short amount of time. I don’t get the logistics of that. I could theorize that maybe there’s something about that cave (like a thermal hotspot) that allows snow/water to heat and refreeze quickly, but nothing else in the cave seems to indicate that.

Third, how did the Wampa recognize that the lightsaber was a weapon and take it off Luke’s person before imprisoning him in his makeshift freezer? Perhaps the Wampa is smarter than we give it credit for. Maybe it’s more akin to Chewbacca — with reason and intellect — than a mere animal. But, considering that human/oids don’t live natively on Hoth and this might be the first time the Wampa has ever encountered a human/oid, how does it understand human weaponry?

And, finally, yes, why doesn’t Luke just kill the Wampa and stay in the cave? I’ll chalk that one up to “adrenaline” and “not making the best decision under pressure” and “wanting to get away from danger ASAP.” But, for the rest… I have no idea.

#3: Why do AT-ATs exist? Or, at least, why does the Empire use them during the Battle of Hoth?

Again, I know I’m not the first person to point this out, but I fail to see the tactical advantage of large, four-legged walking tanks in a society where spacecraft and hovercraft exist. Hell, even in our world, we have tanks.

Hovercraft tanks exist in the prequels, so why didn’t the Empire have something like that? Why didn’t the Empire create something like a giant Snowcat/tank thing that can plow through any terrain and is nigh indestructible?

As we see with both the AT-ATs in this movie and the AT-STs in the sequel, the legs create too many vulnerabilities. If even one leg is compromised, damaged or destroyed, the whole thing collapses. I know tanks have their weaknesses too, but at least the hovering ones we see in the prequels seem to have fewer flaws than the AT-ATs do.

Also, the AT-ATs presumably get down there via ship, meaning the Rebel base’s shield doesn’t stop physical ships from getting through. So, why doesn’t the Empire just send down TIE fighters or other strike ships to do low-elevation bombing runs or something? Or at least do both AT-ATs and TIE fighters?

From an aesthetical sense, the AT-ATs look pretty menacing, and I suppose it’s a send-up of war elephants or something. I mean, I don’t hate them, but it’s definitely something you shouldn’t think about too hard.

#4: Why does Vader only sense some things with the Force?

This is mainly a question as to why Vader doesn’t sense the Falcon after it attaches to the Star Destroyer Avenger. It could also apply to why Vader doesn’t sense Luke when he’s still on Hoth.

So, at the beginning of the movie, Vader sees the image of the Rebel base that the probe droid sends in. He immediately recognizes that it’s the Rebel base the Empire’s been looking for, despite what the Imperial officers believe. Presumably, it’s because he could sense it was the Rebels via the Force.

Then, when he arrives on Hoth, Vader immediately starts going after the Falcon. In the comics set before ESB, it’s established how Vader knows Luke often flies aboard the Falcon. So, it’s possible he went after the Falcon believing Luke to be aboard or — at minimum — to capture Luke’s friends and force Luke to come to him. Either way, Vader gets what he wants.

But, then after the Falcon flies away, why doesn’t Vader sense that Luke is still on Hoth? In both ESB and ROTJ, Vader is able to sense Luke if they’re in relatively close proximity to each other (like maybe 10-20 miles). So, why doesn’t that work on Hoth?

Later, as the Falcon is hiding in the asteroid field, Vader just knows that everyone aboard is alive. How? I guess it’s through the Force somehow, but how does he know they’re alive but not know where exactly in the asteroid field they are?

Then, as I said, when the Falcon attaches to the back of the Avenger, why Vader can’t sense that Han, Leia & co. are in close proximity?

My guess — and this is just a guess — is that there are two separate Force abilities at work here. We’ll call it Force-sensing and Force-clairvoyance.

Starting with what I’ll call Force-clairvoyance: this is what Vader’s using when he recognizes the Rebel base and when he states that the Falcon‘s crew is alive. He can’t “sense” it per se, but he just knows it. It’s more akin to a gut feeling.

