Month: January 2018

Art House Asshole : The Insult

Do you ever want to feel artistically superior to all of your friends? Maybe you are tired of your friends talking about how great the latest action film is and want to sound better. Maybe you want to impress your date with obscure film trivia. Maybe you think that knowing a lot about film history and art will somehow validate your meaningless existence and will replace that ever-growing pit in your heart that tells you that you don’t matter and no one cares about you. Well, don’t worry! Because I watch a bunch of art house films and can give you recommendations on what to watch and what to feel superior about! So without any delay, let’s get pretentious!

When the trailer for this film was released, I was pretty much constantly rolling my eyes at it. It was promoting the director and a film he has made, which I haven’t heard of but that doesn’t knock its quality. Other than that it just listed a bunch of films nominated for Best Foreign Film in the past couple of years and boasted about this film having the same distributor. And that typically isn’t a good sign. But for a company that takes pride in its distributor, the sure did a botched up job with the subtitles. There was no outline or drop shadow on the subtitles and the film is very bright. This leads to the subtitles being difficult to read due to them blending into the picture. So if you by chance are distributing a film in another country anytime soon, please keep it in mind to back your subtitles legible.

So The Insult is the new film from Lebanon by director Ziad Doueiri, known for The Attack according to the trailer. The film follows two men in Lebanon, one a member of the Christian Party played by Adel Karam and one a Palestinian Refugee played by Kamel El Basha. The two get into an altercation, starting with Basha cursing at Karam, Basha then goes to apologize, Karem insults Basha’s heritage, then Basha assaults Karem, then the rest of the film is the court case between the two. I won’t say what the actual insult is, as that is clearly what the trailer is hiding. But given the fact that one is a member of the Christian Party and one is a Palestinian, you could probably put two and two together and get the picture.

The film can really shift what the audience’s opinion on the film depending on where the audience already lies in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. This is a very political film. And although it does attempt to give two sides, you can clearly see the filmmakers opinion on the matter. And if your opinion lines up or is different from the directors, you can easily either love or hate this film. My opinion on the matter is pretty in line with the directors, but I still had quite a few problems with the film.

The first problem is that the film lacks any real subtlety. I know how the court was going to rule and how the two would react within the first thirty minutes. And I knew this because they specifically make one side out to be almost villain like. And once the courtroom drama starts, it really follows all of those cliches. Which is also irrelevant because all of the arguments that are presented throughout are meaningless by the time they present the final piece. Because the courts’ decision is just in the one piece. It kind of makes the rest of the film just meaningless. And the film still ends as expected, making the film insufferably pointless. It’s just frustrating, given the fact that the film is asking a somewhat interesting question. That combined with the multiple scenes screaming, “Look! They aren’t so different!”, makes the film pretty eye rolling.

One of the positives is that the two actors who play the main characters are very good. Looking at their history, Adel Karam is very new to film acting as well as Kamel El Basha who is an established theater actor but is also fairly new to film acting. The two do a great job although they play annoyingly stubborn characters without much depth. There is depth to the characters but the film doesn’t give them nearly enough time for the performers to show talent with that depth. And what is worse is that around halfway through the main characters essentially shift from those two to their lawyers, who are far less interesting and far worse actors.

The film does get a bit interesting when the court case becomes known nationwide and the two are painted into being and having opinions they don’t have. Again, unfortunately, this is not explored nearly enough. But it was a bit interesting.

Overall, I’m a little surprised that this ended up being nominated for the Oscar, as it is one of the worst foreign films I’ve seen from this year. And it has many problems beyond its hard-hitting political message. There are a few positives for the film, but not enough to out warrant its major shortcomings. Maybe I’ll watch the filmmakers other film, The Attack, maybe that will be something worth checking out. But I’d say that this film is pretty forgettable and not worth your time.

Ep. 332: Bear Nerds Padcast

The Reel Nerds are back for seconds when they review Paddington 2.

Ep. 331: Post Haste

It’s all the news that’s fit to print when the Reel Nerds review The Post.

White Coats : Vampyros Lesbos

A PSYCHO-SEXADELIC HORROR FREAKOUT!

