Month: February 2013

The Getaway

From last night’s Open Screen Night, Matty O’ Connor and friends showed this hilarious short that’s currently featured on the home page at FunnyOrDie.com. Great job you guys!

Brad’s Favorite Elements of Star Trek: First Contact

For some reason, I watched A LOT of Star Trek lately and A LOT of “First Contact” today. First the film, then the film with commentary, then the film with another commentary, the featurettes… and so forth. I should know everything about this film by now. But because my memory is getting worse with age, I won’t. But for right now, I’m as immersed in “First Contact” as I was in 1996 when the film premiered and it informed all my creative choices throughout high school. The entire aesthetic of the film saturated my short stories and artwork. And now I’m going to explain why “Star Trek: First Contact” is so badass (as if you didn’t already know):

The Enterprise-E

enterprise_e

The Enterprise-D was destroyed in “Generations” so they had to introduce a new Enterprise for this movie and they delivered my favorite starship design yet! The E is sleek and aggressively styled, rebuilt from the ground up. It has an integrated saucer section and body to reduce the chances of it getting separated by enemy fire and has the classically longer warp nacelles to balance out the design. You can also see the escape pods built into various sections and the captain’s yacht embedded under the hull. The interior has been upgraded as well. The bridge has more compact displays and control panels and richer lighting. The D was designed as a science vessel because the mission at the time was cataloging planets and lifeforms, but because of the growing threat of the Borg, the Federation needed a new flagship bred for war. So they christened the E and it’s dazzled the silver screen ever since.

Foreshadowing

foreshadowing

In one of the first few scenes, Riker sarcastically presents Picard with his Neutral Zone sensor-sweep data of which Picard also scoffs at because they both agree they’re resources are better utilized fighting the Borg who’ve now attacked Earth. The Federation has ordered the Enterprise away because they believe Picard’s history (he was assimilated) with the Borg “would introduce an unstable element to a critical situation.” Like Riker, I’d initially disagree, citing Picard’s experience with the Borg would make him the perfect man to lead the assault. But as we discover through the course of the movie, Picard’s experience does negatively impact his handling of the situation, ultimately becoming obsessed with revenge. This is something I’ve only recently come to appreciate and greatly enriches the story.

Almost a Zombie Movie

borg_zombies

Let’s face it. The Borg are basically robot zombies. Being assimilated is like being bitten by a walker. The Borg never seem to run faster than a stagger and their skin looks like it’s decaying. Most of them don’t speak. Also cool: they even assimilate the Enterprise.

Jerry and Joel Goldsmith’s Score

vulcan

In the eight feature film, the father and son team crafted a variation of the Star Trek fanfare that evokes nobility and an adventurous spirit and use it to great effect in the opening titles and emotionally resonant scene of First Contact. Meanwhile, the metallic and industrial score for the encounters with the Borg provide an ominous quality to those scenes.

Geordi’s Ocular Implants

ocular

It’s the 24th century so this just makes sense. While Georgi’s visor was a visual aesthetic that made his character stand-out, with all the other advanced technology we saw in the Next-Gen universe it didn’t make sense that Geordi couldn’t have cool ocular implants. A bigger budget and CGI certainly helped make that possible and LeVar Burton could finally act through his eyes even though he’d done great so far without them. It was a big “duh, why didn’t they do that sooner?” moment when I first saw the film.

Literary Reference

mobydick

Like another great “Trek” film, this one makes a reference to “Moby Dick” in order to scrutinize a character’s quest for revenge. Picard gets obsessed with punishing the Borg instead of defeating them. It takes a “primitive” 21st century character to expose the perilous path Picard is treading when she references “Moby Dick” (despite admittedly never reading it). This scene will always make you stop and pay attention. Riveting.

Expanding the TV Series

expand

I think “Star Trek” movies have been at their best when they take something from the television series and expand upon it in a film. “Khan” is rooted in a “TOS” episode called “Space Seed”. “First Contact” builds upon “The Best of Both Worlds” by adding the Borg Sphere, a Borg Queen, and making her minions more than guys in black spandex and rubber tubes. Zefram Cochrane originated from a “TOS” episode as well, and his legend as been perpetuated throughout the different series’ ever since. The Dixon Hill holodeck sequence goes back to Next-Gen episodes. There is even a plot point designed to draw Borg from the Delta quadrant in the 21st century to Earth. Luckily for us, that plan fails. Spoiler!