Now, with what I’m calling Force-sensing, I think this is when Force-sensitives are able to sense each other specifically. Maybe being a Force-sensitive “warps” the Force around you — think like how mass impacts gravity. Maybe each Force-sensitive person is like a planet, and the stronger they are, the more they warp the space/Force/environment around them. Not literally, but only on ‘the plane of the Force’ or something. Thus, one Force-sensitive person can feel another based on the way the Force warps in their general area — a “presence,” if you will.

This happens in “Star Wars: Rebels.” Kanan and Ezra are able to sense Vader’s presence near them, despite having never encountered him before. Vader also has a unique presence based on his emotional state – rage, coldness, anger. So, when they encounter him later in the two-part episode, they recognize he’s the one piloting the TIE fighter based on his presence.

Lots of Force-sensitives do this with each other, and their ability to feel each other’s presence seems to be based on: how powerful each of them is; how physically close they are; and how emotionally close they are. That’s why Kylo Ren is able to sense Rey in TROS, and why Vader can sense Obi-Wan in ANH.

Granted, maybe they can’t give an exact location, but if a new ship arrives in your area and you suddenly sense another Force-sensitive in the general vicinity, there’s a good chance the person you’re sensing is aboard the ship. This is exactly what happens between Vader and Obi-Wan in ANH and Vader and Luke in ROTJ.

So, this explains why Vader can sense Luke at the end of ESB, but why doesn’t it work between them on Hoth?

My guess is that Luke isn’t that strong with the Force yet, and thus doesn’t create as much warp in the Force or have a strong presence yet, as he does after training with Yoda. (Hence why Vader says “The Force is with you, young Skywalker.) Vader and Luke are also a lot closer emotionally — meaning that there’s a lot of strong feelings between them, not necessarily positive ones — after the Cloud City duel. Their fates are more tightly bound together after the duel, allowing them both to sense each other much more easily at the end of ESB and later in ROTJ.

Anyway, that’s a lot of explanation to close a plothole that I pointed out, but that’s the best guess I have.

#5: Why does Luke chase after Vader during the duel?

So, Luke is dueling Vader on the carbon-freezing platform, and Vader falls off. Luke then follows him. Why?

Luke’s main concern in going to Cloud City was to save his friends. He’d just seen how Leia & co. were in custody right before entering the carbon-freezing chamber. However, he was tricked into following them and is essentially trapped by Vader in the chamber. Once Vader falls off the platform, though, the one obstacle keeping Luke in that chamber is gone. Why wouldn’t he get out of there and rescue his friends? (There are other ways in and out of there besides the trap door he came through.) But, no, he decides to follow Vader down into the bowels of Cloud City.

My guess is that Luke felt it was his duty to try to stop Vader. He knows who this guy is and the evil he’s capable of. After pushing him off the platform, maybe Luke felt like he had Vader on the backfoot and wanted to finish the job.

He was also, generally, overconfident and riding high on his Jedi training with Yoda, and clearly didn’t realize just how powerful Vader is. I guess it was just another indication of Luke’s hubris. He should’ve taken a (paraphrased) lesson from “30 Rock”: Never follow Darth Vader to a second location.

###

So those are my five “biggest” “plotholes.” Again, this is more to prompt discussion than anything else. Do you have any thoughts? Feel free to comment on the Reel Nerds social media pages or email us: reelnerds@gmail.com. Would love to hear what you think!

Articles, Freakin' Sweet Family Guy, Review

Family Guy: Ryan’s Ultimate Freakin’ Sweet Review of Every Episode Part 8

Season 3, Episode 19 “Stuck Together, Torn Apart”

Lois has had it with Peter’s jealousy, that he’s even jealous of her gynecologist. Worried that it will only get worse, Lois forces Peter to go to marriage counselor. He recommends that they see different people. Lois goes out with Quagmire, Peter is set up by Mort with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Elsewhere, Brian and Stewie glue their hands together and are stuck with each other for two weeks while they wait for the solvent to set them free.

A fine episode, and delivering some good laughs. Stewie and Brian being stuck together works great, the A-Story of Peter and Lois is funny and a nice reminder why they love each other. The flashbacks of Peter’s jealousy hits the comedic charm, especially when he yells at Hugh Grant at a movie theater and Chris shouts, “Don’t do it dad! He’s bigger than you!”

