Month: June 2015

Ep. 208: Funbearable

The Reel Nerds and filmmaker Henry Jarvis support teddy bear rights in Ted 2.

The Lost Script: Jurassic World

Even though I said on the podcast that Jurassic World was an ‘okay’ movie, Ryan has been lumping me into the ‘it sucked’ camp because, for him, this type of movie doesn’t have to try for anything more than: park breaks, dinos get out, terrorize people, money well spent. And clearly, the rest of the world was fine with it too because, even after one week at the box office, it’s still selling record amounts of tickets. (I’ve seen it twice! In 2D and 3D IMAX)

And good for JP4! A lot of people worked really hard to make another summer blockbuster that does just that! It hits all the summer blockbuster checklist boxes it was designed to do and it worked. Hopefully Universal employees are getting fat bonuses this year after scoring two monster hits (Furious 7).

But, I’m not fine with JP4 just being ‘okay’. And again, I will clarify, Jurassic World IS NOT terrible or unwatchable or the worst movie of 2015. I just don’t think it’s that much more watchable than the other two sequels (which I also think are just okay, not terrible, not the worst movies of those years either) and certainly doesn’t capture the wonder of the first.

I wish it tried harder to be something more. I was never surprised or impressed or challenged with anything going on. I was simply along for the ride and I feel like on your fourth outing (after leaving the public consciousness for 15 years) you have a great chance to try something new. Take a chance!

I’m also a firm believer in that if you criticize something, offer up a better idea in its place and don’t just sit back and claim ‘they did it all wrong’ without providing the solution. So here’s my solution:

My biggest point of boredom with the movie was the story. So I present to you… MY plot synopsis for Jurassic World: The Brad is a Genius Edition:


The park is finally open!

The death of John Hammond and numerous lawsuits have left a void in the vision of his park. Lawyers and billionaires have wrangled the patents and rights solely back to the full ownership of inGEN who build the fully functioning park purely for profit, and in doing so, make it only affordable to the world’s wealthiest vacationers. (ubiquitous social commentary fulfilled)

Meanwhile, a young, female dino-enthusiast (let’s pick a name for her at random… how about… James!) from a lower-middle class family, dreams of one-day seeing a living-breathing dinosaur in-person. James’ classmates insist it’ll never happen unless she wins the lottery but she insists that by chasing a career in archaeology, she may someday get a job at the park.

But she can’t wait. And her best friend, Ryan, says he knows a way to sneak into this exclusive and highly secure park because he’s learned skills “on the streets”. So, they hitch-hike to the island via a series of street-smart scams and ruses and find a flaw in the park security much to the chagrin of park manager, Bryce Dallas Howard.

Knowing her billionaire boss will not stand for this security breach or the loss of revenue for two teenagers, BDH dispatches a team to track and incarcerate the plucky pair. This team is not led by, but includes Chris Pratt, who is reluctant to follow these orders because he doesn’t agree with the exclusiveness of the park and general lack of respect for nature. Team leader Vincent D’onofrio is more than happy to play war games on some freeloading kids, so while trying to trap James and Ryan, the team accidentally breaches the paddock of some carnivorous dinosaur(s) and all Hell breaks loose!

Chris Pratt survives the breach, teams up with the kids, and works to find a way back to central command, knowing there is no way to ever contain or fight the dinosaurs. Back at central command, the building is empty, except in the genetics lab, Chris, James, and Ryan find a distraught BDH raiding the embryos.

“I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!” she yells before injecting herself with Tyrannosaurus DNA! She mutates into a ginger/T-Rex hybrid and Chris Pratt distracts her with a flare while James tries to formulate an antidote using knowledge we foreshadowed to throughout the movie up to this point. Just as Chris Pratt is about to get eaten, Ryan fires the antidote into G-Rex’s mouth and she dissolves into bones and Ryan quips, “You just got… boned! Giggity..”

They leave the lab and go back out into the park looking for a boat when suddenly, flying saucers descend from the sky revealing… ARMED HYPER-INTELLIGENT SPACE DINOSAURS (basically Triceratons) who demand the embryos!

CAMERA PUSHES IN ON CHRIS PRATT AND KIDS

CHRIS PRATT

Well this… ex-stinks.

