My wife often accuses me of getting movies on Blu-Ray/DVD, and watching them once and then leaving them on a shelf to collect dust. In an effort to prove her wrong and to also at the same time annoy her, I’ve decided to watch every episode of Family Guy I own. And I own all of them on DVD. All 16 seasons. Plus the Stewie movie and the Star Wars Parodies. I will also review each episode and share my thoughts here. Each article will most likely be a different length due to not knowing how many I will watch at any given time. I will be watching them in order as well so this should be really fun for me, not my wife.

Season 3, Episode 9 “Mr. Saturday Night”

Peter having lost his job at the Toy Factory, Peter decides to follow his dream of being a knight at the Renaissance Fair. At the Renaissance Fair Peter angers the famous Black Knight, due to him flirting with his “wench”, setting up a joust match between Peter and the Black Knight.

A pretty solid episode that starts with Mr. Weed, Peter’s boss coming over for dinner and choking to death. I like the idea of Peter changing jobs which will happen regularly in Family Guy, setting up the family for more and different types of adventures.

Another stand out is Will Ferrell guest starring as The Black Knight. Fun visual gags also pepper the episode, the best is The Black Knight never removes his helmet, so when he shaves, he shaves his helmet.

Grade: B

Season 3, Episode 10 “A Fish Out of Water”

Peter decides that his new dream job is to become a fisherman. He buys a boat and learns that fishing isn’t that easy. He soon finds himself in debt and to get out of debt he attempts to catch an infamous fish, Daggermouth who allegedly eats men!

Lois decides to take Meg to spring break in Florida after Meg complains she never does anything fun. At spring break Lois has more fun than Meg and is soon drinking and partying while Meg is the responsible one.

Seamus the wooden-legged and wooden-armed fisherman makes his debut here, so too does Tom Tucker’s son with an upside-down face. Another good episode that yet again delivers on the visual gags. Also some pretty great writing like this,

Lois: See you in a few days.

Meg: Not if I strangle myself with seaweed wrap and die.

Peter: Ho, ho you are dark!

Grade: B

Season 3, Episode 11 “Emission Impossible”

Lois’ sister is pregnant, and Peter helps deliver the baby. By doing this, Peter tells Lois he wants another child. Lois agrees and they soon begin that quest.

Stewie however is not on board. Stewie starts to wonder what would happen if he was no longer the baby of the Griffin clan and devises a plan to squash Peter’s mojo. Stewie soon learns however that his new brother, Bertram might be an ally he’s always wanted.

Family Guy returns to fine form with “Emission Imposible”. Everything in this episode works. Family Guy seems at its best when the episode is really focused and builds its jokes around the premise. Here the “A” story about Peter and Lois trying to have a baby is hilarious. Stewie’s attempt to thwart their plans is brilliant until he realizes that maybe his unborn brother shares his desire to kill Lois. Bertram is voiced by Wallace Shawn and that makes his deeds even better.

Grade: A

Season 3, Episode 12 “To Love and Die in Dixie”

Chris the witness to a robbery and identifies the robber. This puts the whole Griffin household in danger. The family is sent to the south as part of the Witness Relocation Program.

The Griffins fit right in. Meg becomes the most popular girl in school. Peter and Brian become police officers. And Chris falls in love with Sam, who at first he believes is a boy, but learns that Sam is a girl.

Another gem from Family Guy. The relocation to the South sets up some pretty easy jokes, but they are really funny.

A somewhat throw away character soon becomes a fan favorite, Herbert the creepy old guy who loves Chris. And while some of his jokes and future appearances are a little cringe worthy, he is fun in small doses.

The cutaway jokes are really starting to be a truly fun part of the show. Like this one when Brian tells Peter he needs to get a job and we flashback to one of Peter’s job interviews.

Interviewer: Okay, Peter, where do you see yourself in five years?

Peter(inner monologue): Don’t say doing your wife, don’t say doing your wife, don’t say doing your wife.

Peter(out loud): Doing your…(sees a picture of interviewers son) son?