Grade: B

Season 3, Episode 20 “Road to Europe”

Obsessed with the British TV show, “Jolly Time Revue” and wishing to leave Quahog, Stewie makes his way to the airport. Brian tries to stop Stewie but they both end up as stowaways on a plane, that lands not in England but the Middle East.

After a musical number to distract while they steal a camel, Stewie and Brian make their way across Europe by hot air balloon and train.

Stewie finally makes it to Jolly Time Farm and is heartbroken that its all fake and the actors on the show are not the characters he loves.

While Stewie and Brian are on their adventure, Peter and Lois attend a KISS concert. Peter is heartbroken when he learns that Lois isn’t a fan and embarrasses him at the concert by singing the wrong lyric to a song. Peter still upset decides to go to Denny’s. When he gets there KISS is also there. Peter is shocked to learn that Lois dated Gene SImmons and earned the nickname “Loose Lois”.

The Road to…, episodes are all winners. Hats off to the writers and Seth MacFarlane for crushing a parody of “You and I Are So Awfully Different”. Any chance the writers of Family Guy try and offend a culture or a person they usually succeed without being overly offensive, and no one is safe in this episode. From the Pope to the English, the writing is sharp in this episode.

Grade: A-

Season 3, Episode 21, “Family Guy Viewer Mail #1”

Introduced by Ron MacFarlane (Seth’s dad) “Family Guy Viewer Mail #1” is three short episodes that play as what if’s. Peter finds a genie and gets three wishes, The Griffins get super powers and a Family Guy version of Little Rascals.

Each short has nothing to do with the last or the show for that matter but they are really funny. One of Peter’s wishes to have his own theme music is great (and catchy). So too is the introduction of the super powers that they all get, except Meg. And it is really cute to see the Griffins with really big heads and cute in The Little Rascals parody.

Grade: B+

Season 3, unaired “When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”

After losing their “rainy-day” money to a scam artist for Volcano Insurance, Lois demands Peter get the money back for new glasses for Meg. Peter who is at a loss of what to do turns to his friends. He learns from Quagmire and Cleveland that their finances are handled by men with Jewish-sounding names.

Peter lucks into Max Weinstein after he sings the song, “I Need a Jew” who after Peter chases down in a foot chase agrees to help him get his money back.

“When You Wish Upon a Weinstein” was originally supposed to air in 2000. But fearing that it was too anti-Semitic Fox scrapped it. It made it’s debut on Adult Swim and on the Special Features of Volume 2 of the DVDs.

I am not sure how offensive it is, but the episode isn’t the best Family Guy has to offer. There is fun to be had, but the premise doesn’t sustain itself for the whole episode. Mark Hamill appearing as a laser eye surgeon with his light saber is a highlight.

Grade: C

Season 4, Episode 1 “North by North Quahog”

Family Guy returns after being off the air for over 2 years. Peter runs through all the shows Fox cancelled in the cold opening in the time Family Guy has been gone.

The episode really starts after that with Lois yelling out George Clooney’s name during sex. Lois believes that they need to rekindle the fire in their marriage and she and Peter decide to go on a second honeymoon.

While they are gone, Brian is put in charge of the kids. Brian struggles with it and enlists Stewie for help. They end up chaperoning at the middle school where they bust Jake and his upside down face with alcohol.

Peter wrecks his car on the way to their honeymoon because he is distracted by reading a Jughead comic (it’s a great use of animation) and the Griffins get tangled up with the Catholic Church and Mel Gibson’s sequel to The Passion of the Christ.

Although it was off the air for two years, Family Guy did not miss a beat. In fact, the pressure was all on them to deliver and for the most part they do. I had to look it up, Peter names 29 shows that were cancelled on Fox since Family Guy last aired and watching this episode again recently, I couldn’t even remember 80% of them. It also has clever lines like when the news cuts to Tricia Takanowa who says “I’m standing outside Manhattan’s new Park Barrington Hotel because they don’t allow Asians inside.”

Family Guy did not lose its bite.

Grade: A-

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