CUT TO TEXT CARD: TO BE CONTINUED IN “JURASSIC SPACE”!

Hey guys. Writing a major Hollywood script is hard.

Ep. 207: Nerdside Out

Ryan and James feel all the feels when they review Inside Out.

This Week at the Alamo Drafthouse Denver: 6/21 – 6/28

Monday, June 22
Shiner Soundtrack Series: 2001: A Space Odyssey @ 7:30 p.m.

Tuesday, June 23
Beer Dinner: Under Siege with Dry Dock Brewing Co. @ 7:30 p.m.
Vinegar Syndrome Presents: The Muthers @ 10:20 p.m.

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Wednesday, June 24

Mondo x Chiller Presents: The Beyond @ 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, June 28
Afternoon Tea: Austenland @ 2:00 p.m.
Maximum Bondage: Live and Let Die @ 5:00 p.m.

Also playing…
Opening Friday, June 26: Ted 2


Inside Out
Jurassic World
Spy
Entourage
Mad Max: Fury Road

Next Week’s Sneak Peek…

Girls Inc. presents Hanna

Beer Dinner: Terminator 2 with Lagunitas Brewing Co.
Rowdy Magic Mike XXL hosted by Chris Parente and Kathie J of the “Everyday” show on FOX31
Chronic-Con, Episode 420: A New Dope with Doug Benson and Filmmakers
Magic Mike XXL and Terminator Genisys open Wednesday, July 1

Ep. 206: Jurassic Nerds

The park is open so Ryan and Brad take a trip to Jurassic World.

Ep. 205: Spy Girl

Ryan and Brad are the unlikely duo to go undercover to watch Spy.

GROWLS AND ‘SWELLS’: AN ANALYSIS OF CLINT EASTWOOD (PART 5)

EPISODE 5: BASED ON A TRUE STORY

It was bound to happen folks. I could not avoid it for long. We found a group of films that DON’T… HAVE… CLINT!

(Cue Dramatic Look Gopher or whatever this generation uses as it’s cue of suspense)

Granted, 2 of the films in Episode Three did not have Clint in them, but now they take up an entire article.

As it turns out, these films share a common thread: inspired by true events. When it comes to biopics and true life stories, Clint has managed to show off what he can do without his charisma in front of the camera. In these, as with any of his off screen endeavors, he shows a distinct style thats driven toward what can either be described as ‘new wave noir’ or ‘melodrama throwback in glorious technicolor.’ Regardless of the label, Clints visual style is enticing and at many times downright brilliant in its simplicity and use of shadows. He brings an air of mystery to the proceedings, and in the case of these films manages to provide true suspense out of something where the ending is widely known going in. He paints a rather interesting view of history that has surprising amount of balance if you sit down and watch the film without any prior convictions going in, and if you do have said convictions he still manages to present both sides in a fair light.

So join us as we explore the exploits of an FBI director, a South African President, an oppressed mother who’s child is missing, an affluent and shady antiques dealer, and an American hero…. These are, as Joe Friday would say, “Just the facts ma’am.”

(Cue Dragnet theme)

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INVICTUS

3 outta 4 Rugby balls

A film about Nelson Mandela seems like a better fit in the form of what eventually was made into the superb 2013 film LONG WALK TO FREEDOM.
Still, INVICTUS provides a different and in many ways more intriguing look at Mandela from a character stand point. How does this man whos journey landed him in prison then brought him to the presidency of South Africa affect him in the retrospect. What has Mandela lost in the long struggle for equality? What convinces him that a rugby match is the important lynchpin in uniting the country? What drives him to the decisions he makes?. You could answer all these rather simply, but the way Morgan Freeman plays Mandela one is more content and thrilled to watch him act it out then be handed a some bullet points on a napkin.

The films carries around an extreme amount of uplifting music laden across the Rugby matches and while not a big problem, probably would have been better in scarce use. It suffers the same problem that any true story faces: we know it turns out all right. So its really about building the tension rather than relying on too many uplifting moments. The strongest points in the film are when everything seems its darkest and we see Freeman and Damon really dig into the heart of the matter, which seems to be only shown in quick montage rather than more elaborated moments of reflection. You do really want to understand the tension in South Africa in addition to the inspiring Rugby game.