Reluctant Legend

cochrane

Does it ever seem like you grow up idolizing certain people, only to find out they were just regular, flawed people? That’s the fun twist of Zefram Cochrane, the inventor of warp drive and the first man to shake hands with a Vulcan. In the 24th century, the Next-Gen crew knew of Cochrane as a visionary, a historical legend that that ushered in a new era for humanity. There’s a giant statue of him in Montana and Geordi’s high school is named after him. But thanks to the Borg, we discover that Cochrane was actually a profiteer, a boozer, and a skirt-chaser. He built the warp engines with dollar signs in his eyes. “First Contact” eventually turned him around, but it’s interesting to see how history can be written the way we want to perceive it.

Zero-G Combat

zerog

When the Borg attempt to convert the Enterprise’s deflector dish into a beacon to contact Borg reinforcements in the Delta quadrant, Picard enlists Worf and Hawk to walk outside the hull of the ship in order to stop them. It’s clever way to show something we don’t usually see in these films.

The Doctor

doctor

I think it was an inspired idea to include the EMH program from “Voyager” in the film, because presumably, the new Enterprise would have the same technology. What makes this even better is that Crusher uses him for a different purpose, so he gets to homage Dr. McCoy with the line “I’m a doctor, not a doorstop.”

There’s plenty more to love about “Star Trek: First Contact” (Drunk Deanna, “little-ship”, Barclay appearance, “astronauts on some kind of Star Trek”, Worf uses a Borg arm to patch-up his spacesuit, seductive villainess) but these were some of the bigger reasons why this movie succeeds at being so damn entertaining.

Ep. 89: Stoolpigeon

The Reel Nerds confess their opinion of The Rock’s new movie “Snitch”, Star Trek: The Next Generation, John Dies at the End, the most recent episodes of The Office, Resident Evil: Damnation, The Day the Earth Stood Still, and the Playstation conference.

 

(11:20) Fan Mail

 

Watching

(18:40) Ryan: The Five Year Engagement, Resident Evil: Damnation, Quantum of Solace, Sinister, The Day the Earth Stood Still

(34:12) Brad: Star Trek: TNG S1-7, Generations, First Contact, John Dies at the End

(49:21) James: FarCry 3, The Office, The Playstation Meeting

(1:00:42) Box Office Stats

Releases

(1:02:38) Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, The Master, Silent Hill: Revelations 3D, Chasing Mavericks, TMNT: Rise of the Turtles, Zombie Lake Remastered, Oasis of the Zombies

Reel News

(1:07:00) Mississippi never ratified the 13th amendment

(1:09:14) Scott Derrickson next working on Deus Ex for CBS films

(1:11:17) Spielberg gets Megan Fox fired off Transformers so she can be April O’Neil

(1:14:11) Spring Breakers trailer

Comics Corner

(1:15:27) Batman: The Long Halloween

Review

(1:20:00) Snitch

Ryan’s Oscar Picks!

mcosc

Brad and James are not fans of the Academy Awards. I like them, and yes I too get disappointed with some of the movies that make the cut, however I think this year is a very strong year for movies which will make it a very entertaining award show.  So here are my picks for 2013 Oscars…

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Reel Nerds Podcast Unveils Redesigned Website! Internet Continues Uninterrupted

The Reel Nerds are proud to show off their fancy new website. Hopefully this new design will make it easier for you to access our content and will expect it will make it easier for us to bring it to you. Have a look around and enjoy!

Denver Comic Con Announces More Exciting Guests, Volunteering Opportunities, Ticket Sales and More

Denver Comic Con rolls out yet another wave of artist announcements including literary guests, television celebrities, radio and television emcees, as well as opportunities for gamers and volunteers alike.

Chris WareScheduled to take place at the Colorado Convention Center from May 31 – June 2, the annual pop culture event attracted nearly 30,000 people at its launch last year, prompting event organizers to go even bigger and better in 2013. With a guest list that ranges from Nerd-tastic to sci-fi-rific notables such as Stan Lee, Wil Wheaton, Felicia Day and other cast members from The Guild, along with a legion of comic book artists and voice actors, Denver Comic Con is proud to announce that New York Times bestseller Chris Ware is now joining the lineup.