So I’ve been meaning to watch this one for awhile. Vampyros Lesbos is arguably the most famous film directed by exploitation master Jesús Franco. The poster for this film of Soledad Miranda sitting with her legs open wearing what appears to be only a scarf is pretty iconic. But also on top of everything, the film is called Vampyros Lesbos for christ sake. Why wouldn’t I be interested in this film? So yeah. This review is for Vampyros Lesbos.

Vampyros Lesbos is Jesús Franco’s 36th film and fits his standard fare. Female main character, obviously a lot of sex and nudity, and long scenes taking place in a Strip Club. The difference from the rest of his work up until this point is the fact that the main character is a lesbian. Or has lesbian tendencies. Or isn’t a lesbian but is hypnotized. Or is a lesbian but wants to suppress it. Or is a lesbian and doesn’t want to suppress it but is in a mental institution where everyone is super cool with her being a lesbian. Honestly, I got a little lost along the way. But the important part is the main character is a lesbian.

Vampyros Lesbos follows a woman named Linda who is played by a Swedish Actress named Ewa Strömberg. Fun fact about Strömberg, she was a fairly successful actress in Sweden before working on this film with Franco. This is the first of five films that she made with Franco in 1971, then she was so fed up with Jesús Franco that she retired and was never seen ever again. So that’s neat. Anyway, Linda is kind of just hanging out in Turkey. Meanwhile, Nadine, a beautiful vampire gets her rocks off by luring people into her nightclub and eating/killing/having sex with them. Nadine is like “Hey! I’m going to get this Linda girl up in this club!” And then she does that.

The film opens with this strange lap dance performed by Soledad Miranda. And in case you are unaware of who Soledad Miranda is, her story is pretty interesting. She was a Spanish pop singer and occasional actress. She made a cameo in one of Franco’s earlier films before being the poster figure for this film. Her husband was a famous race car driver. The two had a child in 1967, which prompted Miranda to retire from media for a bit to raise her family. She eventually returned with her first big film that she returned with being Vampyros Lesbos. Tragically she and her husband were in a car crash shortly after this film wrapped production and she was killed before the film was ever released. But anyway, the film starts with this art-house like lap dance performed by her.

Then Linda is hypnotized and then goes to the island. A guy tells her she shouldn’t go to the island and she asks why, to which he tells her to meet her in the basement that night. That night Linda goes downstairs and sees that dude torturing someone and he is all surprised when she walks in on him. This was confusing to me because I genuinely don’t know what he was expecting. Either this wasn’t planned and he just accidentally started torturing this person in the basement while he was setting up refreshments to meet with Linda, time got away from him and then Linda walks in while he is torturing the person. OR, this was his way of flirting with Linda. Like hey, come to the basement and we can torture this bloke together. And he was just shocked that she wasn’t into it. Regardless, she then goes to the island.

So Linda and the Countess Vampire start hanging out naked and having sex with each other and it’s whatever. Honestly after the lap dance scene, in the beginning, I was like “I’ve seen it all now so the mystery is gone” so I didn’t care about the two sunbathing naked. While these two are doing all this stuff, Goth Art Garfunkel is just kind of hanging out. Goth Art Garfunkel is played by Andre Monales, a Spanish actor who has acted in two films, Vampyros Lesbos, and the redundantly named Nightmares Come at Night. Goth Art Garfunkel I thought was Nadine’s assistant. After reading the Wikipedia page for this film I found out that he is actually her husband. Who knew. Goth Art Garfunkel spends the rest of the film trying to stop their romance in a very Looney Tunes fashion. It’s kind of bullshit and I totally didn’t care about anything he was doing.

I’m getting bored just writing about this so here is the long and short of the rest of the film, Linda wakes up in a hospital the next day and is super disturbed and (in love?). Doctors try to help her. That doesn’t work. She hangs out with Nadine a couple more times. Then everyone dies. But yeah, that’s the story of the film.