But, beggars cant be choosers, and INVICTUS is still a worthy watch with great performances and a wonderful heart that Clint beautifully brings to life on the screen.

J.EDGAR

3 outta 4 G-Men Badges in every box of Post Toasties

Leonardo DiCaprio has made a solid career of portraying real life figures after breaking free of the constraints of heartthrob of the moment. In an eloquent and stunning stretch he has played Frank Abignale Jr., Howard Hughes, and Jordan Belfort, and soon he will play fur trapper Hugh Glass.

Then theres the one people like to forget about… The one with the “interesting make up”.

J. EDGAR stands on a strong biopic premise that aptly covers the life and significant events of the controversial FBI Director who essentially brought criminal investigation into the realms of science and technology to aid in the catching of criminals while also running around believing that Bolshevik Communists would tear our country apart.

The film has two hiccups: the smaller one you dont notice off hand is the difficulty at times to find out if it wants to demonize Edgar or find sympathy and heroism in his story. Its a very difficult balancing act that divides generations, which while bold also nearly looses it’s footing. The second hiccup that everyone hears and says “Hey pal, want me to scare you so they’ll go away” is the old age make up on Leo and Armie Hammer. No matter how realistic it looks, it detracts from getting a good facial response from the actors delivering very powerful material dealing with Edgar and Tolson.

Still, the performances sell the film, and in a testament to Clints directorial approach, he lets the actors go into a very intriguing grey area where the audience has to decide where their sympathy is going to lie emotionally rather than politically. Leos performance is good and further shows that he deserves his mantle in the top tier of dramatic actors.

Props also go to the script by Dustin Lance Black, who’s clever writing addresses the subject with elegance and poise rather than typical “corrupt guy” movie.

CHANGELING

4 outta 4 Counts of Fuck Da Police

Gone is purely great ‘weepy’ in the US, so much so that when it succeeds, it gets relegated to the league of its inferior brothers and sisters. Some recent attempts fail to capture pure honesty and frustration out of its audience because they fall back on safe choices.

If there is one fault in Changeling, Im not seeing it. From the opening archived Universal logo and the dissolve from black and white to color, Clint Eastwood is aptly pointing us to a salute to the heartbreaking and frustrating dramas of the 40s, and for all but a few shots he succeeds in creating the closest modern day equivalent to those “Weepies” of the 30s and 40s. The cinematography, set well against the very dark and disturbing plot, never captures terrible acts. Rather it relies on a sort of Hays code restriction that forces us to merely imagine the worst rather than see it (save for flashes of violence that barely go beyond a quick cut of a bloody axe being lifted upward). Clints choices in the film are absolutely astounding.

The story follows Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie) searching for her son. When the LAPD returns mother to son there is a problem: they did not bring back the right child. This sets a story into motion that deals with police corruption, female disempowerment, male chauvinism, and ultimately terrible reality. The writer is J. Michael Stracyzinski. He has a background of film and comic book writing. There are elements of both through key monologues and characterizations where the line is clearly drawn between the persecuted and the corrupt. Its a move that never fumbles through even the very scarce over the top moments .

As for Jolie? I can not understate how powerful she is, bringing all the pure and utter horror and tragedy of a parent with a missing child without over doing it is a tough job that she handles with ease.

It’s a film that received mediocre acclaim upon release, but not even 7 years of time to ponder has seem to have convinced any one in this country of the films brilliance. Europe seems to get it though, as they usually do.

MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL

4 outta 4 Mint Juleps

Imagine a world where this film got a lot more credit than it initially received…. Im serious, do it, because that is the type of world I’d like to live in.

MIDNIGHT tells the true life story of the trials of Jim Williams, who was eventually acquitted of murder.

Its premise is simple but it’s setting, characters, and execution are not. Clint paints a portrait of the south that seems like the oddest of wonderlands filled with absolute focus on how the town functions and deals with mundane local gossip and questions of morality. Amidst this, he piles on a nice layer of spiritual nature that puts everyone on screen in a realm far beyond the constraints of a typical courtroom drama.

Adapting the books sense of humor amidst a dark situation is a huge gamble, a gamble that films FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS took when lifting liberally from the source material. The gamble pays off in strides in one goes in with an open mind.