DENVER COMIC CON
Colorado Convention Center
May 31 – June 2nd
GET TICKETS

Fresh off the heels of the organization’s “indie-week” aimed at featuring the crème de la crème of the independent comic world (and released only to their social networking sites) the locally-operated organization announced yet another visionary guest to initiate this year’s Education Day of the convention: New York Times bestseller Chris Ware, known for his work on the Acme Novelty Library series, graphic novel Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid on Earth and the unique set of books called Building Stories. Ware will be a featured guest of both Denver Comic Con and Special Guest at ROMOCOCO (Rocky Mountain Conference on Comics & Graphic Novels). Scheduled to take place the last weekend of May, the five-day event encapsulates both a literary conference and full-scale comic convention, with both events celebrating their second year in 2013.

As if Chris WaNelsen Ellisre’s attendance is not enough to get your geek on, Denver Comic Con announces two more celebrity guests: Nelsan Ellis of True Blood fame and the incomparable Erin Gray, who can be seen most recently on the hit web series The Guild. Nelsan Ellis is no stranger to the acting world; this Julliard-trained actor is not only a popular cast member of HBO’s hit series True Blood as Lafayette Reynolds, but he has been seen in movies such as The Help, Secretariat and The Soloist. Erin Gray is an internationally known actress, speaker and writer. Famous for her role as Colonel Deering on Buck Rogers and the 25th Century, she has also appeared in over 50 television movies and counltess TV series in her prestigious career.

In case you’re still wanting more, be on the lookout for strange and familiar guests hosting panels, as well as signing autographs on the con floor. Event organizers have added a rich group of emcees such as Andy Ihnatko (columnist at The Chicago Sun Times and Macworld, a regular on Mac Break Weekly, frequent speaker, Apple guru, geek and extraordinaire), as well as members from Comic Geek Speak, one of comics’ top-rated podcasts with over 13,000 episodes online.

Not to be overlooked as just a place to find rare comics and get them signed by their authors, Denver Comic Con also features an attractive all-inclusive gaming area including various tournaments, Magic the Gathering, Heroclix, video and board games, role playing games and much more, all for the price of entry.

Want to know how you can be involved? Why don’t you volunteer? Denver Comic Con needs a small army to make this happen and THEY WANT YOU. Volunteer FAQs and applications are available on the DCC website at http://www.denvercomiccon.com/2013/volunteer/. Don’t miss out; the application process closes at midnight on March 15, 2013.

Loaded with costumed characters, vendors, gaming pavilions and all things geek, Denver Comic Con has something for everyone. Children can stop by the face painting and creative hub of the Comic Book Classroom Kids’ Corral while parents peruse collectors’ items and merchandise of all kinds. And it all centers around the vibrant and creative arts community, both local and national, and directly benefits the nonprofit Comic Book Classroom. Hundreds of featured artists both up-and-coming and renowned will be on hand for autograph signings, commissions and much more during the three-day event.

Tickets are on sale now for Denver Comic Con 2013, and are set for a slight price increase on March 1. Weekend passes will increase to $50 for adults and $30 for teens. DCC is also announcing the release of single-day tickets, which will be available beginning March 1.

Single-day prices are as follows:
Friday – $20 adults/$12 teens
Saturday & Sunday – $25 adults/$15 teens each day

Prices will increase on the day of the show and event organizers are encouraging advance ticket purchases for all tickets; VIP passes are already sold out.  For more information about the event or volunteer opportunities check out www.denvercomiccon.com , www.romococo.com or www.comicbookclassroom.org for more information.


ABOUT DENVER COMIC CON: DCC is Denver’s premiere fan experience, covering the worlds of comic books, film, and related media, taking place May 31-June 2, 2013 at the Colorado Convention Center. For the latest news and information, visit www.denvercomiccon.com

ABOUT COMIC BOOK CLASSROOM: Comic Book Classroom is a charitable organization that educates through alternative approaches to literacy, learning, and character development. CBC creates programs for underserved students, schools, and communities via comic books, graphic novels, and related media. CBC is the organizer and producer for the DCC/LC. www.comicbookclassroom.org.

Ep. 88: Warm Bodies Die Hard

Fans Cora and Michael visit the show to watch Warm Bodies with us and Ryan and James find out if it’s A Good Day To Die Hard.