Grade: B+

Season 3, Episode 13 “Screwed the Pooch”

Brian is horny. Lois suggests he comes with the family to her father’s home to take his mind off of sex.  Peter also wants to prove to Lois’ father Carter Pewterschmidt that he can be classy. His efforts fail, until he plays poker with Carter’s friends, Bill Gates, Michael Eisner and Ted Turner. Peter tells Carter each of their “tells” that helps him win the poker game.

At the Pewterschmidt’s, Brian’s urges are only exacerbated because Carter has a champion bred race dog Brian, um tackles during a race.

An average episode with some funny bits. Like when Brian and Seabreeze are caught in a hotel room and the still is a parody of the Elian Gonzalez raid. (I’m old, does anyone else remember when that was a big news story?) The courtroom scene has some great moments too.

Grade: B-

Season 3, Episode 14 “Peter Griffin: Husband, Father…Brother?

Peter learns that one of his ancestors is a black slave, who was once owned by his father in laws’ family The Pewterschmidts. Carter doesn’t want his family’s sordid history revealed, so he secretly pays Peter reparations. Peter, instead of sharing his money or donating to an African American charity squanders it on things you don’t need, like turning his den into “PeeWee’s Playhouse.”

Stewie in the meantime discovers the power cheerleaders have over crowds and soon joins.

Funny and also a little dated now, but like most sitcoms it pushes boundaries for comedic effect. Family Guy is really good at going for broke in the non-PC department before bringing it all back and making Peter look like a buffoon.

I think that’s one of the best trademarks of Family Guy, pushing the envelope just enough for a character to learn the error of their ways.

 Grade: B+

Season 3, Episode 15 “Ready, Willing and Disabled”

Joe is depressed after a thief steals money and Joe is unable to capture him. Feeling bad for his friend, Peter encourages Joe at the Special Olympics and when Joe makes it to the final event unsure if he can compete, Peter spikes his drink with steroids.

Chris, Meg and Stewie fight over $26 and a hilarious no-holds barred fight breaks out between the kids.

Solid, and funny episode with the biggest laughs coming from Peter’s jealousy about Joe’s recent popularity with the media. Peter’s “movie” on how he got crippled is laugh out load funny.

Grade: B+

Season 3, Episode 16 “A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas”

It’s Christmas time in Quahog. Lois is trying to keep the holiday special, but Peter gave all the presents to charity, Brian sets the house on fire and Stewie is obsessed with a gift from Santa.

Alex Borstein is an amazing voice actress. I love the episodes where she gets to shine, and she is the episodes MVP. She delivers manic, funny lines throughout and her timing is impeccable.

The KISS Christmas Special that Peter really wants to see is hilarious and I want a whole special released.

Grade: A-

Season 3, Episode 17 “Brian Wallows and Peter’s Swallows”

Brian is sentenced to community service and meets a woman who hasn’t left her home in years.

Peter grows a beard and has a nest of baby swallows living in it.

This is an episode only Family Guy can pull off. The “A” story with Brian is heartwarming as Brian discovers who Pearl really is and why she is a recluse. Brian has a show stopping tune to help convince Pearl out of her home, only to be immediately killed in the street by a car.

And Peter’s “bird beard” is so ridiculous its funny.

Grade: B+

Season 3, Episode 18 “From Method to Madness”

Lois convinces Brian to audition for a play, when the judges aren’t impressed with Brian, Stewie gets on stage and steals their hearts. Stewie is placed in the junior acting class and meets Olivia. Olivia is a diva and so too is Stewis, soon the toddlers are clashing and fighting with one another.

Stewie learns that their teacher is going to kick them out if they don’t work together. Stewie and Olivia put aside their differences and become a hit.

Meanwhile, Peter saves a boy from drowning in the ocean and is invited over for dinner. The boy, Jeff and his family are nudists, which Peter did not know until they were at the dinner. Meg falls for Jeff much to the chagrin of her parents.

Any episode that focuses on Stewie being a diva is a winner. Seth MacFarlane is crushing it in this episode. From Stewie’s long winded rebuttal to Olivia dissing him to his singing performance, make this a great episode.

And anytime naked Peter is on screen, I will laugh. The image is too funny.

Grade: A

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