It is a film that really asks you, the viewer, to step beyond its simple crime and explore the environment; described thusly by John Cusack as, “Gone With The Wind on mescaline.”

With any adaptation as prolific as this, there is room for dismissal. However MIDNIGHT (now approaching its 20th anniversary) must be left to the judgement of todays audience, which in the wake of the post-theatrical love of FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS might find charm and spellbound notions in this fascinating motion picture.

AMERICAN SNIPER

3.5 outta 4 Plastic Babies

The amount of controversy surrounding the most current Clint Eastwood directorial effort seems steeped in a national desire to pick a fight for the sake of picking a fight to garner political points on either side. Clints films will do that sometimes. The same attitude faced MILLION DOLLAR BABY back in 2004.

Regardless of any opinion within the realms of politics or patriotism, AMERICAN SNIPER is a damn powerful film that’s heart doesnt lie in what the rhetoric pundits dish out on. The film is about PTSD in the long run, and it does an amazing job of showing the small details that soldiers face with this affliction. In an incredible scene, Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) pounds hard on the glass of the room full of new arrivals, attempting to get the nurses to attend to his newborn daughter. It is a tense moment that says more than any monologue can on the subject of PTSD.

As for the war element… Well we are thrown into Kyles perspective, which indicates that we do need to step into shoes that feel uncomfortable, but you also see him through a transformation that is enticing to watch Bradley Cooper pull off with grace and grit.

There are really only two flaws with the films over all execution: a) it may have been best to show just a little more of the civilian life, even if that meant a 3 hour film (id easily sit down for it).
and b)….. That plastic baby…. I… If you…. And other thing…… ITS A PLASTIC BABY!!!!!

__________________

Man, you’d think this would all be getting old after 21 films. But we still got 36 more films to go. The only thing that will be getting old will be Clint himself, as next article we will tackle his recent status as resident grumpy old man.

Review: Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows

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After nearly 8 years of swinging bachelorhood Peter Parker is married again! Secret Wars has been unleashed in the Marvel Universe and with it we are getting new takes on characters and in the case of Peter Parker, a What If? story.

Over the last decade Spider-Man has been through a lot. The Powers that Be at Marvel were not fans of a married Peter Parker. They believed it made him too old and took a lot of the fun out of the comic. spideymephistoSo they came up with a plan. During Civil War(HUGE SPOILER WARNING!!!!) Peter decides that the responsible thing to do is to reveal to the world that he is in fact, Spider-Man! This was a really cool idea and changed the dynamic of Spider-Man comics. What would J. Jonah Jameson do? How would his enemies react? It gave Jonah a heart attack, and it made Peter a target. The Kingpin hires a hitman to take Peter out. But the sniper’s bullet hits Aunt May instead. An enraged Peter dons his black suit and nearly beats the Kingpin to death, and tells him if May dies then Spider-Man won’t kill him, but Peter Parker will. Great stuff! This story doesn’t last long as we learn there is no way to save May and she will succumb to the gunshot wound.

Desperate, Peter tries every brilliant mind he knows, from Tony Stark to Dr. Strange they all say they cannot save her. But fate intervenes. Or should I say the Marvel version of Satan, Mephisto. He tells Mary Jane and Peter he will save Peter’s dying Aunt if they do one thing, allow him to wipe their marriage away! If this sounds contrived you would be right, of course just offering isn’t the big deal the fact that Peter agrees is. One More Day is one of those stories that has always bothered me. I don’t mind when Peter is faced with a challenge that seems unwinnable, but I do not like it when the story goes against his character, and making a deal with the Devil doesn’t seem like something Peter Parker would do.

So the challenge falling on Dan Slott and company is, can they make a story where Peter is not only married but also has a daughter interesting? After the first issue I can say that yes, they absolutely can! youngmjspideyIt actually did my heart good to see Mary Jane and Peter not only married but happy. The scenes and dialog with Peter, MJ, and their baby Annie are some of the cutest, most smile inducing moments in a Spider-Man comic in a long time. It also proves that it’s ok that Peter is still married, there are stories to tell and good ones at that. The issue also introduces a new villain named Regent who is hellbent on ruling the world. Renew Your Vows also features the return of a certain A-List villain that I won’t spoil here but how Peter deals with him is shocking and understandable. The issue leaves you wanting more from this version of Peter’s life which is a testament to how well Slott pulled this off. Plus it features stunning art work by Adam Kubert who last crushed it with Spidey on the cool limited series Spider-Man/Wolverine. What Slott gets right most importantly is what I think is the single biggest asset to a Spider-Man story, character. It doesn’t matter if Peter is single, married, white, black, Asian or Indian. If you get his character right, the stories will always be good.