 

(7:27) Fan Mail

 

Watching

(18:20) Cora: The Office, Downton Abbey, The Walking Dead, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Vampire Diaries, Celeste & Jesse Forever

(42:35) Michael: All-Star Superman, It’s Always Sunny, The Whitest Kids You Know

(49:30) Ryan: Wonderboys, The Howling 5, Hellraiser 5, Alien: Director’s Cut, Aliens, Compliance, Peter Pan, Underworld Awakening, Prince of Persia

(1:06:00) James: Transmorphers: Fall of Man, Fast Five

 

(1:16:13) Box Office Stats

 

Releases

(1:17:30) Game of Thrones S2, Argo, Top Gun 3D, Atlas Shrugged, Monsters Inc Ultimate Edition, Sinister, Anna Karenina

 

Comics Corner

(1:21:00) The Boys

 

Reel News

(1:25:00) Sam Mendes probably making another Bond movie

(1:27:00) Criterion collection free on Hulu this weekend

(1:28:00) Photo released of Spider-Man’s lenses

(1:28:37) Mummy reboot has competing scripts

(1:30:20) Ann Wheaton tweets back to Cora she’ll be at DCC2013

(1:32:00) Lowry Air and Space Museum has an X-Wing

 

Review

(1:35:00) A Good Day to Die Hard

(1:47:58) Warm Bodies

Evil Gets An Upgrade: Ryan goes back to the Future with Jason X

Having recently watched Hellrasier: Bloodlines, a movie that takes a movie maniac and puts him in space, I was reminded of a movie that I think is overlooked by the horror movie crowd and written off by Friday the 13th fans, Jason X. Going into space can be bad news for a horror franchise(Leprechaun 4, and the before mentioned Hellrasier) but I think Jason X actually succeeds in placing its villain in space.

 The Friday the 13th franchise was in trouble. After disappointing fans and movie goers with the dreadful Jason Goes To Hell, people wondered if the stalker of Crystal Lake had indeed gone to Hell. And for 7 years it seemed that Jason had in fact been laid to rest. But interest in the character had not waned and New Line was still circling Freddy vs Jason. Instead of waiting for Freddy vs Jason to get made(one of the few bright spots in Jason Goes to Hell was the ending, and New Line had been trying for years to make a VS. movie) Sean Cunningham decided to make another Jason movie.

Todd Farmer(the writer on the movie) only pitched one idea and that was placing it in the future and space so it would not factor in the timeline for a Freddy vs Jason movie. He was given the assignment and James Issacs was selected to direct. Being a fan of Friday the 13th I was really worried about this film. Of course I would go and see it but Jason in space sounded really lame. It was then delayed for a year where it collected dust for a year before it was released April 24, 2002 to a very weary horror audience. In fact it opened #3 with just 6.6 million. And it is to this date the lowest grossing film in the franchise but I think the fans missed a good slasher movie

The movie opens with a captured Jason. He is on his way to be placed in cryogenic suspension. The reason is they can’t kill him so they are going to put him on ice. However an idiotic doctor decides that he is too valuable to just freeze and wants him “soft”, stating that his ability to regenerate cells needs to be studied further. Of course Jason gets free and starts killing everyone. Rowan, the one person who believes Jason is too dangerous to be contained is able to lure him into the cryogenic chamber and freeze him. But Jason is able to stab her through the chamber and thus unleashing the gas freezing both him and Rowan in the room…

Flashforward 450 years and a student expedition finds both Rowan and Jason frozen. They take both of them on their ship and use future technology to revive Rowan because Jason appears “dead”. Soon Rowan wakes up from a very long nap and is told Jason is on board as well, and is assured that he is quite dead, we know better. Jason has already awaken and killed a woman in a very gruesome way.

Jason next plays a game of cat and mouse with a bunch of army guys on the ship, which I think is the movies strongest and scariest part. The scene takes place in the cargo hold with tight corridors and dark places to hide. Jason systematically picks off the grunts one by one until they are all dead.

 Jason continues to pick off the crew members one by one when one student decides to do something about it. He uploads his android with the ability to use weapons with extreme effectiveness. So effective in fact she kills Jason. End of movie! The kids win! Oh wait, it just so happens that Jason was knocked into the medical bay and is being automated. And Uber Jason is born! I won’t ruin the end of the movie but there is a great scene involving VR and Jason is deadlier then ever.

