It’s October in Colorado, which means the coolest film festival takes place in the beautiful town of Telluride. The Telluride Horror Show is a favorite of mine (and my wife and the fellow Nerds). We podcasted from there twice a long time ago. And while we haven’t brought our podcast back, my wife and I have gone back a couple of times. This year, I was able to catch seven films, short programs and soak in the scenery and the gore. Instead of just posting my thoughts of the films on Letterboxd, I thought I would also write detailed reviews with you my loyal listeners/readers my thoughts on the films I saw. So sit back, relax and lets get spooky!

You’ll Never Find Me (2023) Directed by Indianna Bell and Josiah Allen

It’s a dark and stormy night. Patrick (Brenden Rock) is sitting alone at his kitchen table. Patrick seems lost in his thoughts. Patrick also appears to be in pain, not physically but emotionally. As the storm rages on, there is a loud knock on the door. Patrick tells this “intruder” to fuck off and leave him alone. The knocks continue and a faint voice can be heard.

Patrick cautiously opens the door. We see a young woman (Jordan Cowan) standing in the rain. She explains she needs help as her car is broken down and asks to use Patrick’s phone to call for help. Patrick is hesitant and reluctantly lets her in.

The woman tells Patrick that she ran from the beach and she just needs to use his phone. Patrick produces change from his pocket and says he doesn’t have a phone but there is a pay phone on the other side of the trailer park. Patrick offers to take her to the phone when the storm clears. The woman is hesitant and doesn’t trust Patrick.

Patrick also doesn’t trust the woman. What is she doing here? Why is she out so late? As they get to know one another, the distrust and paranoia only grows.

You’ll Never Find Me, is a slooowww burn of a film. The film plays on the paranoia of the two characters and as more of their respective stories are revealed, the more the tension amps up. Which makes this film a hit and miss affair is it that it bubbles with frustration for the viewer as you keep waiting and waiting and waiting for something to happen. It almost never does.

Both actors are very good. We are basically watching a two person play and it only succeeds if the actors are top notch, which they are. The sound design as well is great. It plays an important role in the film and acts a character as well.

You’ll Never Find Me is a hard film to get too much into as you don’t want to spoil it, but again I don’t think the ending makes the slog through the film worth it. Every time I started to think it was going somewhere, it throws another “twist” to the story that neuters all momentum that it had built up and earned.

Even with strong character work turned in by the actors, You’ll Never Find Me asks too much patience from its audience to ever by an effective thriller, let alone horror film.

Grade: D+