This is a strong first issue and makes me a little sad knowing it’s just a limited series, but hey, after Secret Wars maybe this will be Spider-Mans new status quo.

Reel Interview: Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti

The Reel Nerds talk to DC Comics’ Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti at Denver Comic Con 2015!

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Reel Interview: Marguerite Bennett

The Reel Nerds interview Batgirl and DC Comics Bombshells writer Marguerite Bennett at Denver Comic Con 2015!

DC COMICS BOMBSHELLS TAKE COMMAND OF AUGUST

Bestselling Line Expands with New Comic Series, Variant Covers and More!

DC Entertainment’s fan-favorite Bombshells designs take center stage in August with an all-new comic book series, the return of the popular variant cover theme, new statues from DC Collectibles, as well as new product offerings from Warner Bros. Consumer Products and DC Universe Online. The DC Comics Bombshells designs pay tribute to World War II vintage and historical depictions of classic characters. The Bombshells have become a sensation, and now fans can enjoy these wartime characters in new ways.

DC COMICS BOMBSHELLS will join the Digital First comic line-up with a new ongoing series. Digital chapters will be available starting in July with the first print collection available August 12. Written by Marguerite Bennett and art by Marguerite Sauvage, DC COMICS BOMBSHELLS #1 introduces retro-bombshell versions of Batwoman, Wonder Woman and Supergirl in an alternate reality where super-powered female heroes are on the front lines in WWII! The full line of Bombshells characters will be introduced as the story unfolds in the months ahead.

“DC COMICS BOMBSHELLS is one of the wildest things I’ve ever had the pleasure to create–a story of the DC heroines, all the DC heroines, in a crisis that defines themselves as well as their generation,” explains writer Marguerite Bennett. I cannot possibly tell you how excited and grateful I am to be involved in a story this massive and inventive. The series will explore war stories, romances, mysteries, heists, action adventure, and horror in a way that only these characters could do–I cannot wait for this book to drop. Pun very much intended.”

“When I was contacted to work on this book, I was attracted by the retro style of the statues, not to mention the most iconic female characters of DC are represented,” explains artist Marguerite Sauvage. “And then when I read Marguerite’s script, I was really excited and totally convinced by the story, the tone and the universe and time it will take place. In terms of artistic approach, I focused on page layouts and more on graphics than on a realistic approach. I spent a lot of time searching for references to be as accurate as possible to the story and habits of this time period, but keeping in mind it’s a parallel universe, so I can take some freedom on details.”

Also in August, the newest wave of Bombshells will be celebrated as the variant cover theme for DC Comics’ periodicals. Following the incredible success of the June 2014 Bombshells theme month, the new selection of variant covers expands to feature a cast of iconic DC characters including AQUAMAN, BATMAN, CHEETAH, DICK GRAYSON, GREEN LANTERN, HUNTRESS, KILLER FROST, POWER GIRL, RAVAGER, RAVEN, SUPERMAN, and SINESTRO!

Continuing the success of the bestselling statue line that started the Bombshell phenomenon, DC Collectibles is adding DC Comics’ Cheetah and Killer Frost characters to the Bombshells line. Designed by Ant Lucia and sculpted by Sam Greenwell and Tim Miller respectively, these new statues will hit stores in Spring 2016.

DC Bombshells has truly become a fan phenomenon with a variety of items available from Warner Bros. Consumer Products licensees including apparel and accessories from Bioworld, collectible buttons from Diamond Comics, stylized posters from Quantum Mechanix, stickers from At-a-Boy, and PVC figures from Cryptozoic.

Players of DC Universe Online can also expect to see Bombshells Legends characters, in addition to unique episodes for players to jump into action alongside them.

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