 This movie is lots of fun. Granted there are some silly parts but I do think it’s one of the better Friday sequels. The one glaring weakness and it pains me to say this but Harry Manfredini’s music is horrible. It actually hurts the movie a lot. I love the old theme music but the rest is sloppy and does not fit the tone of the movie. The lighting is weird at parts too making it look a little like a SyFy made for TV movie. But those complaints are minor and I still enjoy the movie. According to an interview with the director there is a lot of deleted scenes that I would love to see, and I am keeping my fingers crossed for an ultimate edition of this movie on Blu-Ray. So there you go if you are a horror movie fan give this one a try, it’s good I promise.

Ep. 87: Nerd Effects

The Reel Nerds overdose on Soderbergh’s final (maybe) film.

Duration: 1 hr. 36 min.

 

(8:35) Fan Mail

 

Watching

(17:35) Ryan: US Marshals, Hellraiser 3: Bloodlines, ATHF Colon Movie Film for Theatres

(32:27) James: House of Cards, We Bought a Zoo, The Thing (2011), Community

 

Box Office

(46:00) Warm Bodies #1, Bullet to the Head #6

 

Releases

(48:50) Skyfall, Bully, The Sessions, The Man with the Iron Fists, Robot & Frank, Duck Dodgers, Silent Hill: Revelations, James Bond re-releases, Bigfoot’s Wild Weekend

 

Reel News

(52:22) New Oz trailer

(54:00) Lone Ranger trailer

(57:57) World War Z trailer

(58:00) Fast and Furious 6 trailer

(1:00:00) Marc Webb tweeting from Spider-Man set

(1:00:30) Star Wars spin-offs

(1:03:55) Evil Dead remake rated NC-17 and one week earlier

(1:07:00) X-Men: Days of Future Past casting news

 

Comics Corner

(1:10:10) Star Trek: Countdown to Darkness

 

Review

(1:15:00) Side Effects

SH*T SH*W REV*EW: Sand Sharks

This whole idea to review movies like these began with our DVD Releases segment on the podcast. Each week when I went through what was coming out that next Tuesday I always scrolled to the bottom to see what things nobody cared about, and what I noticed what just how many shark movies get tossed to the bottom of bargain bins each year. It sometimes felt like there was one every week. But when I saw the cover of Sand Sharks I knew I needed to see it. And when Ryan texted me and said Sand Sharks was on Netflix, I dropped what I was doing and started wasting my time. After that I knew I needed to start doing this blog series, so it’s only fair that Sand Sharks get its own entry.
 
Entrepreneur Jimmy Green has borrowed money from the mob to fund a Spring Break Party on the island that he called home growing up only to find that the beach where he wants to party is infested with a brood of young sharks specially adapted to swim through the sand like it was water. Jimmy struggles to navigate the treacherous sands berween against his ex-girlfriend and her brother—sheriffs of the island—the mayor, a woman from the mob sent to protect their investment, and the deadly sand sharks. People get eaten, there’s dancing, and a guy named Angus fires a flamethrower fueled with napalm.
 
“Are you serious right now?” “As a heart attack… or a shark attack.”
 
Sand Sharks gains points for having built in the makings of a drinking game. It appears that once the script was finished it was given to to another writer whose assignment was simply to work in as many shark puns as possible. Everything ‘bites’, every argument ends with someone saying they had their head bitten off, and beach parties are ‘to die for.’ Some of the puns are awkwardly forced into phrases that don’t even make sense, like ‘you really are a shark-tongued devil’ or ‘we’re kinda stuck between a rock and a shark place.’ These lines are so ridiculous that the only thing that could make them better is if each one were accompanied by a shot.

“You know that this isn’t a party that ends at midnight, it’s you life!”
 
If I thought Brooke Hogan was brilliantly bad in 2-Headed Shark Attack that is only because I didn’t realize how under-utilized she was in that movie. Here she plays Sandy Powers, the daughter of some  kind of super shark scientist who was killed by sharks since the last time that this island called him for help with a shark attack. What’s great about her in this movie is that she spends sixty-percent of her dialogue talking about how she needs to do more tests, “carbon dating, DNA, stuff like that.” I don’t know how a DNA test is going to tell her anything about the shark, but she sure does talk about DNA tests often and apparently it reveals how the sharks scales turn into suction cups and grip each grain of sand while also drawing moisture from them… or something important like that.
 