One thing I haven’t mentioned is that there are a bunch of symbolism shots in the film throughout. Like a shot of a butterfly, a grasshopper, and a kite. I’m sure they represent something but I don’t care at all. The opening lap dance set the tone and I didn’t adjust after that for some art-house symbolism bullshit. So if you cut those parts out the film would probably be shorter but I imagine anyone watching this film is probably fast-forwarding through those parts anyway.

This film is exactly what you expect and a bit more. Not a lot more. The film is actually pretty well and interestingly shot for a film of this nature. But you know, it’s a Jesús Franco film. You are going to walk away thinking “Yeah, that was a Jesús Franco film”. If you are expecting anything different, you must be new to these parts.

Ep. 330: Why, Tonya?

The Reel Nerds skate through their review of I, Tonya.

Art House Asshole : Faces Places

Do you ever want to feel artistically superior to all of your friends? Maybe you are tired of your friends talking about how great the latest action film is and want to sound better. Maybe you want to impress your date with obscure film trivia. Maybe you think that knowing a lot about film history and art will somehow validate your meaningless existence and will replace that ever-growing pit in your heart that tells you that you don’t matter and no one cares about you. Well, don’t worry! Because I watch a bunch of art house films and can give you recommendations on what to watch and what to feel superior about! So without any delay, let’s get pretentious!

Whelp. Fuck it. I don’t get it. Sorry. I choose to watch this film because it has been on my radar since it released. And now it is considered a frontrunner for Best Documentary, and there have been some seriously good documentaries this year. So I had to check it out. Caught one of the last screenings I could find. Bundled into the small theater and my god what an insanely boring film. I don’t like using that word when reviewing a film, “boring”. But it is really the only word that I can come up with to describe watching this film.

Faces Places is a documentary co-directed by contemporary artist/photographer JR and cinema legend Agnes Varda. The film follows the two of them as they travel around France meeting people and pasting art across various buildings and places around the country. The real issue I have with the film is that this could have easily been a really good seven-minute long short film. But instead, it’s an hour and a half.

There is really no variety to the film. After the two do the first art installation, you really see everything the film has to offer. After that first installation, you understand what they are doing, you see the process of putting the art up, and you see the reaction of the subject. Unfortunately, it doesn’t change from there. They then go to the next location and repeat the same process. You understand what they are doing, you see the process of putting the art up, and you see the reaction. None of these three steps is very different from location to location, with the exception of one piece on a beach. Thankfully the film is short enough to make this not detrimental.

Another issue I have with the film might only be an issue I have and is surrounding the idea of what a documentary stands for. In my mind, a documentary is giving truth to a subject. And because of this, I have a problem with obviously fabricated elements in a documentary. And that ranges from the story being fabricated to elements such as sound dubbing and re-shoots. I like it when a documentary needs to put in subtitles or the cameraman goes the extra mile to get an angle. And when there are scenes in this film where it has clearly gone through ADR, that bothers me. It takes me out and it makes me question the authenticity of the film. But again, that might be a problem that only affects me.

One thing that I do appreciate about the film, and is probably something that the filmmakers didn’t intend, is how the subjects react whenever the piece of art goes up. Now of course when it goes up some of the subjects are very grateful and are moved by it. But more often than not, the subjects just kind of stand there awkwardly and giving the “I don’t get it, but it clearly means a lot to you” face. Now I’m very well versed in this face. I went to an art based high school and am currently attending an Art College. I know this look, I’ve seen it at myself and I’ve seen it at others. The look has the eyes of confusion with a slight smile. This continues with a brief moment of silence. Then a “wow”, then the person will tell them how good of a job they did without really mentioning the piece. It happens almost every time with this film and every time it is equally hilarious.

The film will hit at something that sounds like it is taking a detour to another angle. Like Varda asking JR if his art stops him from having meaningful relationships. Or Varda starting to self-reflect on mortality and if it scares her. But it never goes beyond hinting. It’s just flashes in the pan of something far more interesting. But instead, we have a film funded by MoMA about two huge artists that most non-art people have never heard of. Following these two going to these non-art people and doing modern art that they can’t understand or appreciate. Directed by a woman who doesn’t care if it connects and creates for the sake of it, and a man so egotistically that he can’t tell that others don’t think he is as cool as he does.

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