There are some genuinely fun things about this movie. I really mean that. Jimmy Green is ham-fisted and silly but there is something about Corin Nemec’s performance that is just the right level of over the top. When Jimmy goes to the pier to get everyone to evacuate and he sees two kids—who, by the way, watched a girl get eaten only minutes ago but somehow don’t know that they aren’t safe on the beach—and he screams to get them to run away. The scene is clearly improvised and they allow it to go on so long that when he finally says, “Oh my God, you guys are idiots” it’s genuinely funny. The character is stupid and corny and cliché but there are times when all that is in balance and you’ll actually smile a little at stupid lines of dialogue. Jimmy also finds ways to be distracting the the background of scenes, just acting goofy and drawing attention away from everything else that’s just a normal kind of stupid. I’m not saying I want to see a sequel with this guy in it… I’m just trying my best to say something good about the movie.

The last great character that graces us with his presence is Angus, the shameful replication of Quint from Jaws. He first shows up at the town meeting, just like the actual Quint, and gives a speech about how much he knows about the sharks and that he can catch and kill them, “hook, line, and sinker”—which is completely the wrong idiom for the situation but he just keeps saying it. Maybe the most creative line in the movie is when Angus shows up at the end to usher us into the third act, shouting about killer sharks, and the sheriff asks, “Are you ever seen before you’re heard?” It’s a funny little commentary on that kind of scene transition.
 
I’ve said too many good things about this movie, you’re going to start thinking that it isn’t any fun to watch. This movie is full of dumb. One of the guys who works for Jimmy says he can “crash the internet” and when he tries to prove it he causes the lights in the room to flicker. Right after watching someone get eaten, Jimmy’s dad walks out onto the beach and starts yelling about how he’s tired of all these sharks and that he’s “drawing a line in the sand” and then of course he gets eaten and Jimmy is very sad. The ex-girlfriend cop gets bitten in half yet survives long enough to call Jimmy a jerk as he tries to push her guts back together to keep her alive. This is one of those moments when his ridiculousness is in perfect balance. At that same time the Sheriff and Dr. Sandy Powers are stuck on a rock in the middle of the beach and when Jimmy tells them on the walkie that his sister was bitten in half the Sheriff goes off on Jimmy only to forgive him seconds later. Don’t worry about them by the way, the next time they are needed they will simply show up and when asked how they got off the rock they’ll explain that they “got away.” Did I mention that one of the reasons that the town is hesitant to let Jimmy throw the party is that the last time he did this fifteen people died. They never say what they died from, clearly it wasn’t sand sharks, so I assume that it was just that they partied so hard that they died from over-exposure to partying. Speaking of which once the party starts there are only about thirty people there and the stage is less impressive than a cheap booth at a second rate convention. If something that insignificant can boost the island’s economy like Jimmy promises it will I think they might be better off setting up a lemonade stand, provided they can borrow the pitcher from their parents.

The sharks here are particularly bad. They hardly look like sharks by the way they are designed which only makes the CG stand out even more. Most of the time the sharks are simply seen as fins in the sand, which at least leave a trail wherever they go, but that means the only actual animation is when the sharks jump out of the sand and beach themselves to eat someone. The most we actually see the sharks move is at the end when the really big one—big enough that its dorsal fin is popping out of the top of the nearby ridge—pops up inside of the shack, suddenly much smaller, and wiggles its head back and forth… menacingly! Then Brooke Hogan throws a jar of napalm in its mouth and it explodes.
 
“Eat this you sand of a bitch!”
 
The most jarringly bad part of the movie is the end. They try to draw the sharks to a part of the beach where there is a shack they can hide in while they shoot the sharks with napalm (as I’ve noted before, it’s always fire). But the place where they film the shack and the place where the sharks congregate are clearly two different places filmed as if we wont notice. In a final moment of heroism, Jimmy runs out and attracts the sharks to him by singing Row Row Row Your Boat and then letting them eat him.

“Until then your party isn’t on the sand… it’s on the ice.”
 
And the final score is: 4 out of 5. This movie is really bad in many great ways. From the bad puns and the worse creature effects to the languid set-up for anti-climactic nudity and violence, Sand Sharks is actually pretty funny to watch. Some of the acting and writing manages to actually be palatable enough that it makes the down time between shark attacks watchable. All this would probably only get it a 3 normally but since the points don’t really matter I’m giving it a boost for being on Netflix Instant and being a movie that you could drink to, though honestly if you did a shot every time they made a shark pun you might put yourself in danger. So Have FUN!
 
SH*T SH*W REV*EW will return with Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man 
It won this honor by using modem sounds in the trailer.
– James Hart
Have a bad movie you think I might love. Leave it in the comments below.
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